Hiccup the Useless
by HorrorFan6
Summary: In an attempt to protect his son, Stoick concocts a plan that winds up hurting Hiccup worse than the young Viking would have ever imagined possible. His wounds are so great that he tries to end his life, but recovering from a suicide attempt is only half of Hiccup's battle. Now he has to learn to trust his family and friends again. Rated T for self-harm and some foul language.
1. Chapter 1: First Signs

**A/N: So…yeah, I've already done this story. I posted the first part – what will be the first eight chapters of this version – in my collection of HTTYD one-shots. But when I decided to continue the story, I figured it made more sense to publish them separately rather than add to what was always supposed to be a collection of separate and individual one-shots. So here it is. **

**This story is loosely based on/inspired by "The Real Hero" by SnowFlower Frost. I have their permission to use their story as inspiration. To read "The Real Hero," go to my Favorites list. **

**This story is rated T, but there will be some pretty dark material, including angst, foul language, and attempted suicide. Just a heads-up. Don't say I didn't warn you. **

**HTTYD belongs to Cressida Cowell and DreamWorks SKG. **

**And with all that out of the way, on with the show! **

Chapter One

First Signs

"Hiccup!"

The sixteen-year-old boy grimaced and looked up from his prone position on the ground. He had fallen. Again. Stupid metal leg. Was he ever going to get used to it? It had been a full year since the battle with the Red Death. He ought to have been able to walk around the market without his leg giving out from underneath him. Yet here he was, on his stomach in the middle of the square with Vikings all rushing over to help him stand, his dragon Toothless staring down at him with unmistakable worry.

"I'm all right," he said automatically, taking an offered hand and pulling himself to his feet again. He wavered for a moment on his prosthetic but steadied after a couple of seconds. Cheeks flushed, he looked up at the Viking who had helped him up and said, "Thanks."

"No problem," he replied gruffly yet kindly. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes," Hiccup Haddock replied, putting perhaps a little more force in the word than was strictly necessary. He laid a hand on Toothless' head, using the Night Fury for both physical and emotional support. "I'll be fine."

The man nodded and turned away, returning to his shopping and allowing Hiccup to do the same. He checked the list his father had written for him and mused, "Hmm…I think some bread is all we have left to get." He nodded and set off for the bread cart, Toothless tagging faithfully along beside him. The dragon crooned, and Hiccup looked down at him. "I'm all right, bud," he insisted. "Really."

The look in Toothless' big green eyes said quite plainly that the dragon wasn't convinced. Hiccup sighed and a small smile crossed his lips. "I know you worry, bud, and I appreciate it. But a little tumble in the market isn't going to ruin my day." He scratched the spot under Toothless' chin that he knew his friend absolutely loved. Toothless rumbled happily, and Hiccup chuckled.

"You okay there?"

Hiccup whirled around so fast that he almost collapsed again. Astrid Hofferson stood just behind him, a concerned smile on her face.

_Oh gods, of all the people to see me fall, it had to be her_, Hiccup thought with an inward groan.

"Hey there, Astrid," he said aloud, trying to sound nonchalant and not quite pulling it off. "What are you up to?"

Astrid raised her eyebrows. "Same as you. Shopping for my parents." She raised a bag clutched in her right hand with an unenthusiastic shrug. "You didn't answer my question."

Hiccup sighed. There was simply no escaping it. "I'm fine, Astrid. I just fell. Again. Nothing new there."

Astrid gave him a look that was full of understanding and compassion, and Hiccup felt his cheeks redden again. "It's okay, Hiccup," she said, taking a step toward him. He suddenly found it hard to breathe. "There's no shame in having a metal leg. It'll just take some time to get used to, that's all. No one thinks any less of you because of it."

Any retort he might have prepared was lost as he gazed at her. Smiling sweetly, Astrid leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, a kiss that effectively shut down his thought process. When she pulled back, she grinned at his wide-eyed expression. "Well, I'd better finish up here and get back home. See you later, Hiccup." She turned and began to walk away.

Hiccup finally unstuck his throat. "Astrid!"

Astrid paused and looked back at him. "Yes?"

Speaking without thought, he blurted, "Would you like to go on a date tonight? A night flight? Just the two of us and Toothless?" At the sound of his name, the black dragon gave his trademark gummy smile.

Astrid smiled. "I'd love to, Hiccup."

Hiccup grinned goofily. "Great. I'll pick you up at sunset?"

"Sunset," Astrid confirmed, and she continued on her way. Still grinning like a doofus, Hiccup headed over to the bread cart with perhaps a bit more of a spring in his step than before.

A few minutes later, their purchases complete, the pair stood at the base of the hill that led up to the house they shared with Stoick the Vast. Hiccup sighed. Even when he'd had both his legs, that climb had been tough. And now…

Toothless growled questioningly, and Hiccup replied, "No, bud. I can manage." He put the bundle of bread into a bag he'd attached to Toothless' saddle and resolutely began the long walk up the hill. Each step took a concentrated effort. It was a little easier than it once had been. For two months after his injury, he'd been forced to ride Toothless all the way up, unable to make the climb himself. He'd only recently been able to walk it on his own, without Toothless supporting him. But it still took several minutes to make it to the front door, and when he had he was red-faced and panting. Toothless made a sound of worry, but Hiccup waved him off. "No, I'm fine. I've got to learn how to do it by myself. It's the only way I'll heal."

The dragon didn't reply, but he didn't look convinced either.

Hiccup took a deep breath and wiped sweat from his forehead. "Figures. I can kill a dragon the size of a mountain and survive, but climbing up a hill does me in. Yeah. Sounds about right."

Toothless huffed, and Hiccup couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ah, son, you're back!" Stoick called jovially from his chair by the fire, looking up as the door swung open and Hiccup stumbled in. "You find everything all right?"

"Yeah," Hiccup replied, still a little out of breath. "It's all in the bag." He gestured vaguely at the pack on Toothless' saddle.

Stoick's smile slipped as he observed his son, and a worried frown creased his forehead. He sighed. "Did you take the whole hill by yourself again, Hiccup?"

Hiccup winced. Was it that obvious? "Yeah, I did," he mumbled.

Stoick shook his head. "You shouldn't overexert yourself, son."

"I know," Hiccup interjected quickly, hoping to avoid another lecture on letting himself become accustomed to having a fake leg. "I thought I could handle it." After a pause he added, "I _am _getting better, though."

Stoick seemed to consider arguing further but settled on another sigh and a nod. "Well, that's good," he conceded, and Hiccup let out a breath in relief, knowing he had been spared. "Just be careful, Hiccup."

"I will," Hiccup replied with a grin. "I'm always careful."

Stoick raised his eyebrows but didn't contradict him. As he pulled the pack off Toothless' saddle, he asked, "You planning to go to the Academy this afternoon?"

Hiccup nodded. "Yep. Just as soon as I've fully caught my breath, Toothless and I will head on over." He quickly added, "Don't worry, I'll ride Toothless there."

Stoick nodded in satisfaction. "All right. Have fun. And try to be home in time for supper."

Smiling, Hiccup nodded. "I will." He rested for a few more minutes before he departed, leading Toothless back outside. He settled himself in the saddle and latched his metal foot in the special stirrup. With a happy roar, the dragon spread his wings and took off, and Hiccup couldn't stop himself from whooping in joy. "This never gets old!" he cried, and Stoick chuckled as the form of boy and reptile rapidly shrank into the distance.

"That dragon has done wonders for him," he mused, stroking his beard thoughtfully. He was about to turn back into the house when a flurry of motion caught his eye, and he paused. There was a man climbing the hill his son had just struggled up, holding a scroll in his upraised hand.

"Stoick!" he called. "This message just arrived for you!"

"Thank you, Sven," Stoick acknowledged, taking the scroll with a nod before retreating into the house to read it. With the first line his smile vanished. With the second line a worried frown clouded his features. His expression turned darker with every word, and when he had finished all the light in his eyes was gone.

_Not good. Not good at all… _

…

"Well that went well," Hiccup remarked as they flew high above the village.

Toothless grumbled in reply, and Hiccup shrugged. "Okay, yeah, so having Tuffnut set Snotlout's pants on fire was a downside, but hey, it could have been worse. And it's not like that hasn't happened before."

The sun was just beginning to lower toward the sea. Seeing it, Hiccup's heart gave a bound. Soon he would be flying with Astrid. Nothing could possibly bother him when he was with her. Not his friends' antics in the training arena, not his metal leg, nothing.

He directed Toothless to land in front of their house, choosing this time to forgo the difficult climb. As he dismounted, the door opened and Stoick emerged. "Hey Dad," Hiccup said cheerfully. "I've got a date with Astrid tonight. I'll be on my way just as soon as I grab my—"

"Hiccup," Stoick interrupted, and the stern tone of his voice made Hiccup freeze in his tracks. "I need you to stay inside tonight. I'm going to a meeting in the Great Hall and I might be awhile. Go ahead and have your supper, then go to bed. All right?"

"I…what?" Hiccup blinked in confusion. His father usually made him sit in on meetings to prepare him for becoming a chief someday. So why the orders to stay inside? "Uh, shouldn't I come with you?"

"Not this time, son," Stoick replied shortly. Hiccup frowned. Why was his father acting so distant? What was wrong? "I just need you to stay in the house. I'll explain to Astrid that you can't meet her tonight."

"Wait, Astrid's gonna be at the meeting?" Hiccup asked.

Stoick nodded. "Aye. The whole village will be there."

"Except me," Hiccup clarified.

Stoick nodded again. "Right."

There was a pause.

"Well…all right…if you're sure…?" The lilt in Hiccup's voice made it sound like a question.

"I am," was Stoick's only reply. Then he turned and headed further up the hill in the direction of the Great Hall. Hiccup watched him go with a bewildered look on his face before turning to Toothless.

"Well that was weird," he said.

Toothless warbled in agreement.

…

"I don't think it's a good idea, Stoick," said Gobber uneasily. "It's, well…"

"Vicious," Astrid provided, looking Stoick in the eye. "Cruel. There has to be a better way to do this."

"I'm open to suggestions," Stoick replied, not seeming the least bit offended by the girl's boldness.

No one said anything for a while. Then Fishlegs timidly spoke up. "We could…uh…tell him…?"

"Absolutely not," Stoick dismissed him. "And I don't need to tell you why."

There was silence for several minutes.

"Do you really think it'll work, Stoick?" Gobber asked, sounding as if he had some serious doubts.

Stoick nodded. "I think it's the only thing that will."

"And what of the consequences?"

The chief didn't reply to that for a while. Then he muttered, "It's the only way to keep him safe. And I will do whatever it takes to protect him."


	2. Chapter 2: Celebration

**A/N: Wow, eleven reviews on the first chapter? You guys rock! Seriously, I've never had such an immediate response to one of my stories before. Thank you all so much! I hope you continue to enjoy this. **

Chapter Two

Celebration

Hiccup yawned as he descended the stairs the next morning, rubbing sleep from his eyes and trying his best not to tumble headlong to the first floor of the house. Toothless followed behind him, looking as though he desperately wanted to take his friend's tunic in his teeth and carry him. The passing time had not made the boy any less clumsy. The dragon visibly relaxed when Hiccup set both feet on solid flooring again.

"Morning, Dad," Hiccup said.

Stoick, seated at the table, didn't even look up from the papers he was reading. "You're late, Hiccup."

Hiccup blinked and frowned. "Uh…"

"You were supposed to be at the forge ten minutes ago," Stoick continued, still not looking at his son.

Hiccup didn't know how to respond to his father's words or icy voice. He exchanged a glance with Toothless, who looked just as befuddled as he was. Looking back at Stoick, he stammered, "I, uh…I'm sorry, Dad. I'm on my way now."

Stoick merely grunted. "Don't let it happen again."

Hiccup stood for a moment longer just staring at his father. Then he turned and headed out the door. "What in Odin's name was that all about?" he said once he was safely outside and out of Stoick's hearing. "I mean, I've been late before and he's never acted like that. And it's only ten minutes! It's not like I slept the morning away or anything…"

Toothless warbled a confused response and Hiccup sighed. "Well, better not waste any time I guess," he said, and they descended the hill into town.

As they neared the village square, Hiccup caught sight of a pair of familiar faces. He grinned. "Hey Mulch, hi Bucket. How are you doing?"

To his surprise, Mulch merely continued walking, not even glancing towards the boy who had greeted him. Bucket, predictably, smiled a bit absently (he did everything a bit absently, truth be told) and waved. He opened his mouth to speak, but Mulch whipped around and punched his companion on the shoulder. "Ow!" Bucket yelped. "Sorry!" And then the pair continued on without so much as a glance Hiccup's way.

Hiccup came to a stop and watched them depart. "What…?"

"Oi! Move along boy! You're blocking the path!"

Hiccup jumped, startled, and quickly scurried away from the shouting Viking as he barreled past with a heavily-laden cart, glaring at the teenager and muttering darkly under his breath. But before Hiccup could express his surprise, hurt, and confusion, another Viking shoved him roughly, and he stumbled, only narrowly avoiding another tumble in the dirt. "Get out of the way!" the offending woman snarled, looking at him as if he was something unpleasant she'd found on the bottom of her boot.

Hiccup was too stunned to move. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide. For a moment he wondered if he was still asleep and having a bizarre dream.

Toothless nudged him, bringing him back to reality, and they retreated across the square to the forge. "Ah, there you are!" Gobber the Belch said, glancing up from his work. "I was beginning to wonder."

"Sorry, Gobber," Hiccup replied, picking up his apron and tying it around his waist. "I overslept a little."

Gobber shrugged and grunted and said nothing more about it.

"Hey Gobber?" Hiccup asked, trying to sound unconcerned but not quite pulling it off. "Why is everyone so…um…upset?" It didn't seem like the right word to use but it was all he could think of.

"What do you mean?" Gobber asked, not looking at him. There was an air of forced lightness to his voice that made Hiccup suspicious.

"Well, Dad scolded me for being late, Mulch wouldn't look at me when I said hi, and I was told to get out of the way twice in thirty seconds," Hiccup recited. "What's up with everyone? Did I miss something?"

Gobber shrugged. "Eh, they're probably just tired."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on the lackluster answer. Instead he asked conversationally, "So what was the big meeting about last night? Dad wouldn't let me attend for some reason."

Gobber paused for maybe three seconds before answering smoothly, "Oh, we were planning Snotlout's party."

Hiccup frowned and wondered if he'd forgotten something…again. It would certainly explain why Stoick was so upset with him. Everyone else though… "Oh?" he inquired. "What's the occasion?"

Gobber laughed. "Why, celebrating his defeat of the Red Death, of course! What else?"

The hammer Hiccup had been wielding missed the sword he was working on and clanged loudly before falling from his grip and hitting the floor. He made no move to retrieve it, staring at Gobber in open-mouthed speechlessness. Gobber continued working as if unaware of how his words had thrown his young apprentice off-balance. "Snotlout's defeat of…Snotlout…I…what?" Hiccup finally managed to splutter.

Gobber nodded, inspecting the axe he had finished hammering. "Yeah. And about time, too. Been a year after all. What with incorporating the dragons into our daily lives and all there just hasn't been time to celebrate. It's tonight at sundown in the Great Hall. Everyone will be there to hail the hero."

Hiccup's knees threatened to buckle. His head spun. "Gobber," he said slowly, "I'm the one who defeated the Red Death, remember?"

Gobber finally turned to look at him, and he was laughing. "You?!" he gasped between great guffaws. "You? Defeater of the Red Death? Oh that's a funny one, Hiccup. Best joke you've ever told!"

Hiccup exchanged a bewildered glance with Toothless, who looked just as stunned and nonplussed as he did. "I'm not joking!" he finally managed to say. "How else would I have gotten this?" He gestured down at his metal leg.

"Uh, you tried to help out during the battle but fell off that dragon of yours," Gobber explained with the air of someone trying to convince a stubborn child that one and one made two. "Clumsy as ever."

"That's…not how I remember it," Hiccup retorted.

Gobber shrugged. "Well, I can't help it if you have an overactive imagination, lad."

Hiccup didn't know how to reply. His chest felt as though it was being squeezed by an unseen force, preventing him from drawing a full breath. Was this some kind of prank? Retaliation for some unremembered wrong he'd done? Was the whole village in on this?

His last question was answered almost at once. He heard a great cheer rise from the people in the square, and he looked out in time to see his cousin Snotlout strut into view, looking, if possible, even cockier than usual. "There he is!" someone cried.

"The Dragon Conqueror!"

"Defeater of the Red Death!"

"Hero of Berk!"

Hiccup watched in silence as Snotlout bowed haughtily to the adoring crowd, his expression sickeningly smug. He felt anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Snotlout? That idiot? Defeater of the Red Death? Were they serious?

Clearly they were. Throughout the day, whenever Snotlout appeared (did he always make this many public appearances or was he out and about more than usual today?) he was greeted with cheers and adulations. And whenever someone looked at Hiccup, there was undeniable disdain in their eyes, as if they were all silently asking him why he couldn't be more like their new hero. By the afternoon, Hiccup was making a concentrated effort to stay in the back of the shop as much as possible in order to avoid these accusing stares.

"Did I imagine it?" Hiccup wondered aloud after hearing yet another cheer go up for Snotlout. "Did I imagine defeating the Red Death?"

He looked over at Toothless, who was curled up in a corner, watching him. "No," he answered himself. "We did that. We defeated the Red Death, right bud?"

Toothless crooned and nodded.

"You shot a fireball into her mouth. It ignited the gas inside her. Destroyed her from the inside out."

The dragon nodded again.

"I didn't imagine it."

Toothless shook his head.

"It really happened."

Nod.

"We did that. Not Snotlout."

Nod.

Hiccup imitated his dragon's head motion. "Right. I thought so."

So why didn't anyone else remember it that way?

At sundown, Gobber closed up shop and led Hiccup and Toothless up to the Great Hall for the big party. Even though his metal leg pained him, the young Viking determinedly climbed the stairs on his own, refusing Toothless' help despite the difficulty. Naturally this meant the trek to the hall took longer than usual, with the result that he and his dragon were the last to arrive. The hall was packed with beefy (and rather smelly) Vikings all cheering and praising their new hero. None of them spared Hiccup a glance.

Hiccup led Toothless away from the crowd, leaning against a far wall and looking dispiritedly around at the gathering. There hadn't been a party for him when he'd woken up missing a leg. Not that he'd really wanted one: Hiccup wasn't a particularly social person. But still, the injustice of this bewildering turn of events stung, and he couldn't pretend otherwise.

He frowned as he observed Snotlout. His cousin looked so smug and pleased with himself that it made him feel nauseous to watch. He made a sound of disgust and looked away. His eyes fell on the row of portraits that hung on the wall of all the past chiefs and their sons. A small smile turned the corners of his mouth as he remembered posing with his father for Bucket, who, after an admittedly disastrous first attempt, had captured them admirably well. That was the day Hiccup felt sure that Stoick loved him and was proud of him, that he didn't need to be big and strong in order to win his father's affection. It was one of the best days of his…

His smile slipped from his face, leaving his jaw slack with shock, confusion, and pain. The second portrait, the one that he liked, the one that showed him for who he really was, was gone. In its place stood the awful original, the first painting Bucket had done, the one that portrayed him as big, beefy, and, well…Viking-ish. The one he had hated for all its implications that he wasn't a proper Viking…

"Hey Dad?"

Stoick, who had been talking animatedly with Gobber, looked around at his son's call. He didn't look pleased at the interruption but Hiccup pressed on. "What happened to the other portrait?"

Stoick's gaze flickered for a moment to the painting and he shrugged unconcernedly. "I got rid of it," he said carelessly.

Hiccup felt his insides turn to stone. "Wh-why?" he stammered.

"Because I like this one better," Stoick replied in a cool voice Hiccup had never heard him use before, at least not towards his own son. Hiccup didn't dare ask why his father's opinion had suddenly changed. He had the distinct feeling he wouldn't like the answer.

Apparently satisfied that the conversation was over, Stoick turned back to Gobber, leaving Hiccup to stare at the portrait in disbelief, a nameless feeling starting to churn and grow deep inside him. He couldn't quite place what it was yet but…

"Hey, Hiccup."

He whirled around and found himself face-to-face with Astrid. As they did whenever he saw his girlfriend, his spirits couldn't help but lift just a bit. He grinned at her, though he knew the expression didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey, Astrid. Look, I'm sorry about our plans for last night…"

Astrid waved him off. "Oh it's fine, Hiccup. Your dad explained it to me. We'll take a night flight some other time."

Hiccup breathed a sigh of relief.

"So," Astrid continued after a moment, "some party, huh?"

Hiccup snorted and glanced over at his cousin, who was striking a series of masculine poses that normally would have had everyone either rolling their eyes or gagging. Tonight, however, the crowd was going wild with delight.

"Yeah," he said bitterly. "Some party."

Astrid would have had to have been deaf to not pick up on Hiccup's displeasure. "What's wrong?" she asked, sounding concerned.

Hiccup sighed. "What's wrong?" he repeated exasperatedly. "What's right? Yesterday everything was normal, then I wake up this morning and suddenly everyone's saying that Snotlout defeated the Red Death and I'm suddenly the town screw-up again and no one will tell me what is going on or why! I'm…what's so funny?"

Astrid was laughing.

"Oh Hiccup," she said between chuckles. "Who do you think defeated the Red Death? Fishlegs?"

Hiccup felt his heart clench. He was a moment in replying. "Astrid, I defeated the Red Death! Toothless and I did that together! Don't you remember?"

Astrid was still chortling. "Oh Hiccup, you are good for a laugh, I'll give you that!"

Hiccup's legs threatened to buckle from underneath him. He leaned on Toothless for support, and the dragon warbled in worry. Hiccup didn't acknowledge him. No, not Astrid too…of all of the people on Berk, he had been certain he could count on her. He'd fully expected for her to tell him why everyone was suddenly so convinced Snotlout had brought peace to the island and not to worry about it because she knew the truth and would stand by him no matter what…but now…

His eyes hardened and he turned away. "Well I'm glad I'm good for something," he said sardonically.

As he wasn't looking at Astrid, he didn't see when her smile faded and a look of guilt and sadness flickered across her features. She pulled her grin back in place so quickly that, even if he had noticed it, he wouldn't have been certain he'd really seen the change at all.

But he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at the ugly portrait again, and that strange feeling was bubbling in the pit of his stomach once more. This time he knew what it was: anger. He suddenly realized what it was about the painting he hated so much: it made him look like Snotlout.

"Why now?" he suddenly demanded, still looking at the portrait. "It's been a year, and for that year everyone treated me like I was…like I was a part of them. Like I belonged. I fit in. Why has everyone suddenly turned on me? Why does everyone glare at me in the streets? Why do people look at me like I'm…like I'm a…"

He stiffened suddenly. He'd just realized what they were all treating him like.

"…like I'm a hiccup?"

He turned to look at Astrid again. She was gazing at him with a faint smile on her face, an expression that didn't look the least bit cheerful. "Well Hiccup…that's what you are." She shrugged. "No point in trying to pretend otherwise."

Hiccup was so stung by this that he didn't answer for a minute. He just gaped at Astrid, wondering if he had really heard those words come from her mouth. Astrid, the girl he trusted, the girl he _loved_, had just told him that he was a hiccup, a runt, a mistake. No, it wasn't possible…she couldn't have said such a thing, could she…?

Then cold realization hit him, and he barely contained his rage when he said, "Well you wouldn't want to be seen with a hiccup, now would you Astrid? That would totally ruin the image you've been trying to build for yourself."

Now it was Astrid's turn to look surprised. "What do you—"

"Why don't you go hang out with the _Hero of Berk_?" Hiccup interrupted, placing an unpleasant emphasis on the title. "Snotlout is a much better match for you than I am, obviously. He's got it all: title, respect, muscle, and the brain of a limpet. What a pair you two make."

He felt an odd combination of regret and savage satisfaction at the look of stunned disbelief plastered to Astrid's face. For a long moment she simply stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock.

Then she closed it with a scowl and said coldly, "You know, maybe you're right." And before he could say anything else – before he could see the tears starting to well in her eyes – she turned and stormed off.

Hiccup watched her march right up to Snotlout and whisper something in his ear, something that made him grin like a total idiot. She then took his hand in hers…and kissed him on the cheek.

Hiccup turned away, quite certain that his heart was breaking. Toothless crooned sadly, and Hiccup rested a hand on his head. "I should have known better," he managed to choke out. "I should have known it was too good to be true. No one in their right mind would choose a hiccup over a hero."

Toothless growled softly at his friend's self-deprecation, but Hiccup just shook his head. "Let's go home, bud. If I stay here I'll go insane."

But he wasn't going to get out of it so easily. As he made his way to the massive doors that separated him from freedom, he was intercepted by Stoick, who sternly ordered him to stay for the duration of the celebration, "as a proper show of respect for our hero." And of course the party went on till early the next morning, so Hiccup was forced to endure hours upon hours of utter torture, watching from the shadows as Snotlout was heaped with praises. The only attention he got all night was the occasional glare from a passing Viking. Poor Hiccup had never felt so alone, so hated, so…

"Out of the way, Useless!" someone barked as they bustled past, nearly pushing Hiccup to the floor.

Useless. The boy let out a hollow laugh. Hiccup the Useless. It was a name Snotlout had created for him when they were kids, once it was certain that he was going to turn out small and scrawny. It had hounded him for years, right up until the time he had killed the Red Death. And now…now it seemed it had come back with a vengeance.

The sky was starting to lighten by the time Hiccup finally collapsed into bed. Waking up a mere two hours later, he hoped and prayed that the previous day had just been a terrible nightmare, that today everything would be back to normal. This hope was dashed the moment he descended the stairs, as his father was waiting for him, looking distinctly peeved. "Get on with it, you lazy boy!" he barked. "Did you plan on sleeping the whole day? You have work to do! Now get going!"

Hiccup didn't bother to correct Stoick. Really, what would have been the point?

**A/N: And so it begins…**


	3. Chapter 3: Betrayal

**A/N: Another big thank you for all the reviews! 29 for only two chapters?! I'm…I'm speechless…thank you all so much! **

**To loneranger1701, I've considered both of your suggestions carefully, and I've come to agree with your first point. Thankfully that's an easy enough fix to make, so you'll see it next chapter. As for your second point, I suppose I understand where you're coming from, and it certainly does fit Fishlegs' character to say that, but…I think the story is stronger if Hiccup ends up totally and completely alone, especially considering what I'm planning to do with the continuation. (Besides, I'm far too lazy to try changing things around now. XD) But thank you for your input!**

**To Animal Lover, thank you for your reviews! I'm glad you're excited about the story. And yes, "Time to Go" is another inspiration for this, to some extent. For some reason I love stories that put Hiccup through a lot of emotional pain. I don't know what that says about me, but…eh… As for your request for two chapters a night…I'm afraid I can't quite manage that. True, the first eight chapters are already complete, but I've gotten no further and am currently dealing with a touch of writer's block. So I really don't know how long it will be before I can continue writing the story. I've been spacing out the chapters a bit to buy me some time, so hopefully there won't be a huge delay after posting Chapter 8. **

**On with the show! **

Chapter Three

Betrayal

Even though he was expecting it this time, seeing all the villagers glaring at him and muttering under their breath was no easier today than it had been the day before. If anything, it was worse. The confusion and bewilderment were wearing off, and hurt and betrayal were taking their place. Toothless stood faithfully by his side, growling at anyone who got too close to his human, but he was incapable of fully lifting the boy's spirits.

There was one bright spot on the horizon, however. Hiccup was going to the Dragon Training Academy that afternoon to teach another class. If there was anything that could ease the pain he was suddenly being subjected to, it was being on the back of a dragon, teaching his friends how to strengthen their bonds with their reptile companions. Sure, the thought of facing Astrid and Snotlout had his stomach doing backflips, but there was still Fishlegs and the twins. Perhaps Ruffnut and Tuffnut were a bit too crazy for his liking sometimes, but they were dependable, and Fishlegs had become a rather close friend after the integration of dragons into their lives. So with a slightly lighter heart, Hiccup flew Toothless over to the arena after lunch, prepared to spend his afternoon doing something he was good at, something he loved…

But his smile abruptly vanished when he entered the ring. The others were already there, and they were all staring at him like he was a five-year-old kid sibling constantly getting in the way. "What are you doing here?" Fishlegs sneered at him.

"I…I…" Hiccup cleared his throat. "I'm here to teach you all about…"

His chosen topic was drowned out by laughter.

"You? Teach _us_?" Fishlegs laughed. "Oh please! Get out of here, Hiccup. _I'm _teaching this class, and I'm not going to waste my time with you. Go somewhere you're wanted, Useless."

Hiccup just stared at him. Fishlegs had never spoken to him like that. He had always been at least cordial. Even before they had become friends he had been polite to Hiccup, if a little distant. He would have expected this kind of reception from Snotlout, but Fishlegs…?

His gaze roved over the faces of the other teens. None of them looked like they were going to come to his defense. Ruff and Tuff were still laughing at Hiccup's delusions of teaching. Snotlout, predictably, was puffing himself up to make himself look more impressive and intimidating. Astrid, however, wasn't even looking at him. She had her back to him, focusing her attention entirely on her dragon Stormfly. She hadn't looked at him once since the moment he'd walked in. It was perhaps this that made Hiccup blurt out, "What did I ever do to you? Any of you? Will someone please explain what it is I've done to make everyone hate me so much?"

No one answered him. Fishlegs waved him away like he was an annoying fly before turning to the others and beginning his lesson as if he'd never been interrupted.

And Astrid never once looked his way.

…

Days turned into weeks, and each hour felt like a lifetime to Hiccup. He went about his days with his head bowed and eyes downcast. He rarely talked and smiled even less. After all there wasn't much to talk or smile about. He'd gone from being beloved and respected to hated and despised, and he still had no idea why. The only beings capable of bringing a spark of life to his eyes were Toothless, who stayed by his human's side unfailingly, and Gobber. The blacksmith was the only human who hadn't turned his back on the boy. He still insisted that Snotlout had defeated the Red Death, but he at least treated Hiccup like he was a human being. And given everything else he was facing, Hiccup felt fortunate for that small favor.

One morning, a month after his sudden fall from grace, Hiccup found himself once again in the market, picking up items for Stoick. Every merchant he talked to looked down at him like he was a common slave. Noses wrinkled, eyes like stone, lips firmly set into straight lines void of all warmth. Hiccup made his purchases with as few words as possible, keeping his head and voice low, wishing the whole time that he could simply vanish.

As he turned away from the apple cart, his prosthetic snagged a loose stone, and he toppled like a felled tree. A chorus of laughter rang out around him as every Viking in the square turned to point and make jokes. "What a show, Useless!" one of them cried. "It takes real talent to trip like that!" No one reached out to help him to his feet this time except Toothless, who whined at the sight of his human looking so dejected and forlorn.

"Thanks, Toothless," Hiccup murmured, placing a hand on his dragon's forehead. "Come on. Let's drop this stuff off at the house and get to the forge before Dad thinks I'm shirking my responsibilities again."

He rode Toothless up to the house instead of climbing the hill himself this time. He set the bags of purchased goods on the kitchen table, not looking at Stoick, knowing that all he'd see was disappointment in his father's eyes. Without a word he departed again, not seeing that Stoick was watching him, not in disappointment, but in sadness. "Hiccup…" he sighed. "Hang in there."

Hiccup mounted Toothless again and the two friends rode to the forge, the boy keeping his gaze down to avoid the stares of the other Vikings. Toothless wasn't nearly as shy: he growled and snapped at anyone who so much as looked at his human the wrong way. Hiccup couldn't help but smile weakly and patted his friend, silently thanking him. Toothless crooned.

When they reached the forge, Gobber looked up and waved with his hook. "There you are!" he called jovially.

"Sorry," Hiccup said, dismounting his dragon and heading over to where his apron hung. "Dad sent me to get some stuff from the market."

"Eh, don't trouble yourself over it," Gobber replied with an airy shrug. "I figured you had a good reason."

The words were simple, but they filled Hiccup with…perhaps not joy, but a sense of peace that he had been missing for a month now. It was nice to have someone trust him implicitly like that. He paused in the middle of pulling his apron on.

"Hey, Gobber?"

"Mm?" Gobber replied, barely glancing up from his work.

"Thanks. For…well…for not turning against me."

Gobber paused in his hammering and looked at Hiccup properly. "Eh?"

Hiccup tied the apron and sighed. "Everyone else on Berk has started treating me like I'm not even human, just because I…I'm not big and strong like the other Vikings. Dad hasn't smiled at me in a month. My…my _friends_…" He had to force the word out. "…think I'm not worth their time. A-Astrid would rather be with the hero Snotlout than with me. And the other villagers just think I get in the way. I'm Hiccup the Useless now, did you know that? That's what everyone calls me. Everyone except you. You're the only one who still treats me the same as before, and…well…thanks."

Gobber gazed at him with an odd expression on his face. Pity? Then he shrugged and said, "Don't mention it, lad," and returned to his work. Smiling faintly, Hiccup picked up a sword and set to work.

A few minutes later, a burly Viking stepped up to the counter and started talking to Gobber. Hiccup didn't pay them any mind until the blacksmith called, "Hiccup, would you go into the back and fetch my spare hammer?"

Hiccup frowned. There were several hammers lying about the shop. Why did Gobber need another? But it wasn't his job to question his boss, so he nodded and said, "Be right back."

Passing a snoozing Toothless, he stepped into the back room, which he had unofficially commandeered several years ago as his inventing room. It was here that the Mangler that had shot down Toothless had been born. But it was still technically Gobber's shop, so naturally there were tools and materials strewn about amid Hiccup's papers and designs.

As he rummaged about, he heard the Viking at the counter exclaim, "Did Useless make this?! Great Thor Almighty, it's terrible!"

Hiccup flinched. One month was not enough time to make him immune to insults, and he had always prided himself on his attention to detail, especially in his blacksmithing. He hoped Gobber would come to his defense. Thor knew he needed someone to defend him besides a dragon that couldn't speak Norse…

"Yeah I know," Gobber sighed. "I'd hoped that he'd be better by now, but the lad's utterly hopeless. Worst blacksmith in the history of Berk! I just don't have the heart to tell him…"

There was a loud clang. It took Hiccup several moments to realize it had come from the hammer that had slipped from his slackened fingers. No. Not Gobber too. Not when he'd thought there was actually someone on Berk who cared…

Hiccup suddenly stiffened. This was too much. He had just bared his soul to Gobber and this was how he was repaid? Fists clenched at his sides, he turned on his heel and stepped back into the main shop. Gobber looked up at his reentrance and raised his eyebrows, but before he could speak, Hiccup snarled, "Worst blacksmith in the history of Berk?!"

Gobber blinked and said nothing.

"I trusted you!" Hiccup cried, unable to stop his voice from shaking. "I thought you were different! I thought you…I thought you actually cared…I…" He yanked the apron off and flung it aside. He was close to tears. He had to get out of here before they started to flow. He couldn't be seen crying…it would only make the others believe in his weakness more than they already did…

"I quit!"

And without another word, he woke Toothless and fled the shop, the confused Night Fury bounding along behind him.

"Hiccup!" Gobber called, but the Viking at the counter put a hand on his shoulder.

"It can't be helped, Gobber," he said sadly. "We have to do this. You know that."

Gobber shook his head and said nothing in reply.

…

If Hiccup thought things couldn't possibly get worse, he was quickly proved wrong. When he headed downstairs the next morning, the first words out of Stoick's mouth were, "You have a new job."

Hiccup paused with one foot dangling over the bottommost step, staring blankly at his father. "I…what?"

"Since you quit working at the forge…" The tone of Stoick's voice made his opinion on that particular decision quite clear. "…I have found you a new job. You will go into the forest and help the men chop down trees for firewood. You'd better get going. They're expecting you."

Hiccup felt his stomach drop. Chopping down trees? Him? This couldn't end well. But he knew arguing would only make his father angry, so he sighed and said, "Okay," in a small voice that Stoick almost didn't hear. He continued his descent down the stairs and headed to the door, Toothless on his heels. At least with his friend there, the job would be bearable…

As if reading his thoughts, Stoick called out, "And the dragon stays here."

Hiccup whirled around. "What? But Dad—"

"No buts," Stoick growled. His eyes were cold. "The dragon stays here. Now get a move on."

Hiccup gazed miserably at his father for a moment, praying he'd change his mind. When he didn't, he turned to Toothless, his heart clenching as he said, "You have to stay, bud. I'll see you later."

Toothless warbled in confusion and tried to follow Hiccup out the door, but his human held up a hand and said, "No, Toothless. Stay." There was no conviction in his voice. The dragon knew the boy wanted him by his side. But Hiccup turned away, closing the door between them and trying to ignore the anguished roar he heard from within the house.

His worst fears were confirmed when he joined the other men in the forest. This new job was a nightmare. He wasn't strong enough to properly wield an axe, which made hitting his mark all but impossible. He was out of breath after only a few swings, but whenever he paused to recover someone would bark out orders for him to keep working. He heard the words "lazy," "pathetic," "worthless," "weak," and of course "useless" thrown at him like rocks all throughout the day. He wasn't given a lunch break, forced to work on while the others took their time enjoying their midday meal. By the afternoon his stomach was growling loudly but he didn't stop, working on and on until the sun began its downward descent toward the sea. Only then was he allowed to put down his axe and trudge home, tired, hungry, and dreading the dawn when he'd have to come back and do it all over again.

Toothless almost bowled him over when he opened the door of his house, and despite his misery Hiccup couldn't quite suppress a smile. "I'm glad to see you too, bud," he said, resting his hand on the dragon's nose.

He satisfied his hunger with a supper of fish and bread before dragging himself up the stairs. Toothless rumbled questioningly. "No, bud. No flying tonight. Too tired," Hiccup said around a huge yawn. Toothless grumbled quietly but didn't fight it. Instead, he helped his human up to bed, resting his head atop Hiccup's stomach as he lay down. Hiccup chuckled weakly and whispered, "Thanks, Toothless," before falling asleep mere seconds later.

The second day was no better than the first, nor was the third or fourth. Weeks passed and still Hiccup slaved on in the forests. He had hoped that things would improve with time, but if anything they were getting worse. He was still fumbling with the axe and unable to swing it with enough force to properly cut down anything. Instead of helping out, the other workers piled more work on him, choosing to stand back and watch him struggle rather than lift a finger to help. Every day Hiccup came home weak, exhausted, with legs trembling and threatening to give out from underneath him. He went without food for most of the day, only able to eat a quick breakfast before work and a meager supper when he returned in the evening. Worst of all, his flights with Toothless came to a complete stop. There was no time during the day, and at night he was simply too tired. Toothless was getting restless with being grounded but sensed that his human's needs were greater than his own. The Night Fury was always there for Hiccup, waiting for him at the door every night, accompanying him up to bed and lying down with his head resting within arm's reach of his sleeping companion.

One night, about a month after starting his new job, Hiccup came home a little earlier than usual. He hadn't slept well the previous night, and after dropping his axe no less than forty-two times, the boss had sent him away. Hiccup wasn't complaining. He had plans for that extra time. "Come on, bud," he said in between hurried mouthfuls of bread. "We're going flying."

Toothless could barely hold himself still while Hiccup saddled him up, and the moment his human was atop his back he launched into the air. Depressed and exhausted though he was, Hiccup couldn't help but cry out in delight as his hair whipped back and the wind stung his face. Oh how he had missed this! This feeling of freedom that came with flying. For the first time in forever, he was able to convince himself that he was free from everything that had been holding him down for so long. Up here in the sky, nothing could touch him. No one could glare at him or drop hints about his uselessness. It was just him and Toothless. No one else.

Hiccup sighed as Toothless leveled off and began to soar over the island. He didn't feel up to trying anything too daring – he was extremely tired, after all – but a simple relaxing flight was just as good. It gave him a chance to think about everything that had happened over the last two months.

"I just don't get it," he said after a moment. "One moment everything's great and the next I'm pushed aside like a smelly boot. Why? I mean, if they want to hail Snotlout as a hero, that's fine by me. But why after all this time? And why do they have to treat me like I'm not even human? And it's only getting worse…" He considered it for a minute. "Were they all pretending to like me? Why would they do that?" After a moment's thought he continued, "They used me, didn't they? They used me to defeat the Red Death and then tossed me out like garbage. All because I'm not a proper Viking. It looks better to say Snotlout killed the Red Death instead of the village screw-up…"

Toothless warbled sadly, and Hiccup patted him on the head with a faint smile. "Thanks, Toothless," he murmured. "Thanks for always being there for me. You're the only one who never pretended."

Toothless crooned, and Hiccup sighed again, leaning back. "I wish I didn't have to go back. I wish we could just leave, you and me. Just the two of us…" He suddenly straightened, his brain whirring. "You know…why not? There's certainly nothing keeping me on Berk. No one would care if I disappeared, they've all made that crystal clear. Yeah!" He was starting to get excited. "Come on, bud. Let's go back home. I'll pack up and once everyone's asleep we'll take off and never come back!"

Toothless rumbled happily and angled back toward Berk. Hiccup could hardly contain his sudden enthusiasm. For the first time in months, he had something to be happy about.

…

"I really don't think this is a good idea…"

"I have to do it. You know I do. It's the only way to make it all complete."

"You'll destroy him if you do this. He'll never forgive you."

"He will…eventually. He'll understand that it was necessary. It will be hard, I know, and I certainly don't want to do it, but it must be done."

"No. It's going too far."

"I have to protect him! We've been over this! This is the only way!"

"There's protecting him, and then there's utterly destroying him. I'm afraid what you're about to do will cause too much damage, damage that can't be repaired."

"I…have considered that, and it's a risk I feel I must take. I knew from the start that this would be hard on all of us, and on him most of all. But I will stop at nothing to keep him from harm."

"…Well, I guess I can only hope you're right. If you're wrong…gods help that poor boy…"


	4. Chapter 4: Breaking Point

**A/N: Wow…this story officially has more faves and follows than any other story I've posted here, and it has the second highest number of reviews. You guys are amazing! Thank you so much! I'll do my best not to let you down. **

**Also, I realized this morning that I accidentally posted the unedited versions of the previous three chapters. So I've gone back and fixed them up. Nothing much was changed, except the timeline was pushed back from four months after the first film to six months. All other changes were purely grammatical. But I thought I'd let you know anyway. **

**One last thing, this is the chapter that has the self-harm. So if that's a trigger for anyone, be aware of it. **

Chapter Four

Breaking Point

Hiccup landed Toothless and led him up to the front door of his house. "It won't take long for me to pack, bud," he whispered. "Then we just have to wait till everyone's asleep, and that shouldn't be too…uh, Dad? What's…what's going on?"

Hiccup had opened the door to find his father standing in front of the fire, accompanied by Gobber, his uncle Spitelout, and four other big, burly Vikings. None of them were smiling.

"Hiccup," Stoick said tonelessly. "There you are. Where have you been?"

"Uh…" Hiccup glanced at his dragon worriedly. "We went for a flight."

Stoick sighed. "I see. Come here."

Hiccup hesitated for just a moment before stepping toward his father, his unease written plainly on his face. "Is…is everything…ow!" Stoick grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him toward the stairs. "Dad, what's going on?! What're you doing?!"

Stoick didn't answer him. Instead he called back to the others, "Take the dragon away."

Hiccup suddenly couldn't breathe. "W-what?!" he yelped. "No! No, not Toothless!"

The other Vikings all closed in around the Night Fury, who crouched and snarled threateningly, but he was outnumbered. In no time, he was restrained and being forced from the house, roaring at the top of his lungs.

"Toothless!" Hiccup yelled. "No! Dad, you can't do this!"

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" Stoick snarled, pulling his son up the stairs. "The dragon is being taken to your cousin Snotlout. He's his dragon now."

"No…oh gods no!" Hiccup pulled as hard as he could but Stoick's grip on his arm was like a vice and he couldn't free himself. "Please Dad, don't take Toothless! I can't lose him! He's all I've got! Please Dad, I'm begging you! If you've ever cared for me at all, the way a father cares for his son, then please, please don't take Toothless away from me!"

Stoick gazed down at him, and for one moment Hiccup thought he would recant his decision. Then he said, "You have done nothing to earn that dragon. Snotlout is far more deserving than you are, and if you don't get your act together he will be taking your place as my heir. Think long and hard about that one, Hiccup."

And with that, he shoved Hiccup into his room, slamming the door shut behind him, hoping his son hadn't noticed the look of pain in his own eyes.

Hiccup stood motionless for several moments, staring blankly at the door, his pulse pounding in his head. The shock and horror of the situation left him paralyzed. It couldn't have happened…it wasn't possible…

Then he screamed and launched himself at the door. It wouldn't budge: Stoick had barred it from the other side. He rained his fists on the wood, pounding and yelling his dragon's name at the top of his lungs. When it became clear that he wasn't getting out that way, he turned to the hole in the roof he'd cut long ago so that Toothless could come and go as he pleased, only to find that it had been boarded over. His room was now his prison, and Toothless was gone.

"No…no…no…" Hiccup ran his hands through his hair, desperately searching for a way out and finding none. "Gods, please don't let it be true…not Toothless…not him…please… please don't take him away from me…please…please…"

The gods weren't listening to him.

He collapsed on his bed and curled up in a ball, murmuring, "No…please…please…" as sobs started to wrack his body. Tears pooled up and spilled from his eyes and he made no effort to stem their flow. A giant hand had just torn into his chest, leaving a Toothless-sized hole in its wake. With his dragon he had been able to deal with his rejection, never quite happy but able to exist. But without him…what was he supposed to do?

Hiccup's sobs continued long into the night. It was almost dawn before he finally cried himself to sleep. And when he awoke, he was changed. Stoick noticed it at once when his son came downstairs in the morning. Ever since the day of Snotlout's party, Hiccup had become more distant, retreating into himself and making eye contact as seldom as possible. But he had always seemed…well, alive. Now…now his body moved as if controlled by puppet strings. He kept his head bowed and eyes on the ground. His back was slightly hunched and his arms were folded across his chest. "Hiccup," Stoick said, "get to the forest. You're going to be…"

He trailed off as Hiccup glanced up at him. It was only for a moment, not even a full second, but when their eyes met Stoick felt a chill go down his spine. The light he'd always seen in his son's eyes had been extinguished. He was little more than a walking corpse.

He didn't say anything. He didn't even acknowledge that his father had spoken. He merely walked to the door and stepped out into the cloudy, overcast day. Stoick stared after him for a long time, wondering if perhaps he had taken things too far after all…

Hiccup didn't say a word throughout the entire day. He picked up his axe when he joined the other men in the forest and began chopping as best he could. He was still clumsy and his accuracy was deplorable, but no one made any snide comments today. Perhaps they saw the same lifelessness in him that Stoick had.

He came out of his stupor only once. Around midday the telltale screech of a Night Fury tore the air, and he looked up sharply, turning his head toward town. He'd recognize that sound anywhere: Toothless was angry. Angry, and calling for his human. The sound faded away after a moment, but Hiccup continued to stare in the direction of the village, his eyes shiny and threatening tears. He returned to his work before anyone could tell him he was being lazy, and everyone present was downright alarmed by how violently Hiccup attacked the tree before him, felling it faster than any he'd chopped before. It was this uncharacteristic show of aggression that persuaded the boss to let him off early. Hiccup didn't speak when he was released, not to thank his superior or to inquire the reason behind his dismissal. He merely swung his axe into the nearest available stump and walked away.

He didn't pause on his walk home until he reached the base of the hill his house sat on. He'd been forced to climb it alone for a month now, but it hadn't gotten easier. If anything, his exhaustion from weeks of hard labor made each day's return harder than the last. About a third of the way up, his prosthetic snagged a tangle of grass and he went down hard. He made no move to pull himself up immediately, choosing instead to simply lie there, taking deep ragged breaths that could have been mistaken for sobs.

He was alone. And he couldn't stand it.

"I can't," he gasped aloud. He didn't know who he was speaking to. Maybe it was to the gods that seemed to have abandoned him. "I can't do it…I'm so tired…no more…no more…"

With tremendous effort he forced himself to his feet and finished the climb, panting heavily by the time he opened the door. Stoick was seated at the fire, talking to Gobber. They both looked up in surprise at his entrance. "Hiccup," Gobber said, standing. "Didn't expect you back so soon. Done early?"

Hiccup didn't answer. He didn't even look at the man he had once trusted, the man he had once seen as a kind of uncle. He merely turned to the stairs and began to climb to his room.

"Supper will be ready soon!" Stoick called up after him. The only answer he got was the sound of a door slamming shut.

Once out of sight of the two Vikings, Hiccup allowed his façade to crumble. He fell heavily onto his bed and started to cry into his hands, his shoulders shaking, loud sobs escaping from between his fingers. He tried to muffle the noise, but the sounds carried down to the men below, and they looked sadly at each other.

"Don't look at me like that," Stoick said after a moment. "You know I had to."

Gobber shook his head but didn't reply.

Hiccup's tears slowed after a few minutes, his vision clearing enough for him to grab his sketchbook from his bedside table. Opening to a blank page, he gripped a charcoal pencil in his left hand and started to scribble.

_Hiccup the Useless_, he wrote in big letters across the top of the page. Then underneath that he listed off, _Worthless. Mistake. Unwanted. Unloved. Weak. Wimp. Screw-up. Worst Viking in the history of Vikings. _

He paused, gazing blankly down at the paper. He wasn't sure why he was doing this. Release? He tore the page out and started on the next:

_They all hate me. _

_Dad – not the perfect son. Not a perfect Viking. I'm a disappointment. _

_Astrid – too weak. Not a hero. Deserves someone better than me. _

_Fishlegs, Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut – not strong enough, not smart enough, don't fit in. Never have, never will. I don't belong. _

_Gobber – worst blacksmith Berk's ever known. _

_Toothless _

He stopped, his hand shaking and eyes threatening to spill again. He took a deep breath and continued writing.

_Toothless – taken from me for my incompetence. For my failure. For being useless. _

There was that word again. Seeing it in print made fury boil up within him. He tore this page out and scrawled in big letters on a third page: _I'm hated because I'm ME! _

He'd been wrong to try finding release with this. He certainly didn't feel any better. With a wordless cry of mingled pain and rage he snapped the sketchbook shut and hurled it across the room. It landed on his worktable, knocking something long, thin, and shiny to the floor.

His dagger.

He stared at it for a moment, his expression suddenly blank, almost thoughtful. He stood up and walked over to it, bending down to take the blade into his hand. Straightening, he stared at the little weapon. Small, like him. Tiny, easy to overlook, yet still capable of great harm.

He returned to his bed and sat down on it, his eyes never leaving the knife. The blade was sharp, he knew that. He was always careful to keep his tools in prime condition.

_Why not? _

Who would miss him? Certainly not his father, or Astrid, or his friends, or Gobber, or anyone else in the village. Heck, they'd probably all throw a huge party once he was out of their way for good. The only one who would grieve was Toothless, but he had a new master now.

Without consciously making a decision to do so, he took the knife in his left hand and pressed it to his right wrist, creasing the skin. One slash, that's all it would take. It would be easy. One quick slash and he'd feel no more pain. No more being looked upon as a disappointment, a nuisance…

He gasped and drew the knife back, his hands shaking. No, this was stupid, he shouldn't even be considering it. It was the ultimate act of cowardice to take one's own life, he knew that.

_Coward. Just one more word to add to the list_, a nasty voice in his head whispered. _Really, what's one more name? How could they possibly think any less of you than they already do? Besides, you won't have to deal with their criticisms about your cowardice. You'll be in a better place. _

_You'll be with Mom. _

He inhaled sharply at that thought and slowly pressed the blade against his skin once more. His heart hammered in his chest and his lungs seemed incapable of drawing a complete breath. He could do it. It would be easy. No more pain, no more heartbreak, no more…no more being a hiccup. He'd be able to see his mother again, the one person he was sure would have loved him no matter what.

He hesitated for just a second longer.

Then he grunted and drew the blade swiftly across his wrist.

The knife fell to the floor with a clatter as blood spurted upward from the gash he'd made. Almost at once he started to feel dizzy, though maybe that was a result of seeing so much blood rather than its actual loss. He reached up with his left hand and doused his fingers, gazing down at the crimson fluid in almost detached fascination. This was his lifesource, his essence, a part of who he was.

_I am Hiccup_… he thought, and without thinking he wrote the name HICCUP in his own blood on the bedsheets beside him.

_I am Hiccup the Useless_…

Under his name he wrote USELESS, having to press his fingers to his wound again for enough blood to finish the word. His vision was starting to blur, and his heart gave a bound. He only had a few minutes left now.

_I am Hiccup the Useless, and I'm sorry… _

He wrote SORRY on the sheets.

…_I'm sorry I couldn't be the Viking you all wanted me to be… _

The Y of SORRY came out lopsided as he fell back onto his bed. He felt heavy and dull, lethargic, without the strength to hold himself up any longer. He couldn't see much anymore: just a vague distorted mass that must have been the rafters of his house. They were the last things he'd ever see and for some reason this knowledge didn't bother him.

_What do you know? _he thought dimly as the world around him faded to black. _I finally managed to do something right. _

And then the darkness claimed him.

…

"I'm going to tell him," Stoick said aloud as he climbed the stairs to Hiccup's room. "He's hurting too much now. I have to tell him."

He knocked on his son's bedroom door. "Hiccup? Dinner's ready."

There was no answer from within. Stoick knocked again. "Hiccup? Son, come out here. You need to eat. And…we need to talk."

Still nothing. Frowning, Stoick pushed the door open and peered inside.

Hiccup was lying back on his bed, his skin alarmingly pale. Blood was pooled around him, dripping steadily onto the floor. Eyes widening, Stoick saw that its source was a mangled gash on Hiccup's right wrist.

There was a beat. Then Stoick bellowed, "HICCUP!" and charged over to the bed, bending down and cradling his son in his arms. Hiccup's body was limp and unresponsive. His face was blank, his eyes closed peacefully. He could have been sleeping. Could have been…

"Oh gods…oh gods no…" Stoick moaned. He pressed an ear to Hiccup's chest. There was a faint, sluggish _tha-thump_, _tha-thump_, and he exhaled in momentary relief. He was alive…for now…

"GOBBER!" Stoick screamed, and the blacksmith came charging up the stairs.

"Holy Mother of Thor!" he exclaimed on seeing Hiccup. And all the blood.

"Get Gothi!" Stoick ordered in a tone that allowed for no argument. Not that Gobber would have argued anyway. "He's still alive, but barely. Tell her that he's…" His voice broke. "…he's slashed his wrist. Get her over here now! GO!"

Gobber took off without another word. Stoick heard him yelling for the healer the moment he was outside and knew that the whole village would soon know about all this. But at that moment he didn't care.

"Oh Hiccup," he moaned, holding his son's limp form close, clamping a hand down on his injured wrist in an attempt to stem the blood flow. "Stay with me, son. Please, please don't leave me. You're going to be all right. Everything's going to be all right." Tears started to spill into his great beard but he made no move to wipe them away.

Then his eyes fell on the three words written on the sheets in his son's blood. His heart stuttered.

"Oh gods…what have I done?"


	5. Chapter 5: Revelation

**A/N: Wow, what a response from you all. Thanks again for the reviews! I may not reply to them all, but know that I appreciate each and every one of them! **

**Well, here's what you've been waiting for. It's time for Hiccup to finally learn why he's been put through so much torture. I hope you enjoy it! **

**Also, foul language warning. In case that upsets anyone. **

Chapter Five

Revelation

"When will he wake up?"

"Hard to say. He lost a lot of blood."

"But he'll be okay, right?"

"Aye, he will. He'll be weak and dizzy for a few days, but Gothi says he'll pull through."

"He's a fighter. He's strong. He survived losing a leg, he can survive this. He will."

"I hope you're right. Gods, I hope you're right."

The words made sense, but Hiccup found it impossible to put them into context as he lay there, slowly rising from unconsciousness. His head felt heavy, as if someone had removed his brain and replaced it with metal from the forge. His arms and legs didn't seem to want to move, either. It seemed easiest to simply lie here in this bed and go back to sleep, except that there was something niggling in the back of his mind, something he couldn't quite remember.

And of course, he could hardly sleep with all those voices speaking around him. Seriously, was the whole village crammed into his bedroom?

"I did this." Hiccup recognized the voice as his father's. "I pushed him too far. You were right, all of you. I should never have gone through with it."

"We're all to blame, Stoick," came Gobber's voice, low and soothing. "We all had a hand in this."

"But it was my idea," Stoick countered. "I'm the chief, the responsibility for this lies with me and me alone." He sighed. "What kind of father does this to his own son?"

"You were only doing what you thought was best," Gobber replied. "No one's perfect, Stoick."

Stoick snorted. "There's being imperfect, and then there's driving your own son to try killing himself."

Something about these words seemed to bring Hiccup's mind back to life, though he still couldn't quite recall what had occurred to make him feel so lethargic. Something had happened to him…something bad…

There was a low crooning sound from his left, and as if waiting for this cue, Hiccup forced his eyes open. "T-Toothless?" he croaked, looking around.

The black dragon warbled in relief and licked his human's face. Hiccup grimaced but let out a weak chuckle. "Happy to see you too, bud."

He reached up to pat the Night Fury's head, but his hands still felt heavy and clumsy. He looked down at them, and out of the corner of his eye noticed the others. He froze, his eyes widening in confusion. There were people in his bedroom. Stoick was sitting in a chair near his pillow. Gobber stood just behind him. Hiccup's eyes scanned the crowd. Astrid was there. So was Fishlegs, Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut. His uncle Spitelout. The healer Gothi. Mulch and Bucket. And even though he couldn't see them, he could sense that there were more people on the stairs leading up to his room. And they were all looking at him in a strange mixture of guilt, apprehension, and relief.

Remembering the voices he'd heard in his half-conscious state, he thought, _Wow, the whole village really _is _here…_

"D-Dad?" he stammered, sitting up. "What…ooh…" His vision blurred and the room spun as he moved. He clenched his eyes shut, thinking he might be sick, and clutched his forehead with one hand. His right hand.

"Easy, son," Stoick whispered, gently pushing him back into the bed. "Just take it easy. You've had a rough night."

"What are you…"

He fell silent. He had opened his eyes with his hand still clamped to his forehead, and his gaze had fallen on the thick layers of bandages that were wrapped around his wrist. He drew his hand back and blinked, nonplussed. When had he injured his wrist?

And then everything came flooding back: the rejection, the taunts, the hurt, losing Toothless, deciding to end it all…

His face broke, and his raised his hands to cover his eyes as they started to fill with tears. "Oh gods…" he gasped. "Oh gods I really _am _useless!"

"Hiccup," Stoick sighed, looking utterly lost.

"I couldn't even kill myself properly!" Hiccup moaned, his voice shaking. "Hiccup the Useless, the only Viking who can't kill anything, even himself!"

Stoick felt his heart break again. "Hiccup, you are not useless," he said firmly.

Hiccup turned away, rolling over onto his side, facing Toothless. The dragon rumbled in concern, clueless as to how to make his human feel better. "Why couldn't you just let me die?" he asked, his voice muffled by his hands. "Why? It would have been better for everyone. I'd have been out of your way. No one would have had to deal with me anymore…"

"Hiccup, you're my son!" Stoick cried. "I couldn't let you go! I need you, son. We all do."

Hiccup paused and turned his head, looking back at his father in confusion. "W-what?"

"Hiccup, nothing that's happened over the past two months has been real," Stoick said quickly, apparently hoping that confessing as rapidly as possible would make it easier. "You're not useless, son. You are the Dragon Trainer, the conqueror of the Red Death, the hero of Berk, the pride of the Haddock family." He reached out and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "You are my son, Hiccup. And…I love you. So much."

Hiccup stared at him, bewildered. After two months of disappointed glares and scolding, this sudden switch was more than he could handle. "I…I don't…what…"

Stoick sighed. "In a few days, we will be receiving a visit from Chief Mogadon of the Meathead Tribe. In his letter he expressed great interest in meeting our fabled Dragon Conqueror." He looked significantly down at Hiccup, who merely blinked and stayed silent. "Mogadon is…a collector of sorts. He likes to collect rare and exotic items, anything that is one-of-a-kind or unusual. When he mentioned meeting the Dragon Conqueror, I read between the lines. He would love to take you and add you to his collection, son.

"I couldn't let it happen. I was afraid. So I came up with a plan and called a meeting one night – that meeting you weren't allowed to attend – to tell everyone. The plan was that we would pretend Snotlout was the Dragon Conqueror. Hiccup, my boy, you're just so small and skinny that I feared you wouldn't last in battle if it came to that. Snotlout is bigger and stronger and looks more intimidating, and he could probably hold his own in a fight with Mogadon if necessary. I hoped that, by pretending Snotlout was the hero, Mogadon would be persuaded to not attempt anything, but even if he tried to take him, Snotlout would be able to protect himself.

"So we had to pretend that Snotlout defeated the Red Death and then make you appear as insignificant as possible so as not to attract Mogadon's attention. And I'm sorry to say that it meant we had to hurt you. We had to make you look and feel like a, well…" He broke eye contact with his son for a moment. "…a hiccup."

There was a long silence. Hiccup stared up at his father, his face blank and expressionless. There was a war waging in his eyes, though, the emotions flicking in and out so much that it was impossible for Stoick to see what he was feeling.

After a moment Hiccup croaked out, "Why…why didn't you just tell me? I…I wouldn't have minded pretending…"

Stoick shook his head. "No offense, son, but you're not good at acting or lying or keeping secrets. I feared that, if we told you, the game would be up before it started, and then Mogadon would declare war on us for trying to hide you from him. I thought…I thought it best for you not to know. Once you'd experienced it, you'd be able to play the part with no problem."

Silence fell again. Hiccup looked at his father for a long time before turning away to gaze up at Toothless. The dragon rumbled quietly, but Hiccup didn't respond. He turned his eyes down, staring at his injured wrist. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. All that came out was a faint croak, and he snapped his jaws shut once more. No one said anything, watching apprehensively as he took in this sudden revelation.

Finally, his voice soft and toneless, Hiccup said, "So let me get this straight. You made me feel like I was useless, pushed me down, ignored me, treated me worse than a slave, took away everything that means anything to me, hurt me over and over again…for two months…in an attempt to…_protect me_?" He looked up at his father, waiting for his answer.

Stoick, not really knowing how to interpret Hiccup's expression, nodded. "Aye. That's right."

Hiccup stared at him, his face vacant. His eyes then roved over the others gathered around his bed, pausing for maybe a second longer on Astrid and Gobber. Then his gaze flickered back to his father. He sat up, ignoring the way his head swam at the sudden motion.

"Dad," he said in a voice that was slow, careful, and measured, "I didn't know it was possible for you to be this incredibly stupid."

A collective gasp went around the room. Stoick pulled back, his eyes wide in shock. No one said anything for a moment. Hiccup began to shake as rage started breaking through his carefully-maintained façade.

"I…" Stoick finally unstuck his throat. "I thought—"

"No you didn't think!" Hiccup snapped. "That's your problem! You never think! You never think about how your decisions are going to affect people! You decided to go off and find the dragons' nest even though I tried to tell you it was a hopeless battle! And you decided to hurt me instead of telling me the truth! The first time, I lost my leg. The second time, I tried to kill myself." He gripped his bandaged wrist, his knuckles white. "How many times am I going to have to injure myself before you finally decide to use your brain?! How many more times am I going to have to almost die before you realize that maybe your ideas suck?! How many more times are you going to hurt me?! How many more of your mistakes am I going to have to pay for?!"

A ringing silence followed this tirade. Hiccup, visibly trembling by now, looked away from the people around him, gazing down at his hands, drawing deep, shuddering breaths. Tears beaded in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over.

"I'm sorry," Stoick finally managed to choke out. "I never…never wanted to hurt you like this, son."

Hiccup scoffed. "Never wanted to hurt me…" he repeated. He looked up at Toothless, who gazed sadly back. "Never wanted to hurt me…that's a laugh…"

"I was trying to protect you!" Stoick added, a pleading note entering his voice.

"Yeah, and how did that turn out for you?" Hiccup retorted coldly. "Gods, it's so great having a father who has absolutely no confidence in my ability to defend myself."

"That's not what I—"

"It's exactly what you meant," Hiccup interrupted. "Despite everything I've done, everything I've been through, you still see me as a useless little runt who can't take care of himself. Have you forgotten that I killed a dragon the size of a mountain? All the battles with Alvin and the Outcasts? Dagur and the Berserkers? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I can actually hold my own against an enemy? Did you forget about Toothless?" He gestured to the dragon at his side. "As long as I've got him beside me, nothing can harm me. You know that, Dad, yet still you thought hurting me was a better alternative than actually telling me what was going on so that maybe I'd be able to, oh I don't know, recognize a threat when I saw one?" He shook his head. "Thanks, Dad. Thanks for confirming that I really am useless in your eyes."

"You're not useless!" Stoick insisted. "Son, none of that was real—"

"Not real?!" Hiccup shouted. "Not real?! You think the pain you put me through wasn't real? That the last two months of torture weren't real? That _this_…" He thrust his wrist out and privately relished the sight of Stoick flinching away from it. "…isn't real?! How dare you! How dare you sit there and tell me that all this was just pretend, make-believe, that it _wasn't real_! You…" He faltered, his fury and heartbreak so intense that words failed him completely. He turned away, curling up as sobs finally burst from his chest, unstoppable. Stoick, at a loss, reached toward him, but Hiccup recoiled away and snarled, "_Don't fucking touch me!_"

There was another collective gasp. No one had ever heard Hiccup swear before.

"Get out!" Hiccup said. "All of you, get out!"

No one moved. "Hiccup—" Stoick began weakly.

"Get out of my room!" Hiccup screamed. "Get out of here! Get out! I hate you! I hate all of you! Get out, godsdamn it! Get out, _get out_, GET OUT!"

Any thoughts of trying to stay were immediately shattered when Toothless snarled and crouched into a predatory stance, ready to defend his human. Stoick, deciding that it was best not to antagonize an angry Night Fury, hastily stood and followed the others out the door. Astrid looked like she wanted to stay and speak, but Stoick forced her out. Soon he was the only other person left in the room. He paused just long enough to glance back at Hiccup. His son was curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably, his whole body shaking in grief and rage. Stoick felt his own heart clench at seeing his son so broken, but Toothless was still growling, so he retreated without another word.

The moment the door was shut, Toothless ceased his defense and crooned down at Hiccup. The boy raised his head from his hands and threw his arms around his friend's neck, sobbing loudly into the shiny black scales. Toothless moaned softly deep in his throat, wondering what he could possibly do to ease his human's pain.

"T-Toothless," Hiccup gasped. "H-how…how could they d-do this to me? How c-could they hurt me s-so badly then say that n-none of it was r-real? How…how could they…?"

Toothless suddenly rose up onto his hind legs, and Hiccup, his arms still wrapped firmly around the dragon's neck, rose with him. He yelped in shock and confusion as Toothless waddled away from the bed, Hiccup dangling in front of him, swinging slightly to and fro. Then the dragon gently lowered to all fours again, allowing his human to stand for a brief moment before crumpling, his legs unsteady from losing so much blood.

He never hit the floor, though. Toothless was there to catch him.

"Toothless?" Hiccup looked up in bewilderment. "What are you…"

Toothless flashed his gummy smile, and Hiccup fell silent, understanding at last. His voice was thick with emotion when he murmured, "Thanks, bud."

He settled down, snuggling into his dragon's side. His scales were warm and soothing, and he sighed comfortably. Toothless curled his tail around, letting the remaining tailfin rest over Hiccup like a sheet. Hiccup allowed his eyes to close, pressing himself into the Night Fury, seeking and finding reassurance from the dragon's body. This was the one creature that had never turned on him, never doubted him, always stood by him no matter what, would never abandon him…

Before sleep claimed him, Hiccup whispered, "I love you, Toothless."

Toothless crooned back, and Hiccup didn't need to know the dragons' language to understand what he'd said.


	6. Chapter 6: Damaged

**A/N: 102 reviews?! You guys rock! I know I keep saying that but it's true. Thank you all so much! **

**To Guest reviewer, I'm afraid I can't really say if there will be any pairings in this story without ruining some of the surprise. But let's just say that this is not a romance story. There might be some flirtations and light romantic fluff (maybe), but this is ultimately a story about Hiccup and how he interacts with Berk after being put through so much pain. **

**And with that, on with the show! **

Chapter Six

Damaged

"I'm a terrible father," Stoick moaned, putting his head in his hands.

It was morning, the sun peeking over the horizon and throwing Berk into faint golden light. Stoick hated the brightness of the day: it was a stark contrast to the storm raging in his chest.

Across the table from him, Gobber placed a consoling hand on the chief's. "Nah… just…a little misguided," he tried to comfort.

Stoick snorted and didn't reply for a moment. He didn't need to speak to make it clear he thought "misguided" was a massive understatement.

"I have to try and fix this," he finally muttered, standing and bustling around for some food, placing a fish and some bread on a plate.

"How?" Gobber asked.

"I don't know," Stoick admitted, filling a cup with water. "Somehow. I have to win back his trust."

"That'll be difficult," Gobber remarked, taking a swig from his mug. "You heard what he said last night. He hates us right now. It'll be awhile before he's ready to forgive us."

"I know, but…" Stoick sighed and headed for the stairs. "I have to try."

Gobber said nothing more, and Stoick ascended to his son's bedroom. He knocked on the door and called, "Hiccup? Are you awake, son?" Getting no answer, he cautiously pushed the door open.

The first thing he saw was the empty bed. His heart dropped. "Hiccup? Where…"

He trailed off as he noticed Toothless curled up on the other side of the room, his head up and ear fins perked alertly. His eyes had slit pupils that didn't look the least bit friendly. Hiccup was lying against the dragon's side, clearly still asleep. Stoick breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good morning, Toothless," he said cautiously, wishing he'd grabbed a basket of fish for the obviously-angry dragon.

Toothless growled.

"Easy, boy," Stoick soothed. "I know I'm not your favorite person right now."

Toothless continued to growl warningly. Stoick frowned for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then an idea came to him. It was crazy, but…

He sighed and lowered himself to the floor, placing the breakfast tray aside, and lowered his head submissively. Toothless, surprised in spite of himself, stopped growling but continued to glare at him.

After a moment, Stoick spoke. "Thank you, Toothless…for being there for him when no one was. When I should have been. I know you didn't do it for me, but I appreciate it all the same."

Toothless cocked his head to the side.

Stoick took a deep breath and continued, "I know I've made a terrible mistake. I know I've hurt him. All I ask is that you give me the chance to make things right. Please," he added when Toothless' expression didn't change, "let me try to help him. I promise, if he doesn't want me here, I'll leave him be. I know it's going to take some time before he trusts me again, but I want to make things right, no matter how long it takes. Please, Toothless…" He held out his hand. The Night Fury regarded it warily. "…let me try to fix this mess I've made."

Toothless stared at him, apparently considering Stoick's words. Then he huffed in a way that said quite clearly, "If you hurt him again, I will tear you apart." Then he leaned forward until his nose touched Stoick's outstretched fingers. The chief smiled weakly. "Thank you, Toothless."

Toothless rumbled quietly and shifted his tail, exposing the sleeping boy at his side. "Hiccup?" Stoick reached out and gently shook his son's shoulder. Hiccup stirred and opened his eyes groggily. For a moment he seemed confused, as if he didn't know how he'd ended up on the floor. Then he saw his father and his eyes widened. He shrank back into Toothless' side, watching Stoick with a wary, mistrustful, even angry look that was eerily similar to the one Toothless had worn moments before.

"I…" Stoick suddenly forgot everything he'd planned on saying. He cleared his throat. "I brought you some breakfast." He picked up the tray and placed it in front of Hiccup. The boy didn't move, choosing to continue staring at his father. His expression had turned cold.

Stoick gulped and then silently chastised himself. He was a chief, for the gods' sakes! He should be capable of speaking to his own son without getting tongue-tied or nervous. Yet there was no denying it: he was unnerved by the hard stare Hiccup leveled at him. It was filled with silent accusations, accusations that Stoick couldn't counter.

"I…" Stoick stammered, "I just wanted to say that…I'm sorry, Hiccup. You were right, I should have trusted you with the truth instead of…well…" He looked away, unable to bear looking into his son's eyes anymore while they were so icy. "I know you're in pain, son, and I know you're angry. You have every right to be. But I hope that, in time, you'll be able to forgive us…to forgive me…for what we've done."

He chanced another glance at Hiccup. His expression hadn't changed. Knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with his son right now, he sighed and stood. Toothless watched his every move warily, as did the boy by his side. "I'll leave you to your breakfast, then. If you need anything, anything at all, give me a yell and I'll come running. I mean it." He walked over to the door and paused on the threshold. Hesitantly he looked back over his shoulder. Hiccup was still staring daggers at him. "I love you, Hiccup. I know I've done a rotten job of showing it, but it's true. And I'm so sorry. If I could go back and change it…"

Hiccup finally looked away, and his meaning was clear: dismissal. Stoick didn't finish his sentence. He merely sighed and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

_Odin_, he thought as he descended the stairs to where Gobber waited expectantly, _this is going to be a long battle. _

…

Hiccup didn't say a word to him throughout the day. Stoick popped in every few hours to see if his son needed anything, but every time Hiccup merely looked away pointedly, refusing to speak. Stoick, knowing it would do no good to argue, particularly with that Night Fury there to protect him, withdrew each time without complaint, though he couldn't keep the look of disappointment and sadness off his face every time his son rejected his attempts to reconcile.

But even though he said nothing to his father, Hiccup was far from silent that day. Whenever he was alone in the room with Toothless, he would talk to his dragon friend, sometimes ranting, other times thoughtfully contemplating.

After Stoick delivered his breakfast and left, Hiccup looked down at the dish he'd left. True, he was starving. He hadn't eaten at all the previous day but had been too depressed to care. Now his stomach was making its displeasure known in no uncertain terms. Yet he still hesitated to pick up the bread and fish. He snorted. "Does he think that by offering me food he can just erase the past two months?"

Toothless warbled in agreement. Nevertheless, Hiccup sighed and picked up the bread, devouring it in seconds. The fish he gave to his dragon. It was a small act of defiance, but it made him feel slightly better. That and he knew how much Toothless loved cod.

After Stoick delivered lunch, this time thinking to bring a basketful of fish for Toothless, Hiccup sighed and asked the dragon, "Am I being unreasonable?"

Toothless crooned between mouthfuls of fish. Hiccup snorted. "I don't think I am. After what they put me through they deserve whatever I do. They deserve my hatred, and they certainly don't deserve my forgiveness…"

He trailed off, frowning. Despite his words, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He was a forgiving person by nature, and he hated to hold grudges. He'd been subjected to bullying before, mostly from his cousin Snotlout, and the others had never come to his defense. After the battle with the Red Death, Astrid had been the only one to ever actually apologize for hurting him or for not helping him. Yet he forgave all of them without having to be asked.

This, though…this was a different matter. They'd done some serious harm this time. He'd been able to bounce back from their hurtful words before, but this time they'd beaten even that resilience out of him, leaving him broken and alone. He was damaged, and he wasn't sure he could be repaired.

He told all this to Toothless, who listened with his head tilted to one side. "What do you think, bud?" he asked. "Should I forgive them anyway? Is it right to hang on to this anger?"

When Toothless didn't offer more than a noncommittal grunt, Hiccup groaned and lowered his head into his hands. "I'm so confused. What they did…it still hurts. Even knowing that it was all _pretend_…" He scoffed. "…doesn't help. If anything it makes it worse. I can't just let that go. Even if I wanted to, I can't. But how long do I hold onto it before I start forgiving? Or have they finally gone past the point of forgiveness entirely this time? I don't know…I just don't know…"

Toothless nudged him, and his meaning was clear: _No matter what you choose to do, I'll stand by your side. _Hiccup smiled and stroked his forehead. "Thanks, bud."

…

Astrid spent the entire day wondering what might have happened had she decided not to go along with Stoick's plan.

She had been vehemently against it from the start. She'd known how badly her words and actions would hurt Hiccup. She'd known he wasn't going to be pleased when he found out the whole thing was a ploy. But even she had never dreamed Hiccup would try to end his own life. He'd always been so…sturdy? It wasn't quite the right word but it was all she could come up with. He'd always persevered, even when his life was at its bleakest. The very idea that he would attempt suicide was foreign to her.

Yet she had seen the bloody gash in his wrist. She'd seen the words scrawled in blood. She'd read the scribbled notes in the pages of his sketchbook, found lying open on his worktable.

_Astrid – too weak. Not a hero. Deserves someone better than me. _

"But I don't want anyone else," she said aloud, and then looked around quickly in case someone had overheard her.

If she hadn't obeyed Stoick's command, Hiccup would have known from the start that the village's show of hatred was false. She could have saved him two months of heartbreak. She could have. Easily.

So why hadn't she?

She didn't know how to answer that.

She'd gone up to Hiccup's house first thing in the morning, but Stoick had firmly told her that Hiccup wasn't to have visitors that day. She accepted begrudgingly. After all, he was the chief, and Hiccup was in a lot of pain. She figured he needed the time alone.

But the following morning, she returned, and she wasn't taking no for an answer this time. She had to talk to him. She had to tell him how sorry she was. She had to tell him that she loved him, that she'd never stopped.

Stoick answered the door again. "Astrid. You're back." He didn't sound surprised.

"Chief, please, I must see him," Astrid said, a note of urgency in her voice.

Stoick hesitated. "I…don't know if that's wise, lass. He's…still angry…" When Astrid's determined expression didn't change, he sighed and added, "I'll ask him if he wants to see you, all right? If he says yes, I'll let you up. But if he says no…"

"I'll leave," Astrid finished for him, nodding. Anything to be let inside. Besides, Hiccup wouldn't turn her away…right?

Stoick let her in and told her to wait while he climbed the stairs. He knocked on his son's door. "Hiccup?" he asked, peeking cautiously, nervously in. "Astrid's here. She wants to see you."

Hiccup blinked and gazed up at him. He hadn't moved from his spot beside Toothless.

"If you don't want to see her, I'll send her away," Stoick added.

Hiccup was silent for a moment longer. He exchanged a glance with Toothless, and then he nodded. "All right," he said, and Stoick started. They were the first words his son had said to him since he'd ordered them all out of his room. "I'll see her. Send her up."

Surprised and slightly hopeful, the chief nodded and withdrew. "You're in luck," he told Astrid when he returned to the first floor. "He says he'll see you."

Astrid smiled and took the stairs two at a time, entering the room without knocking. Like Stoick, she paused in confusion at seeing the empty bed, but her face cleared when she saw Hiccup lying in Toothless' protective grasp. She blinked, momentarily stunned. Hiccup's face was set in a cool, slightly aloof expression. There was no warmth in his eyes. She swallowed a lump in her throat. This was going to be harder than she'd first thought.

"Uh…hi," she said, and she hated the way her voice quavered.

Hiccup nodded to her. "Hello, Astrid," he said quietly.

_He's still hurting. And very, very angry_, Astrid thought. She tried to smile in a way she hoped was comforting and stepped forward to sit before him. Toothless watched her, his pupils in slits, but made no move to stop her.

"So…how are you?" she asked, and immediately wished she hadn't.

Hiccup's expression didn't change. "I've been better."

Astrid nodded and an awkward silence fell between them. She found that she had a hard time making eye contact. The look on his face was…unnerving.

Suddenly the words burst from her lips as if of their own accord, "Hiccup I'm so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you, I thought the idea was stupid from the beginning and I tried to argue against it but then the chief made us swear to stick to the plan and I agreed because, well, he's the chief and I can't disobey him, I swear I never wanted to cause you that kind of pain, I know it was wrong and that I should have told you everything from the start, you wouldn't be in this position if I had and…and…I'm sorry." She flushed and looked down at her hands.

Hiccup didn't say anything for a moment. He watched her silently throughout her rambling and continued to gaze thoughtfully at her when she'd fallen silent. Astrid wondered if he was going to say anything at all.

Then he hummed quietly and said, "You said something just now that I don't understand. Mind clarifying for me?"

Astrid looked up and replied, "Which part?"

"The bit about why you went along with the plan even though you knew it was stupid and only going to cause me unnecessary pain," Hiccup specified. "Why was that again?"

Astrid thought, trying to remember what she'd said in her little outburst. Then she answered, "I…I did it because Stoick told us to. It was a direct order from the chief. I couldn't disobey…what?"

Hiccup was shaking his head. "No, _wouldn't _disobey," he corrected. "You _could _have, but you _didn't_. There's a world of difference between these two concepts, Astrid."

Astrid opened her mouth but nothing came out for a moment. She finally spluttered, "But…Hiccup! Your father's the chief! I couldn't just—"

"Since when has my father's status as chief ever stopped you – or any of us – from disobeying him?" Hiccup interrupted. "We've gone behind his back before, Astrid, remember? The whole purpose of our Flight Club was to ride dragons without my father's knowledge. So forgive me if I find it doubtful that you spent two months ignoring me and pretending I didn't exist just because he told you to. No. There was another reason. What was it, Astrid? I think I have the right to know why you felt destroying me was a good idea."

Astrid's mouth was hanging open and she couldn't think of a single word to say. Hiccup secretly found her speechlessness amusing, but he refused to crack a smile. "Never mind. There's no need to answer. I already know." He looked her right in the eye and declared, "You did it because you were afraid."

Astrid unstuck her throat. "Afraid?" she repeated as if the word was foreign to her.

"Yes, afraid," Hiccup confirmed, nodding. "You were afraid to disobey because you knew you'd be the only one who did. It's the same reason you never stood up for me before, when Snotlout and the others were bullying me. You didn't want to be the one who allied yourself with Hiccup the Useless, too afraid of what it would do to your reputation. The great and mighty Astrid Hofferson helping out poor weak little Hiccup, what a blow that would have been to your image."

Astrid's face was turning red with anger. "That's not true!"

"It is true!" Hiccup snapped. "You didn't help me then because you feared for your reputation, and you didn't help me now because you feared you'd be the only one who did. You were afraid of being cast out like I was. You feared that by disobeying my father's orders you would lose the respect of the village. So you went along with the charade, despite knowing how it was affecting me, perhaps hoping I would be all nice and understanding when it was all over and the truth was revealed, that I would easily forgive your cowardice and everything would go back to normal—"

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third!" Astrid fairly shrieked. "Are you calling me a coward?!"

Hiccup didn't flinch the way she'd hoped he would. "You know what?" he snarled, staring her down. "Maybe I am."

There was a ringing silence. Astrid was breathing heavily out of a combination of fury and bewilderment, and she was determinedly looking into Hiccup's eyes, refusing to be the first to look away…

But Hiccup's eyes bored into hers, their green depths stony and unyielding. She finally broke off the stare, hating herself for it. When had Hiccup become so assertive?

"You see, Astrid?" he said after a moment in a quiet voice that seemed so out of place following their shouting. "Words can cause just as much damage as an axe or sword. And those wounds take a long time to heal."

Astrid blinked and looked back up at him. He was gazing at her in a way that made her feel that he could see through her. It made her shiver. And there was a strange glint in his eyes. Was it pity?

She suddenly had to get out of there. This meeting hadn't gone at all the way she'd hoped and she had to sort out everything that had happened between them. She stood up abruptly. Hiccup watched her, impassive, as she strode to the door, pulled it open, and departed without so much as a backward glance. She didn't speak to Stoick when she descended the stairs. She simply walked out the front door into the daylight, her head still reeling.

She had to be alone for a while. She had to think.

…

"I need to think," Hiccup told Toothless. It was mid-afternoon. Stoick had brought him lunch but the food was untouched. The thought of food made his stomach churn. His brain was a whirlwind of activity but he was unable to string two thoughts coherently together. Maybe it was his proximity to the village. He could practically feel the looks of worry and pity that everyone was sending his way, even though the walls of the house separated him from Berk.

He needed to be alone, somewhere he could relax and unwind without anyone interrupting him. His bedroom simply wasn't isolated enough.

He grinned suddenly as a thought occurred to him. "Hey bud, what do you say we go to the cove for a bit?"

Toothless absolutely loved the idea. Hiccup could tell because the dragon started quivering underneath him in excitement. He chuckled. "All right, bud. But we have to be sneaky. Everyone will notice if we go flying out of here. Besides, the window's still covered." He gestured up to the boarded-up hole in the roof. "We'll have to sneak out the back door. From there we'll run. Well…you'll run and I'll ride. I'm still too weak to run myself." He stood up and proved his words by swaying on the spot. Toothless helped stabilize him. "Thanks, bud. Hmm…should I leave a note?" He shook his head and said at once, "No. Let them fret for a little while. Besides, if they really know me, they'll know where to look."

He nodded, satisfied, and walked over to the door. He opened it, listening carefully. He'd heard his father leave earlier to attend to his chiefly duties, but he wanted to make absolutely certain they were alone in the house. He heard nothing from downstairs, so he preceded Toothless to the main level and out the back door. Elated at being able to breathe fresh air again, Hiccup leapt onto his dragon's back, ignoring the way his head spun at the sudden burst of motion. Even if they weren't going to be airborne (there was no time to fasten the prosthetic tailfin), it still felt wonderful to be connected to his best friend once more, to be joined, to be as one.

Toothless let out a soft roar of exaltation before he bounded into the forest, Hiccup riding expertly atop him, truly smiling for the first time in days.

**A/N: For some reason I really like writing angry Hiccup. Don't know why… **


	7. Chapter 7: Hiccup's Decision

**A/N: Once again, thank you all for all the favorites, follows, and reviews! I can't tell you how much I appreciate them! **

**To the guest who suggested I do the continuation: I hope you enjoy what I have planned for this story. Thanks for suggesting I do this in the first place. :) **

**To guest reviewer Sassy: The problem with doing Ruffcup is that Ruffnut also had a hand in hurting Hiccup, albeit not nearly as much as Astrid. But I don't think Hiccup would ever have any romantic interest in her, particularly not after what's happened to him. Don't worry, I already know who Hiccup's later love interest will be. However, I should warn you that I am a firm supporter of Hiccup-Astrid romance, so I would never actually pair him with anyone else, at least not permanently or seriously. Hopefully this will all become clearer as the story continues. **

**To Guest: Valka will not be making an appearance in this story. I'm trying to sorta-kinda-maybe fit this in with the HTTYD film canon (as best I can, anyway), so I won't do anything to disrupt the continuity of the films. (Apart from, you know, the whole Hiccup-attempting-suicide thing…) **

**To guest reviewer Btree.940: I have said before that I am not going to do a HTTYD-**_**Jungle Book **_**crossover. I've never read the book and the only adaptation I've seen is the Disney film, and even that was a long time ago and I don't remember much about it. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm not going to do it. **

**All right. Here's the last chapter of the original story. Which means…next chapter will be totally original material! :D **

Chapter Seven

Hiccup's Decision

Of course Stoick's first reaction upon finding his son's room empty that evening was to panic.

"Find him!" he bellowed to the Vikings congregated in front of his house. "Search everywhere! Bring my son home!"

The others nodded and dispersed. Stoick looked up at the sky. The sun was setting, and it would be dark soon. How in Thor's name would they find him then? He hoped and prayed to every god he knew of that Toothless was with Hiccup. He at least had a better chance of surviving the night if the dragon was by his side.

"Chief!"

Stoick looked around to see Astrid running toward him. "What is it?" he asked.

She came to a stop in front of him. "I think I know where he might be."

The moment she said it, he knew too. Of course. The place Hiccup had always gone when he needed to be alone or think something over. The place where he'd first met and befriended Toothless.

The cove.

"Let's go!" he said, and they took off into the forest without another word, pausing just long enough for Stoick to motion to Gobber, silently ordering him to follow. The blacksmith obeyed without question and fell in behind the chief and the young Viking girl.

Darkness had all but descended by the time they reached the cove, but it was still light enough for Stoick to see the outlines of a boy and a dragon resting on the ledge that overlooked the beautiful little grotto. The chief breathed a huge sigh of relief before holding up a hand, requesting a moment alone with his son. Gobber and Astrid nodded and stood back as Stoick took a few cautious steps forward.

Toothless was the first to hear his approach and looked around. His green eyes, luminous in the near-darkness, narrowed warningly but he made no move to protect the human at his side. Stoick stepped closer and opened his mouth to speak, but Hiccup, not even glancing over his shoulder, beat him to the punch. "I have to admit, I'm impressed," he said lightly. "I figured it would be a while longer before you found me."

"Hiccup," Stoick sighed, stepping forward to sit beside his son, his hefty frame thudding rather heavily onto the ground. "Why did you—"

"I wasn't running away, and I wasn't planning on trying to kill myself again, if that's what you're worried about," Hiccup replied. "I just needed to be alone for a little while. This place is great for clearing my head, allowing me to think about everything that's happened over the past couple of months."

Stoick blinked. "Oh?" he said, his voice quavering slightly. "And…have you come to any conclusions?" He held his breath.

"I have, actually," Hiccup answered, nodding. He still hadn't looked over at his father, choosing instead to gaze down into the darkness of the cove below.

When he didn't elaborate, Stoick gently prodded, "And…?"

Hiccup sighed. "Well, I hope you understand that what you did, what all of you did, was really, really stupid," he said. His voice was calm and matter-of-fact, not a trace of anger coloring its tone. "You should have known better than to try that particular plan."

"Aye," Stoick agreed with a sigh. "You're right. It was stupid."

"Yes, it was," Hiccup said, nodding. There was a pause, and Stoick sensed he was gathering his thoughts. He stayed silent, waiting to hear what his son had decided.

Finally, he said, "I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I tend to prefer forgiving people, moving on and putting wrongs in the past. But this time…Dad, I don't think you fully understand what you did to me, even now."

"Of course I do, son," Stoick insisted.

"You hurt me," Hiccup continued, not acknowledging his father's words. "You tore me down and caused me more pain than I even thought was possible. You pushed me to the point that I thought suicide was my only option. This isn't something I can just put behind me and pretend it never happened. I will always remember…" He hesitated, subconsciously gripping his bandaged wrist with his left hand. "I will always remember what you've done to me, what you are capable of, what you drove me to do. As much as I'd love to I simply can't move on…

"Now I've done a lot of thinking about forgiveness. What it means to forgive. Simply put, to forgive means to stop feeling anger or resentment towards someone over a wrong. Sounds simple enough, but…it's easier said than done. But to forgive someone doesn't necessarily mean to forget it, to pretend it never happened. So…" He finally turned to look his father in the eye. "I've decided to forgive you, Dad. You and the village."

Stoick didn't know if he should jump for joy or dissolve into tears of remorse and relief, or maybe both. So he did neither. Instead, he reached out and hugged Hiccup. "Thank you, son. Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet," Hiccup cautioned. "I haven't finished."

Stoick drew back, worried again.

"I forgive you, Dad. But I'm not going to forget what's happened. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I ever will. And now that I know you're capable of causing me so much pain, I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again. You or anyone else on Berk. I'm sorry, but—"

"Don't apologize," Stoick interrupted, squeezing Hiccup's shoulders. "I understand, son. I know it's going to take some time for things to return to normal. And I promise I will do everything in my power to win your trust back. I swear it on my life."

And for the first time in two months, Stoick saw Hiccup smile.

"Thanks, Dad."

Stoick pulled him into another hug. "I love you, Hiccup."

Hiccup reached up and returned the embrace. "I love you too, Dad," he murmured. "Please…please never hurt me like that again…"

"Never," Stoick swore. "Never again. I promise."

Toothless, who had observed all this in silence, looked around at the sound of more footsteps. Astrid and Gobber, apparently deciding to reveal themselves, came forward, both grinning in relief. Hiccup pulled back from Stoick in surprise. He didn't have to ask whether they'd heard his words: their expressions said it all.

"I promise too, Hiccup," Astrid said, kneeling down and taking his hand in hers.

"Aye, me too, lad," Gobber added.

Hiccup didn't speak. Indeed, he suddenly found himself incapable of articulating any sound at all. He merely grinned and nodded.

"You were right," Astrid said after a moment. "You were right about me. I was a coward. I didn't help you because I was afraid to. And I am so, so sorry, Hiccup." She hugged him.

"What, no punch for calling you a coward?" Hiccup asked weakly.

"Don't push your luck," Astrid replied, and Hiccup chuckled.

Stoick stood up. "Come on, son. Let's get you home. The others will be relieved to know you're safe, and I daresay they all want to know they're forgiven."

An hour later Hiccup found himself in the Great Hall, surrounded by Vikings with identical expressions of relief on their faces. He repeated what he'd said to Stoick, and everyone seemed grateful to be let off the hook so easily. Even when he warned them that he couldn't trust them, that they'd have to earn his trust back, their relief didn't diminish. Fishlegs, Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut all came forward and stood beside him, and they took turns apologizing to him, promising they would work hard for his faith in them to be restored. (Well, Fishlegs and Snotlout promised. Ruff and Tuff started bickering about who had apologized first and never got around to saying anything more, but Hiccup appreciated it all the same.)

"That does leave a small problem, though," someone spoke up from the back of the hall. "Mogadon the Meathead will be here in a couple of days. What are we going to tell him? I assume we aren't going to pretend Snotlout is the hero anymore, right?"

There was a moment's silence as everyone considered the dilemma. Then Hiccup turned to Stoick and said, "May I make a suggestion, Dad?"

"By all means," Stoick replied, nodding.

"I say we tell Mogadon the truth," Hiccup replied, and then quickly went on when he saw his father was about to refuse, "Look, lying has never helped us before. I kept Toothless a secret from you and it backfired badly. We tried to keep Dagur from finding out about the dragons and when he learned we'd lied he became our fiercest enemy. I don't think lying or pretending is the answer, Dad. And besides…" He hesitated before admitting, "I can't go back to being Hiccup the Useless again. I just can't."

Stoick considered for a moment. "Hiccup, Thor knows I don't want to cause you any more pain. But…are you sure about this? You heard what I said about Mogadon. I want you to be safe."

"And I will be, Dad," Hiccup insisted. "Listen, I propose that we tell Mogadon the truth, every bit of it. I'm not the Dragon Conqueror, I'm a dragon trainer, one of several. If he knows that I'm not the only one who can do it, my novelty value decreases, doesn't it? And if he wants to, I can show him how to train dragons himself so that he won't have any use for me at all."

"Mogadon training dragons?" Stoick looked aghast. "Son…"

"Dad, half the Archipelago knows about the trained dragons by now," Hiccup pointed out. "Alvin and Dagur and Johann would have told others, I'm sure of it. And if Mogadon is going to learn how to train them, I'd rather he learn it our way instead of trying to beat them into submission like Alvin. Don't you see?" he added when Stoick still didn't look convinced. "It's the only solution, Dad. We show him that I'm not a unique, one-of-a-kind item and his interest in adding me to his collection will go away. We teach him to train dragons with kindness and trust and he'll have no use of the fabled Dragon Conqueror, plus he will hopefully treat dragons with the respect they deserve. Besides…" He reached over to scratch Toothless' chin. The dragon crooned happily. "…as long as Toothless is with me, I can defend myself in case something goes wrong."

"Toothless won't be the only one defending you," Astrid spoke up, stepping forward. "If Mogadon wants to get to you, he will have to get through me."

"Me too!" Snotlout roared.

"Us too!" the twins chorused (and then promptly began arguing about who had spoken first. Everyone ignored their little scuffle.)

"And me," Fishlegs intoned.

The other villagers all started shouting too until the whole hall echoed with the sound of it. Stoick had a hard time regaining order, and when silence fell once more he sighed. "Well…I can't say I like this plan. But I trust you, Hiccup. Do what you can to placate Mogadon. And if he still wants you…" His eyes swept the room and remained a second or two on the portrait of him and his son hanging on the wall. He had put the painting that Hiccup liked back in its proper place immediately upon entering the hall that night and his son's face had lit up on seeing it again, but it did make the boy's small stature quite noticeable.

Stoick sighed again. Perhaps it was time to let his son make his own decisions.

"…he'll be in for the fight of his life."

Hiccup beamed up at him.

…

_Hiccup was afraid. _

_He was standing in the middle of the village square, surrounded on all sides by angry Vikings. He couldn't see a single smile in the midst of the crowd. _

_He looked around and suddenly became aware that Toothless wasn't beside him. He called for his dragon but got no response. _

"_You!" one of the Vikings barked at him, and he whirled around. "Get outta here, pest! Go somewhere you're wanted!" _

_Stung, Hiccup staggered backward, colliding with another Viking, who promptly shoved him aside. "Why are you always getting in the way?!" _

"_I…I…" He didn't know how to respond. _

_He saw Astrid in the crowd and reached for her, but her face was cold. "Why would I want to help you, Hiccup?" she asked scathingly. "You're useless to me. You're not a Viking. You're just a screw-up." _

_Hiccup felt his eyes watering and looked away, ashamed. He saw Snotlout, who was looking more pleased with himself than usual. "I am the Dragon Conqueror!" he shouted. "I am the Hero of Berk! And you? You are just a waste of space!" _

"_Why would anyone want you?" Hiccup spun around and saw Fishlegs staring at him, arms crossed. "You don't have anything to offer this village. Your existence is pointless." _

"_Leave here!" It was Ruffnut. "We don't want you." _

"_Why couldn't you have died?" Tuffnut demanded. "It would have been better for everyone." _

"_I…I tried," Hiccup stammered, his voice shaking. "I tried to…" _

"_Ha! The boy can't even kill himself properly!" Gobber laughed. "Hiccup the Useless, the only Viking who couldn't kill anything, not even himself!" _

_There were gales of laughter following this, and Hiccup looked at the ground, feeling his cheeks redden, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. _

"_Finish it." _

_A dagger landed at his feet, and he looked up. Stoick was standing before him, his expression dark, hands on his hips. "End it. Put us all out of our misery." _

_Hiccup stared up at him and tried to repress a sob. Slowly, he reached down and picked up the knife, pressing the blade to his wrist. He slashed and blood spurted upward, but a second later the wound resealed itself. Confused and panicking at the agitated mutterings of the people around him, he cut again, but the same thing happened. It bled for two seconds and then stopped as the skin healed. _

"_Can't even slash your own wrist," Stoick growled. "You really are useless." _

"_I'm trying!" Hiccup cried, his voice breaking. "I'm trying! I've always tried to please you! Always! I'm trying!" _

"_Take him!" Stoick roared, and Hiccup was suddenly lifted bodily into the air, held in the arms of four powerful Vikings. He squirmed and kicked but couldn't get free. "No! Please!" he yelled. "Let me go!" _

"_Take him to the cliffs!" Stoick bellowed. "We will rid ourselves of this nuisance once and for all!" _

_Hiccup was carried to the cliffs, the whole village following behind. All his attempts to free himself were futile. "Please, don't do this!" he cried as his captors came to a stop. "Please! I'll do anything!" _

"_Vikings don't beg," Stoick scolded, his face mere inches from Hiccup's. "Vikings don't act the way you do. You're not a Viking. You're not my son." _

_Hiccup felt his heart break but couldn't focus on that. He was far more concerned about the ocean churning a hundred feet below. He was raised into the air…_

"_TOOTHLESS!" he screamed. _

…_and hurled into empty space, plunging down, down, down…_

"_No! No please, please, NOOOO!" _

"Hiccup! Hiccup wake up! Wake up! HICCUP!"

Two strong hands were holding his arms and he fought against them. "Let me go! Let me go! Don't…no…please…!"

"Hiccup!" Stoick's face swam into view, his eyes wide and frightened, not cold or angry. "Come back to me, son! I'm here! It was just a dream! You're safe!"

Hiccup stopped fighting and looked around wildly, taking deep, shuddering breaths. He was sitting up in bed, safe and sound in his bedroom. His father was crouching beside him, and on his opposite side Toothless warbled in fear.

Hiccup relaxed and slumped forward, seizing his father's tunic in his fists and clutching it close, burying his face in Stoick's beard. He started crying, hating himself for it but unable to stop, his shoulders shaking and heaving with heavy sobs. Stoick pulled him close and held him, rocking gently back and forth and shushing him quietly. "You're all right, son. You're safe. I'm here, and so is Toothless. Nothing bad can happen to you. It was just a dream. It wasn't real."

Hiccup gulped and glanced down at his wrist. "Real enough," he mumbled.

Stoick might have understood what he meant, for he sighed and held Hiccup tighter. "I know. I know." He pulled away. "I'll be right back, okay?" Hiccup nodded, and he stood up and left.

Toothless crooned, and Hiccup looked over at his friend. "I'm fine, bud," he said, but his shaky voice did nothing to convince the dragon. Hel, he couldn't even convince himself.

Stoick returned a few minutes later, carrying a mug. Handing it to Hiccup, he said, "Here, drink this. It will help."

Hiccup took a sip and nearly choked. It was mead mixed with honey. The sweetness was almost overpowering, but he drank it all. Giving the mug back to Stoick, he felt drowsiness cloud his brain. "Better?" his father asked, his voice rather fuzzy.

Hiccup nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and slumped back onto his bed. Smiling slightly, Stoick rested his hand on his son's forehead for a moment. "Rest easy, my boy," he murmured, and then he turned and left, closing the door softly behind him.

Toothless rumbled, and Hiccup opened his eyes blearily. "Bud…stay with me?" he asked thickly. In answer, the dragon rested his head on his human's stomach. Hiccup smiled and closed his eyes again. "Thanks," he sighed before sleep scooped him away again. He didn't dream again for the rest of the night.

…

Mogadon the Meathead arrived two days later, and his visit went exactly as Hiccup predicted it would. Though initially baffled by the skinniness of the so-called Dragon Conqueror, he listened with rapt attention as Hiccup explained his story, and he was eager to learn when the boy and his friends offered to teach him to train dragons himself. The Meathead chief was a quick study. He picked up on the concept of trusting dragons much faster than Stoick had, and by the third day of his visit he was riding a Monstrous Nightmare, whooping in glee the whole time.

He stayed a week and departed after renewing the peace treaty his clan shared with Berk. He thanked Hiccup fervently for his training and promised to share his knowledge and methods with his tribe. He made no move to kidnap or threaten the boy in any way, and Hiccup was actually a little sorry to see him go.

There was a celebration in the Great Hall that evening, and Hiccup found himself once again the center of attention. He smiled when his father told him how proud he was of him and laughed and joked with the others, but before long he found himself wishing it would all be over so that he could be alone with Toothless. He hadn't had much time to spend with his dragon during Mogadon's visit and really missed his friend's company.

As the sun was sinking into the sea, he managed to slip away from the hall. With Toothless by his side, he returned home and pulled out his flying gear from the shed next to his house. He saddled the dragon in record time and was just about to jump onto his back when a voice made him look around.

"I believe you owe me a night flight," Astrid said lightly, leaning casually against the shed wall, grinning.

Hiccup blinked once in confusion. Then he remembered the ruined date he had planned before everything suddenly changed. He grinned. "I believe you're right." He climbed into the saddle and held out his hand. Astrid took it and settled behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Let's go, bud," Hiccup said to Toothless.

The dragon needed no further persuasion and launched himself into the air. For a few minutes, Hiccup amused them all by asking Toothless to perform all manner of aerial stunts: dives, upward spirals, barrel rolls, and loops. The delighted grin never left his face, and by her cries of laughter he could tell Astrid was enjoying herself too.

He finally had Toothless level off, and they soared over the village in companionable silence.

At least until Astrid sighed and tightened her hold on his waist, resting her head on his shoulder in an unmistakably romantic move. Hiccup felt his heart clench. "Uh, Astrid…I…I don't…"

"What is it?" Astrid asked, raising her head. She could sense some kind of battle going on between Hiccup's head and heart and was both confused and concerned.

Hiccup hesitated. "I…don't think I'm ready to go back to being…you know…a couple. Not yet. I'm still wounded and need some time to recover before we can go back to being as we were before…all that…"

Astrid didn't say anything. The sudden ache in her chest prevented her from speaking a single word.

"We can still be friends," Hiccup continued hopefully. "And maybe someday we'll be able to pick up where we left off. But for now I think it's best we just be friends. For the time being."

Astrid swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "I understand, Hiccup," she said softly, and he could tell she wasn't angry or hurt, just resigned and accepting. She knew she'd caused this. She had no one to blame but herself. Then she grinned. "But I'm going to fight to win you back. Just so you know."

Hiccup smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**A/N: Wait! Before you review and tell me that I shouldn't have had Hiccup let them off so easily, let me explain something! This is not, repeat NOT the end of the story! If anything, this is merely the end of Act 1. So to all of you who wanted Hiccup to make Berk suffer, don't worry, there's still plenty of chance for that. For those who wanted Hiccup to leave Berk altogether, there's still a chance for that to happen. For those who wanted to see the villagers fight to win Hiccup's trust back, they will. Will they succeed? I cannot say. You'll have to wait and find out. **

**No really…you'll have to wait. This is as far as I've gotten. Apparently my attempts to buy myself time by spacing out these chapters didn't exactly work. I haven't gotten any farther in this story and am currently dealing with a touch of writer's block. So…I really don't know how long it will be before the next chapter shows up. But rest assured, the story will continue! …eventually… **

**If you're interested, I do have some other HTTYD stories here on this site to help pass the time between chapters. There's the collection of one-shots that this story originated from. I also have two crossovers. The first, **_**Titanic**_**, puts the HTTYD characters into James Cameron's **_**Titanic**_**. The second, **_**Out of the Sea**_**, is Disney's **_**The Little Mermaid **_**with the **_**Dragon **_**characters. There's also a spin-off series of one-shots for this latter story called **_**Hiccup's Undersea Adventures**_**. **

**Yes, I'm officially self-advertising now. I have no shame. XD **

**Again, thank you all so much for all the favorites, follows, and reviews! I hope **_**Hiccup the Useless **_**continues to entertain you all. **


	8. Chapter 8: Changed

**A/N: What's this? A new chapter? After such a long break? Yep. Sure is. **

**I do have some announcements to make, but they can wait until the end of the chapter. I'm sure you're anxious to return to Berk after such a long hiatus. But there is one thing you should be aware of beforehand: Hiccup has a dream in this chapter, and it's pretty dark and violent. If that's something you don't want to read, or if it's a potential trigger for you, I urge you to skip over it. It's the section in italics near the end of the chapter. **

**Hope you enjoy! **

Chapter Eight

Changed

It was one thing to say he could forgive them and move on. But as Hiccup soon discovered, to actually do it was another thing entirely.

Two months went by, two months of tentative smiles, strained conversations, difficulty maintaining eye contact, awkward silences, uncomfortable throat-clearing, and tense encounters with old friends. Two months in which Hiccup tried his best to pretend nothing had happened between him and the village, in which the village tried its best to make him feel needed and important, in which his friends tried their best to include him in conversation, in which his father tried his best to make his son feel loved. But all their efforts were not enough. There was a palpable sense of disquiet in the air whenever Hiccup was around, though no one could really determine whether it stemmed from him or from those around him, or perhaps even both. The Great Hall fell oddly silent whenever he entered, and any conversation that followed was obviously forced or staged.

It was hard for Hiccup to determine who among the villagers the worst was about trying to be forcibly cheerful around him. There was Gobber, who had welcomed him back to the forge with great enthusiasm ("No one gets the fine details like you do, lad!"). The blacksmith was constantly trying to engage him in conversation whether he wanted to talk or not. Hiccup found this rather amusing at first, but his humor quickly faded into irritation and finally into dull acceptance as the days wore on. Sometimes he could even participate in the conversation, and occasionally even do so with ease, at least until his eyes landed on the white scar on his right wrist, at which his good mood would immediately evaporate.

Then there was Stoick, who had gone from projecting his disappointment like he would wield a hammer in battle to practically smothering his only son with warm affection. This was almost too much for Hiccup to bear, and he would often invent excuses to leave the house so that he could escape his father's doting gestures. In some corner of his heart, he was touched that Stoick seemed to actually be acting like, well, a loving father. But it was hard to bear that in mind when the man was practically spoon-feeding him day after day.

There were the other dragon riders, his friends and companions, who all seemed intent on doing everything they could to make Hiccup feel like his opinion mattered. It didn't matter what the topic of discussion was; if Hiccup made his opinion known, the others automatically accepted it as law. If he said he liked the color blue, then blue was the best color to go with practically everything. If he said the sand on the north beach was too coarse for his liking, then that beach was totally off-limits. At first he'd found this rather amusing and would take advantage of it, especially with Snotlout and the twins, who weren't quite intelligent enough to know when their legs were being pulled. For instance, he would say, "That helmet doesn't look good on you, Snotlout," and his cousin would immediately agree and take it off. Or perhaps it was, "Maybe you'd look good in pink," to Tuffnut, who would proudly wear a brand new pink tunic the next day to the bewilderment and amusement of the village. But these rather childish pranks grew old quickly, and soon Hiccup started fervently wishing someone else would form their own opinion about something instead of imitating him.

And then there was Astrid…

…

"Hey Hiccup!"

He heard her voice and suppressed a groan as he glancing up from his work, wiping sweat from his brow and trying to fix a warm smile on his face. Astrid, looking as radiant and beautiful as ever, was approaching the forge with an unmistakably hopeful expression.

"Hi Astrid," he said, straightening and walking up to the window so they could talk. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gobber smirk, but he ignored him and tried to push back the sudden urge to flee. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she replied. "How about you?"

Hiccup shrugged. "I'm okay. Busy." He gestured vaguely behind him at the tools littering the shop.

"Not _that _busy," Gobber commented, and Hiccup turned to glare pointedly at him. "Ah…right…well…" The blacksmith shuffled rather awkwardly. "I'll, uh…give you two some privacy."

He scurried off to the other side of the forge and busied himself with a hammer. Hiccup rolled his eyes and turned back to Astrid, who was fighting to suppress a smile and not doing a very good job of it. "Well that was awkward," he remarked.

Astrid laughed. "He certainly has a way with words," she agreed, shaking her head.

For a moment Hiccup just gazed at her. She looked so happy and carefree. Her smile was dazzling, her eyes sparkling with joy, her golden hair shining in the mid-afternoon sunlight. She was so beautiful, and in that moment he felt the familiar stirrings in his core that he'd always used to feel whenever he saw her, that pleasant warmth that started in his midriff and radiated outward to all points of his body.

_I miss you_, he thought sadly. _I miss what we used to have. I miss those days we used to spend together, before all that mess happened. I want those days back. I wish I didn't know that you were capable of causing so much pain. _

But he did know. The scar on his wrist was a constant reminder.

"So," Astrid said, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between them. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Hiccup knew where this was going and quickly tried to wriggle his way free. The trick, of course, was doing so without being obvious about it. And Astrid was pretty perceptive: fooling her was a lot harder than fooling the twins. He decided to tell the truth…most of it, anyway. "Not really," he answered, shrugging. "But I thought I'd turn in a bit early tonight. I…haven't been sleeping well and I'm kind of tired, you know?"

Astrid's smile flickered, but Hiccup wasn't afraid that she saw through his ruse. After all, he'd spoken the truth. He hadn't been sleeping well lately. Nightmares still plagued him almost every night, usually the same one but with a variation here or there to make it interesting.

"Oh," Astrid said, looking down at her hands, which she was twisting together in front of her. "I was going to invite you to dinner at my house. I'm cooking tonight."

Hiccup forced himself to smile. "Mm…I'm missing out," he remarked.

He was saying this to make her feel better. In truth, he'd made a narrow escape. As skilled as Astrid was with weapons, she was utterly hopeless in the kitchen. She tried her best, but as Hiccup had learned with the Yaknog, she loved to experiment…and those experiments often backfired. Hiccup had gone to dinner at the Hoffersons' house no less than seventeen times over the past two months, as Astrid was always inviting him over and he didn't have the heart – or indeed enough excuses – to turn her down that often.

He knew what she was up to, of course. He'd have been stupid not to. She was hoping to win his affections back. And while he had to commend her for her determination, he was honestly getting pretty sick of it.

So he didn't feel incredibly guilty when he said, "Maybe next time."

Astrid's smile returned, though at a noticeably lower intensity than before. "Yeah."

Another awkward silence fell.

"Are you teaching at the Academy tomorrow?" Astrid asked after a moment in a brave effort to continue the conversation.

"Yep," Hiccup nodded, glad to be talking about a subject he could get passionate about. "I've been thinking about what we should do and I have a few ideas. I've been practicing this new move with Toothless and I really think it will help develop our stealth skills."

Astrid snorted a single laugh. "With Snotlout and the twins, we need all the help we can get in that department."

Hiccup chuckled. "True enough. After that, I think we'll do a refresher course. You know, practice some of the stuff we've already covered. Maybe a few trick shots, some rescue maneuvers, a couple of trust exercises…"

He faltered, and Astrid's smile vanished at once. The single word "trust"hung in the air between them like a stormy gray cloud that had appeared out of nowhere. Quite without meaning to, he grabbed his scarred wrist with his left hand, his grip hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

"That…sounds great, Hiccup," Astrid said after a second or two. Her cheerful tone was now obviously forced. "I look forward to it."

Hiccup nodded mutely. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"Well…I guess I should get going," Astrid added after another moment. "I'll…I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Hiccup said quietly, trying to smile but not quite managing it. "Tomorrow."

Astrid turned and left. Her steps were a little slower than normal and lacked their usual vigor.

"Well that could have gone worse," Gobber remarked.

Hiccup turned to glare at him, and the blacksmith coughed awkwardly.

"Right…none of my business…"

Hiccup merely shook his head and returned to work. But he found he couldn't concentrate on blacksmithing anymore. The image of Astrid's stricken face when he'd said that one little word kept distracting him.

…

Toothless wanted to carry Hiccup up the hill to his house that night, but Hiccup refused. "No, bud. I can handle it," he insisted, his self-sure tone of voice quite belying his red and sweaty face. Toothless grumbled unhappily but allowed his human his moment of masochistic torture, following the struggling boy up the path. Hiccup paused at the top of the hill to catch his breath. "See?" he panted. "No problem."

Toothless gave him a dragon eye-roll.

"You've been hanging around me too long, bud," Hiccup said with a faint laugh. "You're picking up on my sense of humor."

Toothless just huffed in reply.

Hiccup opened the door and walked inside. Stoick looked up and smiled, though his expression darkened slightly when he saw how exhausted and even mildly pained his son looked. "Hiccup," he said, walking over and closing the distance between them in two strides, "did you—"

"Yes," Hiccup interrupted, his tone perhaps a little sharper than he'd intended, "I climbed the hill on my own again. I can do it, all right?"

Stoick looked as if he wanted to argue further, but he restrained himself with a sigh. "Right," he said, and then silence fell between them.

Feeling a little bad – he was just looking out for his son, after all – Hiccup said, "It's okay, Dad, really. It's a bit tiring but I can manage it. I'm getting a little better each day."

"I know," Stoick said wearily. They'd had this discussion before and they were never able to come to an agreement. "I just don't want you getting hurt or…"

He trailed off, and Hiccup broke eye contact, looking instead at the floor. They were both uncomfortably aware of just how badly he'd been hurt before.

"Well," Stoick said a little awkwardly. "I, uh…dinner! Dinner's ready, son. It's stew tonight, hope that's okay…?"

Hiccup barely refrained from snapping, "You don't need my approval for every single little thing, Dad!" Instead he said evenly, "Yeah, stew's fine." Then, in a brave effort to dispel some of the tension in the room, he added, "Smells good."

Stoick's smile was full of relief and gratitude. "Thanks, son. Hope you like it."

And he did. The stew tasted fine. But the meal was more than a little awkward, as every meal they shared had been for two months. By now the pattern was predictable: Stoick would ask a question, usually about how work was going at the forge, and Hiccup would reply in as few words as possible. Stoick would ask about the Academy, and Hiccup would give a longer answer, but still nothing more than a few sentences. Then Hiccup would try to contribute by asking how his father's chiefing had gone that day, and Stoick would answer in as few sentences as possible. They would then lapse into uncomfortable silence until Hiccup – who always ate faster – would finish and excuse himself from the table. He then hurried up to his bedroom for the night, leaving Stoick to gaze sadly after him.

"Hiccup," he sighed, turning to stare into the fire. "When are we going to be a family again, son? How much longer will this go on?"

The crackling flames offered him no answers.

…

Toothless woke up to the sound of his human moaning. He opened his eyes and looked around, his ears perked and alert. Hiccup was in bed, his face contorted in a combination of rage and pain, thrashing and whipping his head from side to side. His eyes were still closed, scrunched shut against a horror that only he could see.

Toothless hummed in mixed pity and resignation. Another nightmare. He stood up and walked over to his human's bed, reaching out to nuzzle the boy, hoping to wake him…

…

"_Fire!" Hiccup screamed, and Toothless shot a purple blast of fire at the group of Vikings huddling in fear in the corner of the Great Hall. They screamed in agony as they burned, but Hiccup didn't stay to witness their demise. He turned and left the hall, riding atop his beloved Night Fury as they surveyed Berk together. _

_The village was in flames. The few surviving Vikings were running frantically to and fro, desperately trying to put out the fire sweeping from building to building, all to no avail. Littering the ground all around were bodies, bodies of fallen warriors that he and Toothless had taken down. Hiccup smiled coldly as he gazed down on the carnage below. It served them right. It served them right for hurting him like that, for making him feel so worthless, so unloved, so useless…_

_His eyes fell on a lone figure standing near the mass of burning wood that had once been his house. It was his father. Hiccup's smile changed to a defiant sneer, and he directed Toothless to fly over toward the towering shape. Stoick's eyes roved over the shambles that had once been his village, his face pale and bloodless. "Thor Almighty," he breathed. "No…" _

_He looked up as Hiccup and Toothless landed a few paces away. His son slid from the dragon's back, his left hand clutching the handle of a dagger. Hiccup saw Stoick's eyes flicker as they landed on the weapon he held. Good. He'd recognized it. It was the same dagger he'd tried to kill himself with two months ago. _

"_Hiccup," Stoick breathed. "Son…why?" _

"_Don't act so surprised," Hiccup snarled. "Did you really think you could hurt me like that and not suffer any consequences?" _

"_Hiccup, I told you," Stoick said, his tone desperate and pleading, "I'm sorry! We're all sorry! We never meant to hurt you like that! It was all pretend!" _

"_Pretend?" Hiccup repeated, and he laughed. "It wasn't pretend to me, Dad. And that's not pretend, either." He pointed with the dagger, and Stoick followed the gesture to a pile of bodies lying nearby. His eyes widened in horror. There was Fishlegs, his eyes wide with unseeing terror, blood dribbling from a wound in his ample stomach. Ruffnut and Tuffnut, identical in almost every respect, right down to the mirror gashes across their throats. Snotlout, his once-handsome face blackened, charred, and almost unrecognizable. Astrid, her own axe embedded in her skull, right between her glassy blue eyes. Gobber, his own hook arm driven up through his chin, the point emerging from his open mouth. _

"_I'm not pretending, Dad," Hiccup said, and Stoick tore his eyes away from the grisly sight to meet his son's. "I was never pretending. Not then. And not now." _

_At a hand signal, Toothless reared his head back and fired. Stoick didn't have time to duck. He caught the blast full in the chest and was thrown backward, landing on his back. He didn't move for several seconds. He was finding it hard to breathe. _

_Hiccup walked up to him and knelt so that he was staring down into his father's face. He leaned in close and whispered, "I'll never forgive you." _

_Stoick flinched but didn't seem able to speak. The air had been knocked out of his lungs upon his collision with the ground and simply breathing was apparently difficult. But even without that, he didn't think he'd be able to say anything. The pure loathing and venomous anger churning in his son's eyes was enough to render him totally mute. _

_For a moment Hiccup enjoyed Stoick's obvious discomfort. He could read his father's every thought in his wide, panicky eyes and he liked what he saw. Then he leaned still closer and hissed three more words, simple words, words he'd said before, but words that sucked every ounce of warmth from Stoick's body, words laced with icy malice. _

"_I hate you." _

_Then Hiccup plunged the knife down into his father's chest…_

…

Hiccup woke up screaming, tears pouring down his face. Toothless let out a soft roar of mixed alarm and reassurance, his wide green eyes luminous in the darkness of the bedroom.

"T-Toothless," Hiccup choked, reaching out with trembling hands. "Oh gods, Toothless! I…I…I killed them! I killed them all! Oh sweet Odin I killed everyone!"

Toothless warbled in concern and pressed his forehead to his human's. Hiccup threw his arms around the dragon's neck and sobbed loudly into the black scales, mumbling, "I killed them! I killed them!" over and over again until the words dissolved into wordless moans and gasps.

"Hiccup?"

He looked up to see Stoick peering in through the doorway, his face lined with concern. For a moment black rage, a remnant from his dream, rose up inside him, but it faded at once and was replaced immediately with horror and a dash of guilt.

"Are you all right, son?"

Hiccup nodded and hurriedly wiped the trails of tears from his cheeks. "Yeah, I…I'm fine," he mumbled, looking away. He couldn't quite make himself meet his father's eyes. He kept seeing them filled with fear and pain and rapidly draining of life…

"Okay…well…try to go back to sleep, Hiccup."

Hiccup merely nodded, still not looking at him. Stoick, feeling utterly inadequate, left, closing the door behind him.

"Toothless," Hiccup murmured, his arms still locked around the Night Fury's neck, "stay with me? Please?"

Toothless crooned in assent and climbed onto the bed, reaching out with his front paws and pulling his human close. Hiccup snuggled up against the dragon's smooth, scaly body, allowing Toothless to cradle him, reaching up to hold the big black head in his arms. Toothless purred quietly, and his meaning was clear: _You're safe. Nothing's going to get you while I'm here. I promise. _

"Thanks, Toothless," Hiccup sighed, sniffling a little. "Thanks…for everything…"

Toothless warbled and nuzzled him, bringing a smile to Hiccup's face. Then his expression softened into neutrality as sleep once again claimed him.

**A/N: First of all, my thanks go out to Annanarra and GuardianDragon98, who both sent me suggestions for possible scenes. I loosely adapted Annanarra's into the first several paragraphs, and GuardianDragon98's got worked into Hiccup's dream toward the end. Thank you both for your input, I really appreciate it! :) **

**Also, thanks to all of you who have been following this story and urging me to continue. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have such devoted readers. Thanks too for all the reviews, I appreciate each and every one of them, even if I don't reply to them all. **

**Now for the bad news…I'm so sorry for the delay between chapters but there's a good chance that there may be another delay between this one and the next. Here's the thing: my interests change over time. Where I was really into HTTYD for a time, now my attentions have shifted to other things. This is totally normal for me (and I imagine I'm not alone). I promise, I'm not abandoning this story! It will continue, I swear! I will see it through to the end. I have an outline finished and I can already say that it will be fifteen chapters total. I like where it's going and think it will turn out great. I just wanted to let you know that the chapters probably won't be appearing as regularly as they did before. I have to be in the right mood to write this story, otherwise it just doesn't work. And you all have been so supportive that I owe you my very best. So I promise, the story will continue! It just may take some time, so please be patient with me. **

**In the meantime, I have some other stuff I've been working on. I'm currently on a horror kick (imagine that, with the username HorrorFan6…) and have been returning to my writing roots with some horror stories. If you haven't seen it yet (I don't know how many of you are following my one-shot collection) I do have a very dark and violent story with Hiccup and Toothless attacking Berk. I know several of you wanted this story to go that direction but Hiccup's nightmare in this chapter and that one-shot are as close as I'm going to go in that regard. If you have read that one-shot, I hope you enjoyed it (dark though it is), and if you haven't then by all means go check it out if you want to read something much darker and violent than my usual fan fiction work. Also, I've been posting chapters of my very first fan fiction ever from 2008, **_**Halloween: The Devil's House**_**. So if you're a fan of the 1978 horror film **_**Halloween **_**(or even if you're not), I'd love to know what you think of it. (It is rated M, though...just so you know.) Also, on a much lighter note, I've started a series of one-shot shamelessly comedic self-insertions called **_**Untold Stories From Berk**_**, starring myself and two of my best friends. So if the darker stuff isn't to your liking, you may prefer these stories. **

**Once again, thank you all so much for your reviews. I'm so glad you've been enjoying this story. Thank you for your patience with me for the delay and please continue to be patient while I try to continue. I promise I will follow through to the end. :) **


	9. Chapter 9: The Visitor

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! And…eh, I don't know, this one doesn't thrill me as much for some reason. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I'll let you be the judge. **

**And this story has over 200 reviews now! Thank you all so much! I'll try my very best not to let you guys down. **

**On with the show! **

Chapter Nine

The Visitor

"Where is he?" Fishlegs asked, sighing impatiently. "Why are we always waiting on him?"

Hiccup didn't answer, but he shared Fishlegs' irritation. Snotlout was almost half an hour late for the lesson. Granted he was often late, but usually by no more than ten minutes, fifteen at the absolute most.

"Do you think he forgot?" Astrid asked.

"He's probably sleeping," Tuffnut supplied.

"It's two in the afternoon," Fishlegs objected.

"So?" Ruffnut inquired with complete sincerity. No one bothered to answer her.

"We'll just start without him then," Hiccup decided.

"You sure?" Fishlegs queried. "He'll be pretty mad…"

"Then maybe he'll learn to be on time," Hiccup said shortly.

No one countered him, but the teens exchanged silent glances. All of them, including the twins, had noticed that Hiccup hadn't been quite himself that day. He was more short-tempered than usual, even by his post-suicide-attempt standards. Each of them wondered what had caused this change but no one dared to ask the question aloud.

Hiccup could sense their silent musings and confused looks to one another but pretended not to notice. "All right," he said in a businesslike tone. "Today we're going to start with…"

He trailed off, looking around as the sound of whooping caught his attention. Snotlout came streaking into the arena atop Hookfang, looking happier than he'd been for a long time. "You guys will never believe what I just saw!" he called, not even bothering to land his dragon. The Nightmare swooped in a big circle overhead, much to the annoyance of Toothless, who growled quietly in his throat.

"This again?" Astrid said with a huff. "You're going to make us guess instead of just telling us?"

"Was it a rainbow-colored chicken?" Tuffnut asked. "Because if it isn't, I'm not interested."

"Was it a rainbow-colored yak?" Ruffnut inquired excitedly.

"Ooh, I'm interested again!" Tuffnut said quickly.

"What is it, Snotlout?" Hiccup called up to his cousin, his voice betraying his impatience.

"Not gonna tell you!" Snotlout replied, grinning infuriatingly down at them all. "You'll have to come see for yourself!"

And with that, he flew out of the arena. The other exchanged disgruntled glances before they followed suit, taking off into the clear afternoon sky and soaring over the ocean surrounding the island.

Hiccup saw the boat first and squinted down at it. The sail was unmarked, so he couldn't tell at first glance if it might belong to an enemy tribe. But then he got a closer look at the passengers, and his eyes widened.

Astrid saw them at the same time. "Oh my gods," she breathed. "It's…"

"Heather!" Fishlegs cried excitedly.

The black-haired beauty waved up at them happily, if perhaps a bit nervously. After all, the last time she'd been on Berk she had tried to trick the teens into spilling their dragon training secrets to the Outcasts. She'd had a good reason to: Alvin the Treacherous was holding her parents captive and threatening to kill them if she didn't deliver. The plot hadn't gone according to plan at all: she'd been found out and Hiccup and the others had had to battle Alvin and the Outcasts to re-obtain their Book of Dragons as well as free Heather's parents. They'd departed on decent if shaky terms, and she clearly wasn't sure if she was still welcome on the island.

"Hello," she called up to them as they all hovered around the boat. Behind her, her parents were looking quite nervous. They obviously weren't as trusting of the dragons as their daughter was. "It's nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Hiccup replied, smiling. Heather looked relieved at his reaction. "What brings you out here?"

"We got caught in a storm," Heather explained. "It blew us off-course. We've been trying to find our way home for days with no success and we're almost out of food. Do you think we could dock at Berk?"

"Of course!" Hiccup said. "We'll lead you there. This way!"

The dragon riders swooped around and directed the little boat toward the island. Heather and her parents disembarked as Hiccup landed Toothless, holding out his hand to help them step onto the pier. "Thank you," Heather said sincerely, smiling sweetly at him.

Hiccup blinked and stammered in reply, "Uh…y-you're welcome."

Stoick greeted them at the entrance to the village. "Welcome, friends," he said. "How can we help you?"

Heather's parents proceeded to explain their predicament, and Stoick graciously allowed them to stay on Berk for a few days while they rested up and restocked their supplies. "Looks like I'll be here for a little while," Heather said to the other teens, sounding happy if just a little apprehensive.

"That's great!" Hiccup replied with perhaps a bit more enthusiasm than was strictly warranted. In some vague corner of his mind, he noticed that Astrid didn't look too excited about this news but she didn't say anything.

"Well, we were just about to start a training session," Hiccup went on. "Would you like to join us?"

"Sure!" Heather said, and then she added with a quick glance at the others, "If that's okay."

The boys had no problem with it and Ruffnut seemed not to care either way. Astrid was the only one who seemed to have reservations, but she merely shrugged and made no objection.

Heather stayed by Hiccup's side throughout the entire afternoon, keeping slightly back as he instructed the other dragon riders but close enough to be part of the action. The other boys, none of whom seemed much bothered by the fact that this was the same girl that had once tried to betray them, constantly vied for her attention, and she treated them all with equal kindness and (especially in Snotlout's case) patience.

Astrid alone seemed to remember that Heather had proven herself to be a conniver and a thief. Every time Hiccup pointed something out or explained a concept to her, she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling him off for it. _Don't you remember what she did last time? _she thought. _Have you forgotten how she tricked all of you? Am I the only one who knows or cares that this girl is capable of so much trouble? _

Apparently she was. But she and Hiccup were on such unstable terms that she didn't dare speak against the girl. Besides, wasn't it possible that Heather was being true this time? After all, she had been trying to save her parents when they'd first met, and her parents were both safe and sound. So there was no reason for her to suspect Heather of anything…right?

The lesson ended and the group headed up to the Great Hall for dinner. Hiccup hung back slightly from the rest, his prosthetic slowing him down a bit. Heather and Astrid hovered alongside him, though Astrid couldn't help but notice with dismay that he seemed to prefer the black-haired girl's company to her own.

"I'm starving!" Tuffnut declared as they neared the Great Hall. "I hope there's mutton!"

"I hope there's yak butter parfaits!" Snotlout said. "I've been craving one for weeks!"

"We know," Astrid remarked. "You haven't shut up about it."

"What do you hope they have, Hiccup?" Fishlegs asked, looking back over his shoulder at him.

Hiccup barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "Food."

The others roared with laughter. "Good one, Hiccup!" Ruffnut chortled.

Heather noticed that Hiccup's smile seemed forced. She frowned. Something was wrong, she could sense it. She'd thought there'd been something off all day, but the tension was so thick now that it could be hacked with an axe. Why was everyone acting so overly-cheerful? And why was there an unmistakable trace of misery behind the happy mask Hiccup was wearing?

"Hey," she said, and Hiccup looked up at her. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he replied a little too vehemently. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

Heather couldn't come up with a good reply to that, so she said nothing. Glancing around at the others, she thought she saw them exchange looks that might have been guilty. Her confusion mounted but she didn't comment further.

Things continued to be uncomfortable throughout dinner. They all sat together at the same table, and while the other teens did their best to carry a conversation, Hiccup refrained from contributing unless he was spoken to directly. Any replies he gave were no more than two or three words. _This from the boy who'd always loved to talk about dragons? _Heather wondered. _What happened to change him so much? _

The moment he was done eating, Hiccup stood and said, "I'll see you all later." And without another word he departed, not even glancing back at his friends. The other teens slumped a little in their seats. Astrid in particular looked dismayed at Hiccup's sudden departure.

"Uh…" Heather hesitated. "Is…is everything okay…?"

"Everything's fine," Astrid snapped, glaring at her. Heather flinched back and dropped her gaze. Astrid's face softened a little bit, and her voice was slightly gentler when she added, "It's a personal matter between us and Hiccup. That's all."

Heather didn't press any further, but she excused herself not long afterward. She slipped out of the hall and looked around in time to see a big black blur dart across the sky. Following it with her eyes, she recognized it for what it was at once: Hiccup riding his beloved dragon Toothless. And they were landing on one of the cliffs that overlooked the ocean.

She paused for just a moment. Then she started walking toward them.

…

Hiccup loved to watch the sun set. There was something so utterly peaceful about seeing the big ball of light sink lower and lower, showering the ocean with its golden rays. The sky hosted a range of colors from orange to pink to dark blue. The scene was breathtakingly beautiful, and Hiccup sighed as he observed it from his spot on the cliff. Behind him, Toothless crooned, and he smiled easily.

"It's nice up here, isn't it bud?" he said quietly, wrapping his arms around his knees. "Peaceful and quiet. No fathers trying to cater to your every whim, no Gobber to shower you with worthless praise, no friends to try including you in their conversations, no Astrid trying to win you back…" He trailed off, his smile fading.

After several minutes of silence he muttered, "She's never going to give up, is she?"

Toothless hummed in his throat, a sound Hiccup took to be an agreement. He huffed. "Perfect. So she's going to keep fighting until I either let her win or throw myself off the cliff. Whichever comes first."

Toothless growled faintly, displeased by Hiccup's suggestion of ending his own life.

"Figure of speech, bud," he quickly added. Then he sighed. "Oh Thor, what am I gonna do?"

"Well, I've heard that confession is good for the soul."

Hiccup twisted around, his heart leaping into his throat. Heather was standing at the edge of the forest, her arms behind her back. She looked as if she wasn't sure she was supposed to be there. She seemed ready to turn and bolt at the slightest sign that her presence was unwelcome.

When Hiccup didn't speak, she asked, "Um…may I join you?"

Hiccup unstuck his throat. "Sure! By all means." He gestured for her to sit beside him. Smiling in relief, she did just that. She glanced at Toothless, who observed her warily but not unkindly. He seemed to understand that she held no ill will toward them.

When Hiccup didn't speak, she said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Hiccup shook his head. "Don't worry about it. To be honest, I have been a little lonely lately. It's nice to have some company."

Heather raised her eyebrows. "But what about your friends?"

Hiccup looked away and didn't answer.

"I'm sorry," she went on quickly. "I don't mean to pry. It's just…" She hesitated. "…well, all day I've gotten the impression that something's wrong. Do you, I don't know…want to talk about it?"

Hiccup opened his mouth to speak, could think of nothing to say, and closed it again.

Heather tried a different tactic. She looked out at the ocean and sighed, "It's so beautiful, isn't it? The sunset, I mean."

"Yeah, it is," Hiccup replied, relieved at the change of subject. Then after a moment he added, "I used to come up here all the time when I was a kid. It's always been a great place for me to relax and try to shake off whatever's been weighing me down lately."

"I understand," Heather said, nodding. "There's a little spot in the forest back home I like to go to. When the sun's in the exact right spot, it shines through the leaves of the trees and reflects off a little pool of water. It's one of the most beautiful spots I've ever seen. I like to go there when I'm upset. It helps clear my head."

Hiccup smiled. "Exactly." Then he leaned back and sighed, "I could just go to sleep right here and now."

To prove his point he yawned widely and stretched his arms. His right sleeve fell back slightly, revealing a thin white scar on his wrist. Heather frowned. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to it. "I don't remember seeing it last time I was here."

Hiccup followed her gaze and his face went pale. He hurriedly covered his scar with his sleeve again and didn't meet her eyes, nor did he answer.

"Hiccup…?"

He looked at her, and she was startled to see that his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

"Oh Hiccup," Heather gasped. "What is it? What's wrong?" When he didn't answer, she added, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But…if it'll help…?" She fell silent, waiting to see what he'd do.

Hiccup took a deep breath. "I…I don't know where to start," he admitted.

"Try from the beginning," Heather replied with a gentle smile.

Hiccup grinned weakly. The expression quickly faded. "I…I tried to kill myself," he mumbled.

Whatever Heather was expecting, this wasn't it. Her jaw dropped and she didn't speak for several seconds. "But…why?" she managed to breathe at length.

Hiccup sighed. "A few months ago, my dad got a letter from Mogadon, the chief of the Meathead Tribe, saying that he was interested in meeting the 'Dragon Conqueror.'"

"You?" she verified. "Mogadon wanted to meet you?"

Hiccup nodded. "Dad was worried that Mogadon would try to kidnap me and force me to train dragons for him, so he came up with a plan to protect me. He…called a meeting and told the entire village to treat me like, well…a hiccup. Like I was worthless. They pretended that Snotlout was the Dragon Conqueror because Dad figured he was strong enough to deter Mogadon from trying to kidnap or attack him. And to make me as insignificant a target as possible, everyone turned on me and acted like I was…useless…" He made a face at the word. It still left an unpleasant taste on his tongue when he said it, even now.

"That's…that's awful," Heather said, looking stunned. "The whole village was in on this?"

"Yes," Hiccup confirmed. "Everyone. Dad, Gobber, Astrid…they all beat me down and made fun of me and made my life miserable. It went on for about two months. Toward the end of it, Dad took Toothless away from me." He looked back at his dragon, who whined as he sensed his human's inner turmoil. Heather looked at the Night Fury too, feeling her heart break for Hiccup. She knew how close he was to Toothless. She could only imagine the kind of pain he'd felt.

"It was too much for me to handle," Hiccup went on. "So one night I…I slit my wrist. I decided that I didn't want to live with that kind of pain anymore, especially if I couldn't have Toothless with me to help keep me sane." He paused. "You must think me a total coward."

"No!" Heather protested fiercely. Hiccup's eyes widened a little. "No, not at all, Hiccup! You're one of the bravest, strongest people I know. The fact you tried to commit suicide doesn't tell me that you're a coward. It tells me that they all hurt you in ways I can't even comprehend."

Hiccup stared at her for a moment, stunned. Then he smiled weakly. "Thank you, Heather. It…means a lot, to hear you say that." He took another deep breath and continued, "Anyway, Dad found me before I could bleed out and got me help in time. When I woke up he explained everything." He let out a hollow laugh. "I, ah…didn't take it too well."

"I bet you were pretty angry," Heather mused.

Hiccup snorted. "That's a massive understatement. I yelled at him, said he didn't think, pretty much called him a terrible father, and told him I hated him. Him and everyone else. I just couldn't believe it. They thought deceiving me like that was better than telling me the truth! It still doesn't make sense to me, and it's been months!"

He breathed rather heavily for a few seconds. Then he calmed down and muttered, "I…I just can't move on from it. I've tried, believe me. I tried to forgive them all for treating me so badly, but it's been a lot harder than I thought it would be. Every time I see them, I can't help but think about what they did, and no matter how many times I tell myself that it's over and they were just trying to protect me, I can't forget the pain they caused. I can't trust any of them, not even my own father…especially not him."

He fell silent. Heather reached out and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What happened with Mogadon?" she asked at length. "Did he ever come and try to kidnap the Dragon Conqueror?"

Hiccup huffed. "Well, he came here. But he was nothing but nice the whole time he was on the island. We stopped pretending that Snotlout was the Dragon Conqueror and were totally honest with him. I showed him how to train dragons with patience and kindness and he seemed pretty receptive to it. He never once lifted a finger to cause me harm…unlike my own people, who cut me down in an attempt to keep me safe." He cracked a cold smile. "Ironic, huh?"

There was a moment's silence.

"So that's why everyone's acting so strange?" Heather asked. "They're trying to erase what they did to you?"

"Pretty much," Hiccup said. "You see, I told them all that I would try to forgive them, but I couldn't trust them. So now they've all been trying to earn my trust back by making me feel important." He shook his head. "It's not enough. And the trouble is, I don't know what they'll have to do in order to repair the damage." There was a beat. "Astrid's the worst. We broke up after what happened, and she's been trying every trick in the book to win my affections again. To be honest, it's starting to drive me crazy."

"I can imagine," Heather murmured. She was thinking about Astrid's reaction to her question in the Great Hall from a new perspective.

Hiccup inhaled deeply. "Thank you, Heather," he said after a moment. "It's nice to have someone to talk to about it." Toothless barked indignantly and he quickly added, "Someone who can speak Norse, I mean."

Heather giggled and then leaned in a little closer. "You're welcome, Hiccup. I…I am so sorry that this has happened to you. You didn't deserve this. You…you are a sweet, kind, and wonderful young man. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, and I am so very sorry that you were subjected to such pain."

They gazed at each other for a moment.

And then, without even making a conscious decision to do so, Hiccup bent down and kissed her.

Heather's eyes flew wide open in shock, but she didn't fight back. Instead she pressed herself into him, wrapping her arms around him and relaxing into his embrace. A moment later she let her eyes flutter closed and started kissing him back, blissfully unaware of everything around her. She forgot that Toothless was watching them with bright, confused eyes. She forgot she was sitting on a cliff on the Isle of Berk while her parents ate in the Great Hall. She forgot everything except her own name, and she was starting to wonder if she was about to forget that too.

They broke apart after almost a full minute, gasping for breath. They looked into each other's eyes warily, as if surprised at themselves and afraid that they'd overstepped some kind of boundary. But the feelings of guilt never came, and soon they were smiling sheepishly. Then they leaned in and kissed again.

Neither of them noticed the dark shape standing just within the forest's shelter. Neither noticed the thin figure as it peered out at them from behind a tree. Neither of them heard the faint gasp it let slip as it watched them.

And neither of them saw Astrid as she whirled around and ran away, heartbroken tears streaming silently down her face.

**A/N: I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. Thank you for your continuing patience with me as I attempt to finish this story. I hope you're still enjoying it! **


	10. Chapter 10: Conflicted

**A/N: Wow! What a response from you all. This story jumped from 202 reviews up to 254! That's…astounding! Thank you, really, I don't know what to say…I didn't realize having Hiccup kiss Heather would elicit that kind of response from you all. **

**I'd love to answer all your questions and concerns regarding this particular plot thread, but I'm afraid doing so would spoil the plot of the story. This chapter, however, should make things a little clearer. I've said it before, but it bears repeating: I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story. I hope you'll forgive me for the delays between chapters, but hopefully I'll be able to post more frequently now. I had to take a step back and reanalyze where the plot was going, but now I'm more confident that it will work out. It's about to start gearing up for the climax: there's only five chapters left to write. I hope as always you continue to enjoy it. :) **

**So without further ado, on with the show! **

Chapter Ten

Conflicted

Needless to say, the village received quite a shock the next day when Hiccup and Heather entered town square hand-in-hand. People stared openly at them as Hiccup walked about the marketplace, doing his weekly shopping for Stoick once again. They both could hardly fail to notice the attention they were receiving, but they tried to ignore the questioning looks and quiet murmurs. Heather felt incredibly self-conscious about it, but she stayed silent for Hiccup's sake, choosing to bear it all in silence as he followed him from cart to cart. As for Hiccup, he'd endured far worse things than a few stares and whispers, so he didn't much care.

"For you," he said as they stood by the fruit-seller's stand, handing her an apple.

She smiled sweetly and replied, "Thank you," as she took the ripe red fruit from his hand. She saw the fruit-seller glance at his wife with an unspoken question in his eyes but pretended not to notice.

Once the shopping was complete, he had to return to the forge, but he invited her to stick around if she wished. She did, and so she watched as he hammered and chiseled and shaped tools of all kinds. She asked many questions, and he answered them all with a smile. She did not annoy him like others did when they interrogated him over the finer points of blacksmithing. Indeed, he found her honest curiosity rather endearing. Gobber kept an eye on his apprentice all day but never said anything about the boy's new amour, for which they were both intensely grateful.

There was only one really awkward moment that afternoon: Astrid stopped by the forge. She alleged it was merely to have her axe sharpened, but as the weapon was in fine shape Hiccup suspected she'd merely wanted to talk to him. At any rate, when Astrid saw Heather hovering outside the fiery heat of Gobber's shop, she froze in her tracks, her eyes widening with surprise and what might have actually been fear. But then she resumed walking, keeping her body stiff and upright. She barely acknowledged Heather and handed her axe to Hiccup. "I'd like to have this sharpened, please," she said in a quiet monotone that he'd never heard her speak in before.

He raised his eyebrows as he observed the state of the blade but nodded nonetheless. "Right away," he said, forcing some cheer into his voice. He wasn't going to let her ruin his relatively good mood. He turned away and busied himself with the chore, all the while feeling her eyes boring into his back. She didn't say a word to Heather the whole time.

When he handed the axe back to its owner, she said, "Thanks," and handed over some money.

In a brave attempt at being friendly, Hiccup asked, "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

She looked up at him so fast he could have sworn he heard her neck pop. Her eyes were alight with a sudden blazing hope. Cursing silently, Hiccup quickly added, "At the Academy?"

"Oh." Her face fell noticeably. "Yeah, I'll be there." Then she left.

Dinner was uncomfortable too. Heather joined the teens at their table again, sitting beside Hiccup. The others didn't seem to know what to make of her presence, but Fishlegs valiantly tried to keep conversation going between them all. Heather participated willingly in the hope that it would alleviate some of the tension she felt surrounding them, and even Hiccup spoke with ease and a smile on his face. Only Astrid did not participate in their discussion, keeping her head down and barely touching her food. Once or twice Hiccup was certain he saw tears swimming in her eyes, and for some reason his chest ached at the sight. He had no idea why, though.

The next day was no less awkward, as Hiccup brought Heather into the Academy for their lesson. Allowing her to sit behind him on Toothless' back, he demonstrated the maneuvers they would be practicing that afternoon. When the Night Fury spread his wings, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist to stay in the saddle. Hiccup smiled but gave no other sign that he noticed. The others, however, all exchanged glances, and Astrid bit her lip and looked away.

After another nearly-silent dinner, Astrid decided she could take it no longer. When Hiccup and Heather excused themselves and left the Great Hall, she stood up to follow them. "Astrid?" Fishlegs hissed. "What are you doing?"

"I need to talk to Hiccup," she replied without inflection.

"Astrid, don't," Fishlegs cautioned. "Just let him be."

But Astrid ignored him and hurried from the hall.

"I just keep striking out," Snotlout muttered. "First with Astrid and now with Heather. When am I ever gonna find a girl?"

The twins snickered and Fishlegs rolled his eyes. None of them answered him.

Astrid emerged into the gathering night and saw the two lovebirds walking a short distance away, their hands entwined. The sight made her want to break something, but she buried these feelings and jogged over to them. "Hiccup?" she called, and to her credit, she was able to stop her voice from shaking.

He looked around in surprise. "What is it, Astrid?"

"Could I have a word, please?" Then, half-glancing at Heather, she added, "Privately?"

Hiccup frowned suspiciously and looked over at Heather. "It's okay," she said, smiling gently. "You go on. I've got some things to take care of anyway."

Hiccup looked as though he really didn't want to go, but he nodded and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Then he turned and followed Astrid a short distance away, coming to a stop in an alley between two houses. Heather, tiptoeing carefully, hid herself around a corner and listened, a worried frown creasing her forehead.

"What is this about?" Hiccup asked without preamble.

Astrid floundered for a moment. Now that she was alone with him, all she wanted to do was throw herself on him and kiss him and beg for him to come to his senses. But she held these impulses in check and took a deep breath. "Hiccup," she said slowly, "I…I'm worried that maybe…well…don't you think that you might be rushing into this thing with Heather a bit?"

Hiccup raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

Astrid hesitated. "It's just…she's only been here a couple of days and you're suddenly doing everything with her! You shop with her, you work at the forge with her, you eat with her, you ride Toothless with her, you…you even kiss her! Hiccup, you hardly know her!"

"Is there a point to this?" Hiccup asked coolly, crossing his arms.

"Hiccup, she could be playing you false!" Astrid said earnestly. "Have you considered that? Don't you think it's possible that she's just taking advantage of you?"

Hiccup's eyes narrowed slightly. "I don't see what she has to gain by being with me, Astrid. I don't really have anything to offer. She's not asking about our dragon training secrets this time. She merely wants to be with me. Is that really so hard to comprehend? I seem to recall you once wanted to date me just for the sake of being with me. Do you think you're the only one who could actually like me as I am?"

Astrid's face flushed. "No, of course not," she huffed. "But this is Heather! Little Miss Innocent, remember? The same Heather that put your brain under siege so she could get what she wanted? Hiccup, she can't be trusted! You know that! She's proven it before!"

A flash of anger went across Hiccup's face. "That's rich, coming from you!" he snapped. "You've proven yourself to be just as cold and untrustworthy. Do I really need to remind you of that?" He pulled back his right sleeve to show her his scar.

Astrid couldn't have looked more shocked if he had slapped her. She was a moment in replying. "I…that's…that's not the point," she stammered.

"Then what is?" Hiccup demanded. "I'll admit she isn't perfect. I remember what she did. But Heather never attacked me directly. She never caused me the kind of pain you did. And besides, she only did it to get her parents back safely from the Outcasts. You caused me much more pain than she ever did, and your reasons were far less noble."

Astrid opened her mouth to reply, but all that came out was a strangled croak.

"Face it, Astrid," Hiccup went on, "you're simply trying to get between me and Heather so that you can have me all to yourself. Never mind that I don't want to date you anymore. Of course, what I want has hardly ever mattered, has it? You've only been thinking about winning me back, as if I'm some kind of conquest and not a living, breathing human who can think and feel for himself. You haven't changed one bit."

And with that, he pushed past her and reemerged into the darkening twilight. Astrid did not move from her spot for several minutes. She did not even turn to watch him depart. If she had, she might have seen the flicker of sadness that crossed his features, the faint glimmer of guilt that sparked in his eyes. But as it was, she saw nothing.

And then her knees buckled, and she hit the ground sobbing.

_He's right_, a nasty voice in her head scolded her. _He's right about you. You've never once considered that maybe he doesn't love you anymore. Maybe you really did some irreparable damage when you turned your back on him. If so, all your efforts to win him back are in vain. He'll never love you. Never again. And you have no one to blame but yourself. You were so busy thinking about yourself that you ruined your only chance at love. And now it's done and you can't change it… _

"Astrid?"

She hiccupped and looked around. It didn't improve her mood to see Heather standing at the entrance to the alley. "Go away," she said with a sniff. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I know," Heather replied, and there was a sad note in her voice that Astrid failed to figure out. "You probably hate me right now. And I guess I can't blame you."

"What do you want?" Astrid asked irritably. "Are you here to rub it in? Well go on, do your worst. You can't possibly make me feel worse than I do now."

"It's not my intention to make you feel worse," Heather said patiently, stepping into the alley and bending down beside her. It was a mark of how distraught Astrid was that she did not react to her presence at all. "Believe it or not, I was actually hoping to make you feel better."

That got Astrid's attention. She looked over at her, frowning. Her features hardened. "There's nothing you can say that can make me feel better."

Heather sighed. "I know you don't like me much, Astrid. Nor do you trust me. And I understand why. I know I did some bad things to you all in the past and that earning your trust is going to be difficult, perhaps impossible."

Her words struck a chord in Astrid, and despite herself, she softened. "What you did isn't nearly as bad as what I've done," she mumbled. Then she looked questioningly over at her.

"Hiccup told me everything," Heather confirmed, nodding.

Astrid sighed. "I figured he must have." She paused for a moment. "Maybe I should put what you did in the past and move on. After all, I've been trying to get Hiccup to forgive me for two months. I guess I'm not setting such a good example if I don't forgive you first."

Heather smiled slightly. "I appreciate your forgiveness," she said. "May I sit down?"

Astrid shrugged. "Sure, if you want."

Heather sat beside her and reached out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. The spiked shoulder pads were in the way, but Astrid found she didn't much mind the gesture regardless. Silence stretched between them for a few seconds.

Then Heather said conversationally, "You know, I think Hiccup still loves you."

Astrid blinked and looked over at her, her jaw dropping in shock. Her eyes sparked with the barest beginnings of hope. "Really?"

"Yes," Heather confirmed. "You see, I've been watching him since I got here. Whenever he looks at you, something happens in his eyes. I wasn't sure at first because it was gone before I was certain I'd even seen it, but now I'm pretty sure of it. Whenever he sees you, there's a little spark in his gaze, like something in him is stirring and trying to break free. But before it can, something else comes along and pushes it back down. That's why he looks away so quickly. The battle going on inside him hurts him, so he tries to suppress it."

"He loves me?" Astrid breathed. "You really think he still cares about me? Really? Even after everything I did to him he still loves me?"

"I think so," Heather said. "He's still hurting, Astrid, and whenever he looks at you he can't help but remember what he's gone through. But his feelings for you are still in there, buried beneath his pain, anger, and sadness. That's the battle he's fighting. He wants to recognize his affection for you but doesn't want to set himself up for more pain."

"But I would never hurt him again!" Astrid cried. "Never! I learned my lesson! I…I wish I could go back and undo it all and spare him. I wish it with everything I have. I would never hurt him like that again! I couldn't!"

"And I think he knows that," Heather assured her. "Deep down, I think he does. But remember, he's fighting his memories and worst nightmares, and they're powerful. I don't know what it's going to take for him to defeat his demons, Astrid. I wish I did, but I don't. It'll be something pretty big, I'd imagine. It has to be something incredible if it's going to break through all the mess that's suppressing his love."

Astrid slumped down. "Then it's hopeless," she moaned. "I've been trying to win his trust and affection back for two months with no success. What more can I possibly do? And besides…" She couldn't help but huff. "…he's got you now. Soon enough he'll totally forget about me."

But Heather shook her head. "He doesn't love me, Astrid."

"What?" Astrid stared at her. "But…he barely leaves your side these days!"

"I was in the right place at the right time," Heather explained with a shrug. "I was there for him when he needed to get all this off his chest. I'm an outside observer, someone who had no part in what happened to him. So he latched himself to me because he doesn't make any association between me and his pain. That's all there is to it. It's not deep or passionate, like what he has with you…yes, still has, present tense," she added with a faint smile.

Astrid smiled weakly back, but the expression quickly faded. "And…what about you?" she asked, sounding as if she didn't really want to know the answer. "Do you love him?"

Heather hesitated. "I like him, certainly," she said slowly. "But love? I hardly know him, so I don't think I do. Could I come to love him? I definitely think so. He's a great guy: sweet, charismatic, caring, brave, smart, funny…yes, I think I could learn to love him. But…" She elbowed Astrid playfully. "…his heart belongs to someone else, and despite my reputation I would never try to take him away from you. I wouldn't stoop quite that low."

Astrid laughed a bit, a slightly hysterical sound that she quickly silenced, putting a hand to her mouth. Lowering it, she asked, "So what now? Where do I go from here? I know that I can't win him back by pressuring him, and I don't know how to override his fear of being hurt again, so what do I do?"

"My advice," Heather said, "would be to back off for a little while. Let him relax. Right now, every time he sees you he expects you to make a play for his heart and it's driving him insane, so show him that you care enough about him to leave him alone if he so desires. Make sure he knows that you still want to be his friend and that you care about him, but don't press him. Let him figure out a few things on his own. He'll have an easier time remembering his affections for you if you let him breathe whenever he's around you."

Astrid considered this for a moment. Then she said, "I hadn't thought of that. I'll try it." She paused, and then with an awkward murmur she inquired, "And you? What are you going to do?"

"Not much," Heather answered easily. "My parents and I will only be here a few more days, but for that time I'm going to continue seeing him. He could really use this change. It might reawaken his normal desires enough for him to remember his attraction to you. Besides, I think at this point a breakup would crush him, and that's the last thing I want to do. If he wants to continue it after I leave – I understand you all have created something called 'air mail'? – then I'll go along with it. But don't worry, the moment he realizes he still has feelings for you, I'll let him go without any drama."

Astrid breathed an audible sigh of relief, and with complete sincerity she said, "Thank you, Heather. I…I'm so glad we had this talk."

"Me too," Heather replied. "Believe me when I say that I hope everything works out for you."

Astrid didn't respond, but her smile of gratitude was answer enough.

…

The next morning, Astrid approached Hiccup as he worked in the forge. Heather saw her coming first and raised her eyebrows. Astrid met her eyes and nodded almost imperceptibly, and Heather smiled.

Hiccup looked up and stiffened noticeably, but…was she imagining it? Astrid thought she saw that little flicker of something in his eyes that Heather had told her about.

_Maybe it's true_, she thought hopefully. _Maybe he still loves me after all… _

"What do you want, Astrid?" Hiccup asked, his voice cold and rather wary.

Astrid held her hands out in a peaceful gesture. "To apologize, Hiccup."

He blinked. He hadn't expected that.

"I've done a lot of thinking about what you said last night," she went on. "And you were right. I've been selfish and there's no excuse for the way I've been acting. When you truly love someone, you put their needs before your own, so…" She nodded. "…I'm going to do just that. Please forgive me for upsetting you. I…" Her voice quivered slightly but she fought to get it under control again. "…I hope you will be happy. Truly."

Then she turned and walked away, keeping her head high even though she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry. Heather might have been right, but it still hurt. Still, she was determined to remain strong, hoping and praying that everything would work out somehow.

Hiccup watched her depart without a word, unable to comprehend what had just happened. In some vague corner of his mind he knew he should be relieved: after all, it seemed as though she'd finally taken the hint and stopped pursuing him. He should have been able to relax and breathe again. He should have been happy.

But as he gazed at Astrid's retreating back, he remained just as confused and troubled as ever before.

**A/N: Hopefully that clears up some of your worries. In this story, Heather is quite genuine. I know there's a tendency in fan fiction to play up the conniving side of her character, but I actually rather like her in the TV show and think she's really a good person at heart. So that's the angle I'm playing up with this. **

**Hopefully the next chapter will be done soon. It's called "Fallout," so as you can imagine it should be fairly intense. I'm looking forward to getting to work on it. Thanks again for the continuing support and patience! **


	11. Chapter 11: Fallout

**A/N: First of all, to Guest reviewer: I am aware that Litwick723 is writing a story with a similar premise. He asked for my permission before he began and I granted it. But thanks for looking out for me! :) **

**Well, here starts the beginning of the end. After this there will be only four chapters left. I'm getting pretty excited to write the climax of this story and I hope you enjoy what I have planned. **

**And without further ado, on with the show! **

Chapter Eleven

Fallout

Astrid was true to her word. While Hiccup did see her around the village, she was nothing more than perfectly polite and courteous to him. When he and Heather joined the other teens for a lesson at the Academy that afternoon, she smiled at him and acted as though they had never been anything more than good friends. She answered his questions with ease and obeyed his every command without complaint. The others gaped at her in amazement. This was a very different Astrid than the one who had been sulking and constantly on the brink of tears throughout the previous couple of days. What could have possibly happened to make her change her attitude so completely?

But Heather saw what the others did not. Whenever Hiccup and his friends would look away, Astrid would let her façade crumble just a bit, allowing her true misery to show for only a moment. Every once in a while the two girls would meet each other's eyes, and Heather tried to convey silent support to her. Whether Astrid received her wordless messages, she wasn't sure, but she managed to maintain her false yet convincing cheer throughout the afternoon and evening. It was Astrid too who carried the conversation during dinner. Even Hiccup seemed surprised at the total turnaround, though it was hard to tell if it pleased him or not.

"So when will you and your parents be leaving?" Fishlegs asked Heather as the meal came to an end. "I understand you have all the supplies you need."

It was an innocent question asked out of pure curiosity, but Hiccup's face fell nonetheless. He had completely forgotten that Heather did not live on Berk. It had been so nice to have her beside him that it had slipped his mind.

"I don't know," Heather replied honestly. "I imagine in a day or two. We do need to return home." Then, looking sidelong at Hiccup, she quickly added, "Thank you all for your hospitality. We appreciate it so much."

"You're welcome," Hiccup said, though his voice suddenly lacked the warmth such a phrase usually required.

Astrid looked uncomfortable for a second or two, but she put on a brave face and said, "We're glad you could spend some time with us. And you're welcome to come back anytime you want. Maybe next time we can find you a dragon of your own."

Hiccup looked sharply at her, surprised. What had happened to the Astrid who was always so suspicious of Heather? This was almost an entirely different person. But he decided to think about that later. He returned his gaze to Heather and said, "Yes, of course. And with a dragon, the trip would be a lot shorter. You could visit more often."

Heather smiled sweetly at the transparent plea. "That would be wonderful. Thank you."

The group departed from the Great Hall shortly afterward. Hiccup and Heather headed toward the hut where the guests had been staying, their hands entwined as usual, but there was a stiffness in Hiccup's shoulders that suggested he wasn't at all pleased or content. Heather could sense it but didn't remark on it as they walked on, waiting for him to make the first move.

"Do you really have to go?" he asked quietly after a moment.

She looked over at him and nodded. "I'm afraid so," she said. "Berk is a wonderful place, and you are all such dear friends. But this isn't my home, Hiccup."

"It could be," he suggested hopefully. "I mean, if you wanted it to…" His face reddened.

Heather came to a stop and reached up to stroke his cheeks. "That's kind of you to offer," she said. "But that wouldn't be fair to my parents. They want to return home, and yes, I do too. I have friends there that I don't want to abandon." She kissed him. "I'll miss you, though. And hey, it's not good-bye. I'll come back to visit as often as I can. And like you said, if I get a dragon then I can return more often. So don't act like this is a final farewell, Hiccup. We'll see each other again soon. And besides," she added with a faint laugh, "I haven't left yet. I'm still here, probably for another day. So let's focus on enjoying that time and not worry about what comes after, okay?"

Hiccup nodded and replied, "Okay," but his expression said clearly that her answer disappointed him. It wasn't hard to figure out why. She'd been a welcome change to the usual routine of tense conversations and awkward encounters, someone who'd had no part in what had happened to him and had been there to comfort him. Dear Thor, what was he going to do when she left? Were things going to return to the way they were before?

The thought was so abhorrent to him that he suddenly wondered if he was going to be sick right then and there.

They said good night and went their separate ways. Toothless, who had been dozing at the base of the hill, looked up at the sound of his human's approach and purred happily. Hiccup tried to smile but couldn't quite pull it off. "Hey bud," he murmured. Then he looked up at his house standing at the top of the knoll and grimaced. "Mind if I ride you up there tonight?"

Toothless didn't mind in the slightest, though he did seem worried by the tone of Hiccup's voice. He let his friend climb onto his back and bounded up the hill, pausing in front of the house to let him slide off. "Thanks," Hiccup said quietly, reaching out to stroke his dragon. Toothless crooned.

He reached out to open the door but paused, his hand still extended, as voices reached his ears from inside. He recognized his father's quiet rumble: "I'm going to tell him."

"He's not going to take it well," said another voice, one he recognized as Gobber's.

"He has no reason to take it badly," Stoick said. "It's not like last time. I learned from that mistake. This time I'm going to be totally open with him. He still probably won't like the plan, but at least this time he'll know what's going on." There was a pause, and then he continued earnestly, "I refuse to hurt him again. I made a huge error in judgment when I carried out that plan, but I'm not going to repeat that blunder. This time he will know. I will tell him everything."

Hiccup exchanged an uneasy glance with Toothless, who merely cocked his head in confusion. "This can't be good," he muttered. Then he reached out to open the door.

Stoick and Gobber were both sitting before the fire, wearing identical worried expressions on their faces. They looked around at the sound of Hiccup's entrance, and for a moment the three of them stared at each other. Hiccup's heart pounded: even if he hadn't overheard part of their conversation, he'd have noticed the tension that had sprung up between them. He could sense that something had changed, that something was coming, something he probably wasn't going to like…

"Hiccup," Stoick said after a moment. "There you are, son. Come here. There's something we need to talk about."

_Uh-oh. _

"Okay…" Hiccup said warily, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. He walked up to the fire pit, Toothless hovering uncertainly nearby. There was a pause.

"I received a letter today," Stoick said at last, holding up a scroll of paper. "It's from Madguts, Chief of the Murderous Tribe."

Hiccup felt his blood run cold. The Murderous Tribe? What in Odin's name did they want? Berk had virtually no contact with the most bloodthirsty group of Vikings in the entire Archipelago. They tended to keep pretty much to themselves, for even the most dimwitted of men didn't dare venture into Murderous territory. They didn't come by the name accidentally.

"Here," Stoick said, handing out the scroll. "Read it for yourself."

Hiccup took the scroll with trepidation, unrolled it, and started to read. He blinked and squinted, for the letter was poorly written and difficult to decipher.

_To Stoik the Vast, Cheef of the Hooligan Trib, _

_Greatings from the Merderus Trib. We have herd much about yor famus Dragon Conkerer, and we wuld very much like to meat him. We will be visiting Berk in a few weeks, and we wuld be very happie if yoo introdoocd us to him when we arive. If we like what we cee, then we will tak him back with us. If you resist us, we will declar war on Berk. _

_Yors sinseerly, _

_Madguts, Cheef of the Merderus Trib _

Hiccup looked up from the letter to see both Stoick and Gobber watching him intently. "He sure doesn't like to beat around the bush, does he?" he remarked, trying to keep his voice light. "Though his spelling could sure use some work."

Neither of them laughed.

"This is serious, Hiccup," Stoick said, standing up. "When Madguts threatens war, he means it."

"Yeah, I know, Dad," Hiccup replied wearily. "The name 'Murderous' kind of gave that away."

Stoick scowled, apparently irritated at his son's flippancy. "This isn't a time for jokes, son," he said stiffly. "We need to decide what we're going to do."

Hiccup considered for a moment. Then he said, "Well, I can see only one option. I give him what he wants."

Stoick's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. "What?!"

"Hiccup, have you lost your mind?" Gobber demanded.

"No," Hiccup answered, raising his eyebrows. "I'm just saying that the only way to avoid a war is if I show Madguts how to train dragons. It worked with Mogadon, I don't see why this should be any different."

But Stoick shook his head. "Hiccup, Madguts is nothing like Mogadon," he said. "He won't be satisfied with merely being taught how to train dragons. He's too brutish for that. He's going to want you, son. He'll want the famed Dragon Conqueror to do all the work for him. Which means he'll take you away from here with him. You'll be the most valuable weapon in his arsenal, and he won't hesitate to use force if he has to in order to seize you."

Hiccup frowned. "No offense, Dad, but you said pretty much the same thing about Mogadon, and he turned out to be fine."

"Mogadon isn't known as 'the Murderous,' though," Gobber pointed out. "Stoick is right, Hiccup. Madguts will use whatever means necessary to steal you away from Berk. If it means war, then it's war."

Hiccup pondered this for a minute. If what they were saying was true, then his preferred method of peaceably talking things through wasn't going to be effective. And if that was the case, then…

He nodded and squared his shoulders. "Then I guess we'd better start preparing for battle."

Stoick and Gobber blinked and looked at each other in surprise. And then as one they turned back to Hiccup and said, "No."

Hiccup stared at them. "No?" he repeated. "What do you mean, no? What other choice is there?"

"You can lay low until Madguts has left Berk," Stoick suggested. "We'll come up with a suitable excuse to explain your absence while you hide somewhere, perhaps in the cove. Then once Madguts is gone we'll come get you. Hopefully it won't be too long, and then everything will return to normal."

Hiccup didn't say anything for several minutes. He looked from Stoick, to Gobber, and then to Toothless, who merely gazed silently back. Then he returned his eyes to his father and said, "Dad, no, I'm not going to hide while the rest of you face Madguts. He's coming to Berk because of me, so I'll face him alongside you. If we all work together then I think we stand a decent chance of defeating him."

"A chance?" Stoick said, shaking his head. "Hiccup, that's a chance I don't want to take. You could be seriously hurt—"

"And so could you!" Hiccup interrupted heatedly. "I understand the concept of war, Dad. Occupational hazard, remember? I know the risks, but I'm not going to hide just because some overgrown illiterate Viking wants his hands on the Dragon Conqueror. I've dealt with his type before, I can handle it."

"Hiccup," Stoick said, sounding like he was trying to maintain some semblance of patience. "I fear your victories with Alvin and Dagur have made you complacent. Yes, they were both tremendous adversaries, and you handled them quite well. But Madguts is not Alvin, nor is he Dagur. Alvin was willing to imprison you but didn't want to actually kill you. He wanted you alive. Dagur was more interested in having Toothless than you, but he still had numerous chances to kill you and never took advantage of them. Madguts is not like that. He will take you, and if you resist him in any way, he'll torture you. And if that doesn't work, he will kill you. If he can't have you, then no one will. This is the kind of person we're dealing with, Hiccup. You haven't faced anything like him before, and I just don't think you're ready for that. I don't want to risk it."

Hiccup's eyes flashed. "Not ready?" he repeated. "Dad, I'm not a little kid anymore! I may not be the biggest or strongest Viking on the island, but I can hold my own. Especially if Toothless is there with me."

"The risks are still too great for my liking," Stoick said in his best this-discussion-is-over voice. "I don't want you facing Madguts, Hiccup. As both your chief and your father, I want you to be safe. So please, when the time comes, go to the cove with Toothless. We'll pack up some supplies for you so that you won't go hungry. And when Madguts leaves, we'll come fetch you and bring you back."

Hiccup's fists were clenched at his sides. He looked from Stoick to Gobber, perhaps looking for some support from his mentor. But the blacksmith was clearly on Stoick's side. No one said anything for a long time.

Then Stoick sighed. "I know it's hard, Hiccup. But I have to do what I feel is right. At least this way I know you'll be safe." Apparently satisfied that the argument was over, he turned away.

Hiccup reacted blindly, without thought. He reached out and seized an empty bowl that was sitting on the table, wound his arm back, and hurled it with all the strength he could muster at his father. It wasn't a very strong throw: despite years of working in the forge, his arms were still rather underdeveloped. Besides, Stoick's hair was so thick that the bowl merely bounced off the bushy red mass, hitting the floor with a clatter. In truth, the chief barely felt the attack.

But when he turned to look back at Hiccup, his jaw hanging open in shock, he looked as if his son had just thrown an axe instead of just a wooden dish. As if he'd thrown with intent to kill.

There was silence. Hiccup breathed heavily, his chest rising and falling as his anger mounted and boiled over. Toothless, sensing his human's rage, growled faintly. Gobber opened and closed his mouth like a fish. And Stoick just gaped at his son, uncomprehending.

And then Hiccup shouted, "You never learn, do you?! You just never learn!"

Stoick and Gobber exchanged looks of bewilderment mixed with – was it possible? – fear. Neither of them spoke.

"Nothing's changed!" Hiccup went on, his voice shaking with fury. "You haven't learned from your mistakes! I'm still a hiccup! Poor little runty Hiccup who can't take care of himself and needs to be coddled and protected because he's too damn weak and scrawny to defend himself! _I'm still Hiccup the Useless to you!_"

Stoick's heart sank to his feet. "No!" he croaked. "You're not useless, Hiccup! I know what you're capable of! I _did_ learn that! That's why I told you about Madguts' arrival instead of hiding it from you like I did with Mogadon! I know better than to pretend or hide the truth from you!"

Hiccup laughed mirthlessly. "Oh sure, you told me this time. Well that's just great. Instead of making me think I was useless by going behind my back, this time you've pretty much told me to my face. Gee thanks, Dad, that makes everything so much better!"

"I never said—"

"You didn't have to!" Hiccup barked. "You don't have to say the words! Words mean nothing! You can say you've learned and that you care and you have faith in my strength, but when you do crap like this it tells me that you're lying! You don't believe for a moment that I'm capable of handling the problem! You don't think I'm strong enough to face Madguts myself!"

"Whether you are or not is irrelevant!" Stoick said pleadingly. "I just want you to be safe! That's all I've ever wanted!"

Hiccup snorted. "You want me to be safe? Fine. I'll tell you how to keep me safe." He raised his right sleeve, revealing the white scar on his wrist, the light of the fire throwing it into sharp relief. Stoick visibly winced. "_Stop trying to protect me!_ Every time you try to keep me safe I end up getting hurt! So just leave me alone!"

And with that he stormed past his father and the blacksmith, Toothless scurrying along behind him. Stoick and Gobber watched them go with identical expressions of dismay on their faces, and they both flinched when they heard Hiccup's bedroom door slam shut.

"Well…that went well," Gobber remarked sadly.

Stoick couldn't articulate a reply.

Upstairs, Hiccup paced from one end of his bedroom to the other, fuming. Toothless stood on his upraised bed, watching his human with wide, I-don't-know-how-I-can-help eyes.

"I can't believe it…I just can't believe it…" Hiccup muttered as he stomped past, his prosthetic making a soft clunk with each step. "They never learn, do they? After everything I went through before at their hands…when are they going to see? When will they understand…?"

Toothless merely crooned concernedly. Hiccup paused in his pacing and looked over at his dragon. He sighed. "Am I being unfair?" he asked. "Am I overreacting? Maybe Dad really is just trying to do what's best for me…"

He thought about it for a moment. Perhaps he was blowing the whole thing out of proportion. He was feeling upset because Heather had just told him she would be leaving in a few days and he simply wasn't ready to face another disagreement with his father. If that was the case, then he ought to go downstairs and offer his father an apology. But…

His expression hardened. "But he doesn't know what's best for me! He never has! He says he just wants to protect me, but he drove me to suicide the last time he tried to keep me safe! I just…"

_You're not over it yet_, said a voice in his head. _You said you would forgive them, but it's clear that you haven't. _

The realization brought him up short. He stared blankly at the far wall, his mouth hanging open in stunned silence. Toothless warbled but he didn't even glance toward the dragon.

It was true. Despite his best attempts, he had failed to get past those two months of torture he'd suffered through. He'd promised to forgive Berk for their mistake, but he hadn't. He still harbored the anger and resentment toward them that had manifested within him when Stoick had revealed his plan. He hadn't forgiven them. He wasn't sure he _could _forgive them. If anything, his anger had only gotten stronger over the past several weeks. If only they'd stop treating him like he was unstable and just act like normal people…

He thought about what was facing him over the coming days. Heather and her parents would leave, and the only person who'd been able to offer him comfort and companionship would depart. He would be left alone with a village that treated him like he was made of eggshells. And Madguts the Murderous was on his way, so of course everyone was going to insist on him going into hiding. For his own good.

No. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take it anymore.

There was only one thing left for him to do.

Nodding resolutely, Hiccup turned to face Toothless and said, completely without inflection, "Bud, we're leaving Berk. Tonight."

**A/N: For those of you who don't know, Madguts the Murderous, like Mogadon the Meathead, is a character from the book series. The bad spelling is also something that gets referenced quite a bit in the books, so I thought I'd throw that in there for a little laugh. **

**I have a question to ask you all: are you interested in a "making of" chapter? Like a behind-the-scenes featurette on a DVD? It would be a piece in which I explain what went into writing this story: my inspirations, my reasons for taking the plot in the direction it went, why there was such a delay between the two halves, answers to some of the questions and concerns brought up by reviewers, that kind of thing. Anyone interested in such a thing? I'm not sure I'm going to do it, but I'll definitely consider it if enough people want to see it. **

**Also! I have a new story in the works. If you're enjoying this story I think you'll like it. It will be called **_**A Life Behind the Veil**_** and here's a basic plot synopsis: ****Separated from the other teens in a storm, Hiccup and Toothless crash land on an uncharted island. When he wakes up, Hiccup has no memory of who he is, where he comes from, or why there is a dragon beside him that seems to care about him. Even when he returns to Berk, he remembers nothing of his former life, but when painful memories start to resurface, he begins to question his identity, his family, his friends, and his very purpose. It will contain a lot of Hiccup-Toothless friendship/brotherhood fluff and plenty of angst, and I'm really excited to get started on it. I keep telling myself to wait until I'm done with **_**Hiccup the Useless **_**before beginning another story, but I might not be able to help myself. XD **

**Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this story! Hopefully more will be here soon. And again, thank you all for your reviews! I know I keep saying that, but I really can't thank you enough. :) **


	12. Chapter 12: Dragon Island

**A/N: Guest: I'm sorry you're not interested in a making-of chapter, but others are. Regarding your request for me to "get on with this story and this story alone," I can only go as fast as my muse allows, and I have so many other stories running through my mind that sometimes my attention gets diverted. As for "****the other stories [I] chuck out which are just shit au stories that no one wants to read****," I think it's clear from the follows, favs, and reviews they're getting that they **_**are**_** being read and even enjoyed. **

**To the rest of you, thanks again for your patience. I know it's going a bit slowly, but I'm getting close to the ending, so hopefully updates will be a bit more frequent. Here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. :) **

Chapter Twelve

Dragon Island

_Dad, _

_Toothless and I have left Berk. I'm sorry, but I just can't continue to be Hiccup the Useless, which is all I have been ever since you set your stupid plan into motion. I have tried to forgive you all for that, but I haven't been able to. Not while you still treat me like I might fall apart if you so much as look at me the wrong way. Don't you realize that acting like I'm fragile only kept the memories of what you did alive and fresh in my mind? Why couldn't you just treat me like a human being? It's all I ever wanted, even before I met Toothless. And yet it's the one thing you continue to deny me. _

_So we've left. I can't take it anymore. I won't tell you where we've gone, and please don't come looking for me. I want to be alone with Toothless. He's the only one who ever treated me like an equal, and he's a dragon for Thor's sake! I don't know if or when I'll come back. It might be never. I have to figure a few things out before I even consider returning, and I suggest you all do some heavy thinking of your own in the meantime. Try to figure out where you went wrong, because I can't be a part of you again until you do and have taken steps to fix the problem. Maybe it will be easier for you without me there. I know it will be easier for me. _

_I know you were only trying to protect me, and that in some twisted way you actually care about me. And for some reason I still love you, Dad. I'm just very angry and still hurting, and I need some time and space. Maybe we all do. _

_Your son, _

_Hiccup_

Stoick had read the note so many times he practically had it memorized, but that didn't stop him from reading it one more time. With each word he felt his heart constrict tighter and tighter until he thought it might just shatter into a thousand pieces.

He had found the note lying on Hiccup's bed when he'd gone to wake him up that morning. His hands had trembled so badly that he'd had a hard time making it through the words his son had written, words fueled by fury and pain. Refusing to believe that Hiccup could have actually run away, he'd searched the little bedroom, only to find several items missing. He'd checked the kitchen and found some food gone. He'd looked all over the village but had come up empty-handed.

So it was true. Hiccup had left.

And he had no one to blame but himself.

He'd called a meeting in the Great Hall, and everyone listened in stunned silence as the chief read his son's note aloud. No one said anything when he finished. The quiet was so absolute that one could have heard a needle hit the floor.

Gobber was the first to speak. In a soft, faintly trembling voice, he asked, "So now what? What do we do?"

It was a moment before anyone answered.

"We should go look for him!" Snotlout said. "He can't just up and leave like this!"

"Uh…I think he just did," Tuffnut observed, though without his usual humor.

"Maybe it's for the best?" Fishlegs offered, sounding as if he wasn't so sure himself. "If Madguts the Murderous really is coming, then maybe it's good Hiccup isn't around for him to take. He'll be safer."

No one contradicted him, but it was clear that everyone present didn't like his answer.

Stoick put his head in his hands. "My poor boy," he murmured. "What have I done? I only wanted to keep him safe, but everything I do comes back to haunt me."

Astrid sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes. She refused to let anyone see her cry. Clearing her throat, she said, "Maybe…maybe we ought to just step back and…and let Hiccup sort out his thoughts like he said."

All eyes turned to her, not a few in anger at her suggestion. She colored slightly but kept her back straight. She glanced over to Heather, who was standing with her parents in the far corner of the hall. The black-haired girl met her eyes and nodded almost imperceptibly.

She then looked at Stoick, who was gazing at her, his brow furrowed in thought. He was silent for a few minutes. Then, slowly, he said, "As much as it pains me as a father…I think you're right, Astrid."

There was an outbreak of shocked mutterings at this, but everyone quieted down when the chief held up a hand. He looked back down at the note, rereading it again, and then he went on, "If we go looking for him, then we prove him right. We've been coddling him in an attempt to regain his trust, and it's backfired. He's sixteen years old, he has to learn to make his own choices. If he wants some space and time, then we'll give it to him. Maybe he's right. Perhaps this is what we all need: some time apart from each other to figure out where to go from here." He paused. "I don't want to do it," he admitted after a moment. "I want to go after him and bring him back home. But that's only going to make him angrier, and if we want him to heal then I think we should let him go. It hurts me as his father to say this, but I'm going to let him make this choice. He needs this, and so do we. Besides," he added, "he has Toothless with him. As long as he has that dragon, he should be safe."

He looked around the hall and saw that no one looked pleased with this decision, but no one argued. He could see in their eyes that they knew he was right, and that knowledge pained them as it did him. He sighed and continued, "We can only hope and pray that he'll be able to work it out and return to us soon. And while he's away, we should all try to figure out how to fix this horrible mess we've made."

He dismissed the meeting, and everyone left the hall in dejected silence.

Or almost everyone.

"Where do you think he's gone?" Gobber asked, looking sadly down into his mug.

Stoick sighed. "I don't know, Gobber. He could be anywhere…"

"No, not really," said a voice, and they both looked up. Astrid was standing a few feet away, her hands twisted together. "He'll want to go somewhere where he can get away from everyone. Meaning…"

"That he won't go anywhere that's inhabited," Stoick finished for her, understanding.

Gobber looked from one to the other, frowning in confusion. "But that doesn't leave anywhere in the Archipelago for him to go."

"Yes it does," Astrid corrected him. "He won't go anywhere inhabited by _people_." She and Stoick exchanged significant looks. "Dragons, on the other hand…"

Gobber's eyes lit up as he figured it out. "You mean he's…?"

"Yes," Stoick said, nodding. "He's gone to Dragon Island."

…

Hiccup slid from Toothless' back and looked around the cave, nodding in satisfaction. "This'll do nicely, don't you think?" he asked the dragon, who crooned questioningly in reply. "It's remote, private…shelter from any bad weather…sure, it's not a grand house, but it will do just fine."

Toothless just grumbled noncommittally.

Hiccup reached into the bag he had slung over his shoulder and pulled out an apple and a fish. Tossing the cod to Toothless, who gobbled it up at once, he took a bite out of the fruit, sighing contentedly. He had enough food to last a few days, and after that he could catch fish and cook them with Toothless' fire. He'd done it before, back when he was first learning to fly the Night Fury in secret. He saw no reason why he couldn't do it again.

He pulled out a sleeping roll and laid it out along the cave floor. He then retrieved his sketchbook and starting drawing Toothless, who had curled up for a little nap. As he worked, a smile crossed his face, a smile he hadn't worn in a very long time. He was free again. Here, he didn't have to think about what others were thinking about him. He didn't have to worry about being treated like he was a fragile little figurine that could shatter under the slightest bit of pressure. He didn't have to pretend he didn't see them all glancing at him nervously, as if afraid he would throw himself off the cliff. He was his own man here, no one to tell him to be careful, to hide and keep out of trouble, to worry about protecting poor, defenseless, _useless_ Hiccup…

Freedom felt nice.

Except…

He sighed and put down the sketchbook. The drawing was complete and it looked great. Yet he found he couldn't quite muster up any pride over it. After all, there was no one here to share his accomplishment with.

_Well, you did come out here to think_, a little voice in his head whispered. _You knew you were going to have to consider your problem. _

It was true. But that didn't make it any easier. He would have much preferred to push it out of his mind entirely, but this was impractical. He couldn't stay here on Dragon Island forever, he knew that. For one thing, he could hardly exist on fish alone for the rest of his life. For another, he was going to get bored quickly. Sure, there was Toothless, but even with his dragon friend by his side he knew he was going to run out of things to do. After all, there were only so many pages in the sketchbook, and when the charcoal pencil went dull…well…

And at any rate, Dragon Island was hardly a secret hideout. He'd brought the other teens here on training exercises multiple times and saw no reason why Astrid or Fishlegs or whoever took over the Dragon Academy wouldn't do the same. No, he'd have to go somewhere else at some point in the near future. The only question was whether it would be Berk or some other island. He supposed he could join the Meatheads. Mogadon would surely welcome him with open arms. But even this thought did not cheer him up.

Dear Thor, what was he going to do?

It was a question that hounded him for days, always niggling in the back of his mind no matter what he was doing. He ran through potential courses of action so many times he lost count:

His first option: he could just leave Berk completely, just take off and never look back. He wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness or the tension that had been a constant presence at home for the last two months. He could start over, build a new life for himself without having to deal with the memories of what he'd been put through. No one on Meathead Island, for example, had ever tried to hurt him. He'd be able to begin anew with a clean slate, make new friends, perhaps find someone to fall in love with and start a family with. And it didn't have to be just Meathead Island. There was the Peaceable Tribe. They would certainly welcome him. The Peaceables detested fights and bloodshed, so there wouldn't be any issue, he was certain.

Yet this plan had downsides. For one, it was a tremendous risk to just set off for Thor-knew-what without any idea of what he might face. Suppose whatever tribe he tried to join rejected him outright and told him to leave? Or what if they did take him in but refused to treat him as an equal? It was possible: he was small and runty, by all definitions a hiccup. What was to stop any tribe from treating him the same way he'd been treated by Stoick and the others? Sure, Mogadon probably wouldn't allow it, but there was no guarantee that it still wouldn't happen without his knowledge. After all, he couldn't be everywhere at once, and surely he'd believe the word of his own people over that of the skinny little newcomer.

And then there was the simple fact that Hiccup had a hard time making friends among Vikings. It had taken him nearly fifteen years to forge the relationships he'd had back on Berk. How long would it take to convince the villagers of another island that he didn't have to be big and brawny in order to be a decent human being? Could they be convinced at all? Viking tribes tended to believe that only the strong could belong, and he just wasn't strong, not the kind of strong they wanted anyway. Would he be leaving one place he felt he didn't belong to only to wind up just as lonely and friendless as before? It hardly seemed like an improvement from his current station.

His second option: he could leave Berk with no destination in mind. He and Toothless could just go wherever they wanted, explore the uncharted regions of the world beyond the Archipelago. He wouldn't have to worry about fitting in anywhere or pleasing anyone other than himself and his dragon friend. The two of them could exist quite happily on their own, he knew that. He'd proven it back when he was first befriending Toothless: he'd been truly at peace around the Night Fury and knew they could be perfectly content on their own together.

But this plan presented problems too. If he and Toothless went off on their own, they would be quite literally on their own. There would be no one to help them if they ran into trouble. And trouble there would certainly be. He had no idea what lay beyond the Archipelago, but he had no doubt that there would be danger and risk. There would be people who had never seen dragons before, he supposed, people who would shoot them down before he even got the chance to show them how great these creatures could be. And once they'd killed Toothless, he was sure to follow along behind him.

Even without that threat there was something that made Hiccup hesitant to take this route. He had to face reality: he was a human, and as such he was a social creature. It was fully within reason that he could get lonely for human companionship. Toothless was a wonderful friend, the best he'd ever had, but he was still a dragon. He could hardly have a deep and meaningful two-sided conversation with him. And what if he someday did want to settle down and start a family? What chance would he have of that if he remained on his own with his Night Fury as his only friend?

Which left only one other option left: return to Berk. And it was true, there were some pros to this plan. He did at least know the villagers and was even friends with several of them. They had incorporated dragons into their daily lives so there was minimal risk of Toothless getting hurt at their hands. And Stoick had promised that he would never be treated as a hiccup again.

Except…well, he already knew the cons to this option. He'd been living with those cons for two months. The constant tension and discomfort, always feeling like everyone thought he was on the brink of mental collapse, the forced cheer, the refusal or perhaps inability to treat him like a human being…

No. He couldn't go back. At least not yet. Maybe he could someday, once the villagers had figured out that he wasn't quite as fragile as they seemed to think. But until then he was better off away from Berk. As for what to do until then…well, he had some time to think about it. In the meantime he was content to live here on Dragon Island.

In fact, he was more than content. As the days passed and he was able to relax and unwind, he found himself bypassing "content" and going straight to "happy." He lived in the cave on the west side of the island, sleeping as late as Toothless allowed him every morning. He spent his days flying and exploring parts of the island with his friend, who defended him from any wild dragons that presented themselves. He soon ran out of the food he'd brought from Berk and lived on fish he caught and any fruits he found growing on the island. When it rained they huddled together in the shelter of the cave, watching the water patter against the ground outside. They ended each day with a sunset flight over the ocean, and when night descended Hiccup would fall asleep nestled against Toothless' scaly side. It was a peaceful existence for them both, and for the first time in so long Hiccup was able to let his guard down. He still thought about his choice and wondered what his next move ought to be, but he was never able to come to a firm decision and thus determined he would put off the time of selection a while longer.

Two weeks passed like this, two weeks of utter peace and tranquility punctuated by the occasional thought of the future. But, as predicted, Hiccup began to grow bored of Dragon Island. The time was rapidly approaching when he'd have to pick a path, but he still had no idea what he was going to do. And he often caught himself wondering what his family and friends were doing back on Berk. One rainy afternoon, he found himself reclining in the cave, his mind wandering and considering the possibilities. Had Madguts visited yet? What would he do when he found out his sought-after Dragon Conqueror was no longer among them? Had Heather and her family returned home yet? What did she think of his leaving? Did she miss him? Had Berk learned from their mistakes yet? How were they coping without him? How were the other teens handling lessons at the Academy? He figured Astrid and Fishlegs were capable of leading Snotlout and the twins, but it couldn't be denied that no one knew dragons as well as Hiccup did, so he couldn't help but wonder how they were faring. He hadn't seen any sign of them, so it didn't seem their training was taking them out as far as it once had.

Unless…

He sat up a little straighter as a thought occurred to him. Toothless warbled questioningly, but Hiccup paid him no mind.

Had they perhaps figured out where he was hiding?

It was possible, he supposed. Astrid in particular knew him well enough to know where he'd go to find peace and solitude. Was the lack of response from Berk due not to their ignorance of his location but instead to the fact they were actually heeding his wishes? After all, he had asked them not to come searching for him. So if they knew where he was and hadn't come, then…

"Maybe they are learning after all," he mused aloud, and to his surprise he felt his heart lift hopefully at the thought. Toothless crooned, confused by the emotions he sensed rolling off his human friend, but Hiccup merely reached back and subconsciously scratched a spot under his chin to calm him.

His hope and relief lasted only through the night, however, for the very next day he looked up at the sky at the sound of Toothless' warning bark to see two shapes descending toward him. Two very familiar shapes.

Meatlug was the first dragon to land. "Hiccup!" Fishlegs cried in delight, sliding down from the Gronckle's back. He looked as if he wanted nothing more than to give Hiccup a huge, bone-crushing hug, but he held himself back.

Hookfang landed just beside Meatlug, but to Hiccup's surprise it wasn't Snotlout who jumped down to the ground, but Gobber.

Hiccup crossed his arms. "You know, I'm pretty sure the note I left said _not _to come looking for me."

"Easy lad," Gobber said, holding his hand up in placation. "That's not why we're here."

Hiccup raised his eyebrows. "Then why are you here?"

"Just to give you an update on what's been going on," Fishlegs answered. "You know, since you're cut off from Berk out here, we figured it might help you make a decision if you knew what's been happening."

Hiccup considered this for a moment and then nodded. It made sense, he supposed.

"Well, Madguts has come and gone," Gobber said. "He was obviously disappointed to hear that you left, but since it was clear we weren't hiding you, he simply departed without a fuss."

"They sure do smell, though, the Murderous Tribe," Fishlegs remarked, making a face at the memory. "Like rotten haddock mingled with bad eggs. Trust me, you had a lucky break, Hiccup."

Despite himself, Hiccup couldn't help but grin a little.

"You have been missed, lad, I don't mind telling you," Gobber went on. "For one thing, my work load at the forge has pretty much doubled. I had never noticed before just how much you managed to get done. Besides, it's boring work without your sarcasm to help pass the time."

"And lessons at the Academy aren't as fun, either," Fishlegs confessed. "We're managing well enough, I guess, but no one gets the dragons like you do. And none of us can possibly control the twins…"

"I didn't do so great a job of that, either, I think," Hiccup remarked.

Fishlegs shrugged. "Better than us, at any rate. At least under you we all managed to get stuff done. But since you left we've been flying in circles!"

Hiccup's eyes narrowed. "You're trying to guilt me into returning."

"No, not at all!" Gobber protested. "We're just telling you the truth."

Hiccup merely hummed in reply. He wasn't sure if he believed his old mentor or not.

"Oh! And I have a message from your dad," Gobber added, almost as an afterthought.

Hiccup stiffened noticeably but said nothing, waiting to hear what his father had to say.

"He wants you to know that he's sorry," the blacksmith recited. "He hopes you realize he never wanted to cause all the trouble he has and that he prays you're safe and happy. He knows that you need some time and agrees that some distance might be beneficial to everyone. But he really misses you and hopes that you'll at least come and visit soon, so that you can see the village's attempts to learn from our mistakes. Still, he understands your reasons for reacting the way you did. So take all the time you need in order to heal."

Hiccup didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent. But his heart was suddenly aching. Was it really possible that Stoick had figured out where he went wrong and was taking steps to fix the problem? Could it really be that Berk was changing, figuring out how to treat him? It was almost too much to hope for, and yet…

"Well, that's it, I suppose," Gobber said, his tone suddenly brisk and businesslike. "I guess we'll leave you to your thoughts now." He shuffled his foot awkwardly and added, "It's…it's good to see that you're well, Hiccup."

"Yeah," seconded Fishlegs. "We'll tell everyone that you're doing fine. They'll be glad to hear it."

Hiccup nodded and managed to say, "Thanks."

Fishlegs and Gobber remounted their dragons and prepared to take off. But before they left the ground, Hiccup blurted out completely without meaning to, "How is Astrid doing?"

Fishlegs and Gobber exchanged looks of surprise, and Hiccup felt his face go red. He silently cursed himself for his curiosity.

"She's okay, I guess," Fishlegs said after a moment. "Though she hasn't been the same since you left."

"Oh?" Hiccup said weakly. "What do you mean?"

"She misses you, lad," Gobber said seriously. "She comes by the forge almost every day, as if she hopes to find you there. She's almost as torn up about it as your dad, but she's giving you the space you wanted."

Hiccup wasn't sure, but he rather thought a cool, slightly disappointed note had entered Gobber's voice, as if the blacksmith was upset with his apprentice for hurting the girl he had once loved, the girl who clearly still loved him enough to grant him his wish despite the pain it caused her. And for some reason, hearing – or thinking he was hearing – that tone made Hiccup feel ashamed of himself.

Gobber and Fishlegs took off and flew away before he could articulate a reply, leaving him alone with Toothless and his own troubled thoughts.

…

A few days later, Hiccup received another visitor.

He heard the dragon before he saw it, and as he looked up, scanning the skies for the newcomer, he thought he recognized the screech it made. Sure enough, when his eyes fell on the Nadder drawing nearer, he knew it at once: Stormfly.

_So she hasn't learned her lesson after all_, he thought, yet he couldn't stop his heart from lifting at the thought of a visit from Astrid. He blinked, stunned. No, he was supposed to be angry! She was coming to see him after he explicitly stated he didn't want people searching for him or dropping in on him all the time! She'd even said she was going to give him what he wanted! Yet for some reason, he couldn't quite muster up the appropriate amount of ire.

And then Stormfly landed, and he received another surprise. It wasn't Astrid sitting in the saddle at all.

"Heather?" he said as the black-haired girl slid from the Nadder's back. "What in Thor's name are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd come visit," Heather replied easily, smiling at him as if he hadn't run away without saying good-bye.

"Oh," was all Hiccup could say for a moment. He looked over at Stormfly, who nipped at an itch under her wing and called a greeting to Toothless. The Night Fury warbled happily in return. "Astrid let you borrow Stormfly?" he asked after a couple of awkwardly silent seconds.

"Yes," Heather answered, nodding. "Since she and I have flown together before, I felt most comfortable with her. Astrid was very agreeable once I promised I wasn't using her to do some foul deed or other." She winked playfully.

"So you're still on Berk?" Hiccup verified. "I'd have thought you'd have returned home by now."

He flinched inwardly. He hadn't meant for the words to sound so snide and accusatory. But Heather didn't seem hurt by his comment and merely said, "Oh, I convinced them to let me stay for a little while longer. I thought my presence might be needed."

Hiccup frowned. "I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "I do have experience in the field of betraying and then asking for forgiveness. I thought I could give the village some pointers."

Hiccup didn't know how to reply.

"For example," she went on, "I told them that the first step they had to take – the first step _I _had to take when it was me in their position – was to ask for forgiveness. Your father told me that they already had. Is that correct?"

Hiccup nodded wordlessly.

"In that case, then the next step was to move on and go about life as usual," Heather continued. "Learn from the mistake and carry on. Don't continue to dwell in the past because then the past never really leaves."

Hiccup unstuck his throat. "That's basically what I said in my letter," he mumbled. "They were treating me like I might fall apart if they so much as touched me, and I couldn't take it."

"Yes, I explained that to them," Heather agreed, inclining her head.

"And…what's the next step?" Hiccup asked.

Heather looked into his eyes, and her gaze did not waver. "For the transgressor, there are no further steps. Once you have admitted the mistake, asked for forgiveness, and made every effort to put it behind you, then there is nothing more to be done." There was a beat. Then she added, "At least not by the transgressor."

Hiccup blinked. Where was she going with this?

"However, there are steps that have to be taken by the victim as well," Heather told him, and now her smile didn't seem quite so warm. "The victim also must acknowledge that a mistake has been made, and in order to forgive those who have hurt him, he has to agree to move on too. Because if he continues to dwell on the transgression, then the pain will not go away but only become stronger with time. So it's vital for the victim to make an attempt to leave the past behind. It's only once both parties have done this that true forgiveness can start." She shook her head, and Hiccup could see the pity in her beautiful green eyes. "Hiccup, you haven't put it behind you yet. So how can you possibly expect to move on?"

"How can I put it behind me?" Hiccup snapped, suddenly angry. He was the one who'd been driven to suicide, and she was lecturing _him _about leaving the hurt behind?! "I've tried to, believe me! But everywhere I go I get these uncomfortable looks and too-cheerful words, like they're afraid I might try to cut my wrist again if they aren't perfectly sweet to me!"

"And did you ever tell anyone that this wasn't the right way to go about it?" Heather asked. "I mean before you left that note. Did you ever tell your father or Gobber or Astrid…" She noticed he winced at the sound of her name but didn't comment on it. "…or the others that their approach wasn't working or possibly even suggest another solution?"

Hiccup opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out, so he snapped his jaws shut again. He had no clue how to respond. No, he'd never done that. He'd always tolerated the awkwardness and tension in pained silence. Not once had he ever told anyone that their attempts at winning his trust were backfiring, and he'd had plenty of opportunities to do so.

So why hadn't he?

"Hiccup, come back to Berk," Heather said, and his attention snapped back to her. She held out her hand for him, but he made no move to take it. "Come back to your family and friends. Give them the chance to earn your trust again. Let them show you that they've learned from their mistakes and are willing to bridge the gap that's grown between them and you. Please."

Hiccup didn't know what to do, what to say. He looked away from Heather, gazing absently at the ground. He stood rooted to the spot, unable to come to a decision. He stood to gain everything if he did as she suggested, but he also risked losing it all over again. What should he do?

His muddled thoughts were interrupted by Toothless, who suddenly growled. Hiccup turned toward him. "Toothless? What is it, bud?"

But the moment the words were out of his mouth, he noticed it too: an odd, unpleasant odor in the air. He wrinkled his nose as he tried to place it. It smelled like fish that had been left in the sun too long, perhaps mingled with the stench of rotten eggs. By Heather's expression, he could tell that she'd caught a whiff of it too.

Caught it…and recognized it.

And suddenly Hiccup knew who it was. Knew because Fishlegs had told him about them just the day before.

Sure enough, they were suddenly surrounded by a horde of humongous, smelly Vikings, all roaring and shouting at the top of their lungs and advancing with weapons raised.

The Murderous Tribe.

**A/N: Dun dun dunnnnnn…! It has begun! **

**Seriously, I think this is the longest chapter of the whole story. It's nine pages long, which by my standards is pretty darn good. Don't count on the three remaining chapters being so lengthy, though. XD **

**Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this! Things are about to come to a head, so stay tuned! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. :) **


	13. Chapter 13: Madguts the Murderous

**A/N: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to throw a cliffhanger on you and then leave you hanging for so long like that! I just…life got hectic for a while: my interests shifted back to the HTTYD fairy tales and the **_**Out of the Sea **_**AU, and then I hit a massive writer's block, and…ugh! I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to abandon this story for so long. So here's the next chapter, and hopefully the next won't be too far behind.**

**Also, I should say that I've gone back and altered the timeline again. The story starts a year after the first film instead of six months. Since the new season of _Dragons _helped establish a sense of time and continuity, I felt I had to adjust it to fit. Doesn't really matter in the long run I guess, but I thought I'd let you know anyway. **

Chapter Thirteen

Madguts the Murderous

The fight was over before it had even begun. Hiccup didn't have time to yell, "Toothless look out!" before his dragon was bound in no less than three well-aimed bolas. He made to run to the Night Fury's aid but promptly toppled as he too was captured. "No!" he cried, wriggling and struggling against his bonds in vain, while Toothless shrieked in rage, the noise muffled by the bola holding his snout shut. _No! _Hiccup's brain screamed. _It's not possible! This can't have happened! _Yet it had. He and his dragon were truly and effectively trapped.

Heather got off much easier. Stormfly took to the air before she could be caught, and the girl grabbed her spiky tail as she ascended. "Don't let her get away!" one of the Murderous soldiers barked, but by the time anyone managed to aim a bola at them, they were out of range. Stormfly whipped her tail up, flinging Heather onto her back with a shrill cry of fright, and together they flew off into the distance. The girl glanced back just once, and even from their distance Hiccup could see the pure terror etched on her pretty face. Then she turned forward again and urged the dragon to greater speeds.

Hiccup barely had time to be relieved at their escape. The soldiers parted, and two Vikings approached him. The first was short, squat, and wore a gleeful smile on his battle-scarred face. The second was much taller, coated with metal armor that covered bulging muscles. His arms – the parts of them Hiccup could see, anyway – were covered with skull tattoos, and he wore a black executioner's mask over his face.

He didn't need an introduction. He knew exactly who he was facing.

Madguts the Murderous, flanked by his assistant Gumboil.

"Well, well, well," said Gumboil, rubbing his hands together excitedly. "Chief Murderous is pleased, very pleased."

Perhaps the most frightening thing about Madguts was that he never spoke a word. No one knew why exactly: some said his tongue had been ripped out, while others insisted he'd gotten his vocal cords incinerated in a fight with a dragon. Whatever the reason, Madguts had never been heard to make a sound other than a grunt, which Gumboil would promptly translate, often to the listener's knee-quaking fright.

Madguts grunted now, and Gumboil reported, "Very pleased indeed."

Hiccup looked over at Toothless, whose eyes were narrowed in fury. But with his wings bound and his mouth forced shut, he could do nothing. And Hiccup was totally unable to help him in any way.

He returned his eyes to his captors in time to see Gumboil lean in close. The repulsive odor of rotten eggs and fish filled his nostrils, and he gagged. Gumboil didn't seem to notice his discomfort, or perhaps he simply didn't care. "You must be Hiccup, son of Stoick the Vast," he observed. "Yes…you match the painting in Berk's Great Hall. Small, scrawny, and missing one leg." His eyes flitted down to the metal foot before returning back up to his face. "You know, you don't look as though you're touring the world, Hiccup," the smelly Viking remarked. "Which means Stoick told us a lie. Hmm…well, that makes Chief Murderous angry…"

As if to confirm this, Madguts grunted.

"Yes…Chief Murderous is _very annoyed_," Gumboil went on, nodding. "And that's never a good thing. But no matter, we will deal with the Hooligans later."

Gumboil took a step backward, and Hiccup took a deep breath of fresh air. His mind was reeling. His father had lied to the Murderous chief? To keep him safe?

Madguts grunted, and Gumboil nodded. "I suppose you know what we want with you, don't you, young Hiccup?"

Hiccup glared up at him and didn't answer. His act of defiance didn't seem to bother Madguts or Gumboil, the latter of whom went on, "We want you to train dragons for us. And we won't take no for an answer."

…

"Go Stormfly, go!" Heather cried, urging the Nadder faster across the endless span of ocean stretching out before her. She had to get back to Berk. She had to tell Stoick what had happened. Hiccup was in trouble, really big trouble. If they didn't return to Dragon Island soon…oh Thor, she didn't even want to think about what might happen to Hiccup and Toothless.

_What happened back there? _asked a voice in her head. _Everything was fine just a moment ago. We were talking one second, and the next… _

She remembered meeting the Murderous Tribe and their chief when they'd visited Berk. She'd been careful to keep her distance – the Murderous had a reputation for taking advantage of women whenever possible – but the other teens had filled her in on who exactly they were dealing with. The Murderous Tribe lived on a desolate island on the far edge of the Archipelago, amid the peaks of what was known, appropriately enough, as the Murderous Mountains. They didn't receive many visitors: if the smell didn't dissuade people from dropping in, their habit of sacrificing trespassers atop their highest mountain did.

Observing the visiting chief, Heather believed every single rumor about him and his men. He had not been happy to hear Stoick's report that Hiccup was off exploring the world beyond their little cluster of islands. He'd ranted and raved and threatened war…or more accurately, he had just grunted while Gumboil did all the ranting and raving and threatening. In the end, though, it couldn't be denied that Hiccup was indeed nowhere on the island. So they had left.

Or so they'd thought.

Apparently Madguts had not been as easily fooled as they'd hoped or thought. He must have been spying on Hiccup from afar. They must have known somehow where to look for him. After all, where better to seek out a Dragon Conqueror than on Dragon Island?

This was bad, really bad. If Madguts took Hiccup back to the Murderous Mountains, there would be no retrieving him. He would be so heavily guarded that rescue would be impossible. Which meant she had to get help back to Dragon Island as fast as possible. She hoped and prayed that Hiccup could stall their departure long enough for help to arrive. "Please, please," she moaned, "I've got to get help…please let me get help in time…please…"

Stormfly squawked, and Heather gave a small start. In her haste to return to Berk, she'd completely failed to notice that there was a ship cutting through the ocean below her. She squinted down at it, trying to determine whether the people aboard were friends or foes. Were these perhaps more Murderous soldiers, coming in to aid their brethren? But no, it couldn't be: they were sailing in the wrong direction. In fact, they were heading…

…right for Berk.

Her heart leapt into her throat. If the ship was loaded with enemy soldiers, then she ought to do something. She had to stop them somehow. She had a dragon, surely together they could at the very least slow them down…?

_But maybe they're not enemies_, the voice in her head suggested. _Maybe they're friends. And if so, maybe they can help. Odin knows you're going to need all the help you can get. _

So she directed Stormfly to descend toward the ship, tensed and ready to give the order to fire at the slightest provocation. She heard someone on board yell, "Dragon incoming!" but there was no yell to attack, no arrows shooting past her. That was good, right…?

She took a closer look at the ship, her eyes going to the sail fixed to the mast. Her eyes widened, and then she sagged with relief. She recognized the crest emblazoned on its surface.

"Hello!" she called down to the Vikings on board. "Meatheads? I need to speak with whoever is in charge of this vessel! May I land?"

"Certainly!" called one of the men, and Heather directed the Nadder to touch down gently on the deck. "I think you are looking for me," continued the man who'd granted her permission to land.

"Are you in charge?" Heather asked.

The man chuckled good-naturedly. "I should say so, lass. I'm Mogadon, Chief of the Meathead Tribe. How can I help you?"

…

Hiccup prided himself on his ability to think under pressure. He was a swift and cunning strategist, able to keep his cool even when under the direst of circumstances. He was lucky in this regard, for he would need to keep his wits if he was to have any hope of escaping his predicament.

He'd come to the same conclusion as Heather had: he could not let Madguts take him to the Murderous Mountains. If he went there he would never return to Berk. He had to come up with a way to keep the Murderous chief occupied here on Dragon Island long enough for Heather to return with reinforcements.

So he forced a chuckle from his lips. "Well, I have to say I'm impressed. You're not nearly as dim as my father led me to believe."

Madguts' eyes flashed dangerously, but Hiccup forced his fear aside. He had to keep his calm façade in place. The slightest betrayal of his fear would be the end of him.

"I hope you're not trying to anger Chief Murderous," Gumboil hissed. "Chief Murderous is not at all pleasant when he's angry."

"Oh no, not at all," Hiccup said, raising his eyebrows as if the very suggestion surprised him. "I was merely commending him on his intelligence, that's all."

Gumboil narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but Madguts seemed appeased by the praise. He grunted approvingly, and Gumboil translated, "Very well. Now let's be off! To the Murderous Mountains!"

Hiccup's heart lurched as the soldiers around him and Toothless started toward them, clearly with the intent to force them to their feet. And after that, to the boats that must have been docked out of sight, and then to the Murderous Mountains…

_Keep calm_, he told himself. _You have this one shot to escape. Don't screw it up. _

He laughed. "What, no test run? No quick check to make sure I'm the real deal?"

Madguts and Gumboil both looked back at him, brows furrowed in identical expressions of confusion.

"I mean, I'm just saying," Hiccup went on, "it would be a real shame to drag me all the way out to your island only to discover I'm not the real Dragon Conqueror. That would make all this a waste: all your efforts, your scheming, your clever little ambush, all for nothing."

Madguts grunted, and Gumboil said, "You're up to something."

Hiccup forced another laugh from his mouth. "Not at all! What could I possibly be up to?"

"You're trying to find some way to escape," Gumboil suggested. "You want us to let our guard down so that you'll be able to get away from us. Then it's back to Berk so you can have your dear old dad declare war on us? Oh no, I don't think so."

Hiccup's smile slipped. "Perhaps you haven't heard, but I've had a pretty big falling-out with my dad and the rest of Berk," he said, allowing his remaining resentment toward his friends and family to taint his voice. "I have no loyalties to them. I'm merely looking out for myself. I'm sure you can understand that. I don't want you to be upset if I fail to meet your expectations when we get to the Murderous Mountains. I hear you sacrifice people who upset you, and I'd really rather not be the next one to make that little one-way trip up the mountain."

Madguts narrowed his eyes shrewdly. Gumboil looked up at him, waiting for him to make a command.

When he next grunted, Gumboil turned back to Hiccup and said, "Chief Murderous wants to know what you propose."

Hiccup smiled, sensing that he was on the brink of success. "I propose a simple demonstration," he said evenly. "You untie me and I show you how I tr-…er, conquer dragons. If you are satisfied with my performance, then I come back with you to your island. If you aren't, then we part on amicable terms."

He waited, unconsciously holding his breath.

Madguts nodded once, and Gumboil said, "Very well. Chief Murderous accepts your terms. You!" he barked to the nearest soldier. "Untie him! He will need his hands to conquer the dragon. But stay close and be prepared in case he attempts to get away."

Hiccup chose not to contradict Gumboil. Let him think what he wanted.

The soldier did as told, and Hiccup rubbed his wrists as he stood up. He half-glanced at Toothless, hoping to convey some sense of reassurance to his dragon friend. By the slit-pupil glare he received in return, he rather thought the Night Fury was unconvinced.

_I'm not all that sure this is going to work, either, come to that_, he thought, and his heart thudded in his chest.

_No, you've got this_, he tried to persuade himself. _It's simple: you face a wild dragon, bungle it royally, and you and Toothless are free to leave. You can worry about where you go later. Right now all that's important is getting as far away from Madguts as possible. _

"All right," he said, forcing a light, carefree note into his voice. _That's it, optimistic but dim. Act like Snotlout and you'll be home free…dear gods, did I really just think those words? _"Just show me a dragon, and I'll get to conquering."

Madguts smiled and jerked his head to the side. "This way," Gumboil interpreted, and Hiccup followed along behind the chief and his assistant, flanked on all sides by soldiers. Toothless tried to roar, and Gumboil called back, "You four stay behind and guard the Night Fury. Don't let him escape, or it will be you we sacrifice when we get back home!"

Hiccup forced himself not to look back at his trapped dragon. _I'll be back, bud. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. You're all I've got. _

He was led further inland, away from the sandy shores and the cave he'd called home for two weeks. He soon found himself in heavy vegetation, surrounded by trees and shrubs on all sides. And half of the plants, he noticed, were heavily scorched. A dragon had been through here pretty recently. A very angry dragon, by the looks of it.

They suddenly emerged into a clearing, where a Monstrous Nightmare was pacing agitatedly. His scales were ablaze, and he roared furiously as his eyes landed on the human intruders. _Well that didn't take long_, Hiccup thought, his heart sinking. He'd been rather hoping for a Gronckle, or maybe even a Nadder. A Nightmare? Pretending to fail at dragon training was going to be tough with this one…

No…scratch that. Acting like he had no idea what he was doing wouldn't be the hard part. _Surviving _was going to be the real challenge.

"Well," Gumboil crooned. "Look what we have here." He pushed Hiccup into the clearing, which made the Nightmare shriek in rage and spread his wings threateningly. "Have at it, boy. Conquer away."

Hiccup gulped, wondering not for the first time if this plan was slightly flawed. _This might just be the stupidest thing I've ever done…and that's saying something. _

But he straightened his back and stepped closer to the dragon. The Nightmare seemed momentarily surprised by this puny human who dared to disregard his warning roars, but then his eyes narrowed in fury. He opened his jaws wide and advanced. Hiccup held his hands up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "STOP!"

His voice, as he had predicted, had no effect on the raging reptile, which continued to charge at him. Hiccup yelped and dove out of the way at the last moment, falling in the dirt and scrambling quickly back to his feet, turning to face the Nightmare once more.

_Okay…_ said a voice in his head as the dragon came for another attack. _It's just like that day in the arena over a year ago. It's your final exam all over again…only this time there's no Toothless to come to your aid. _

The thought gave him no cheer.

He leapt out of the way of the second charge and flinched as a tree to his left burst into flame. As the dragon recovered, he took a moment to analyze what he had to do.

He had to get back to the beach, back to Toothless. He had to convince Madguts that he couldn't train dragons so that he'd let them go as promised. And then he had to get the Hel out of there before the Murderous chief could change his mind or realize what he was up to. And of course he had to do all this without getting killed by a furious Monstrous Nightmare.

_All in a day's work_, he thought wryly, and then he jumped aside in time to avoid a spurt of flame that shot from the dragon's mouth. _If, of course, that day is the worst day of my life… _

And as the Nightmare prepared to attack once again, he thought that it might just be true.

…

Astrid was miserable.

She sat on one of the cliffs overlooking the ocean, the very same spot where, two weeks ago, she had seen Hiccup kiss Heather and felt her heart shatter into a million fragments. She gazed sadly out at the sea, watching for any sign of Heather's return. She was dying to ask how Hiccup was doing, but more than that, she hoped he was actually on his way back to Berk, that Heather had somehow convinced him to return.

The two weeks' separation had almost been more than she could bear. Without Hiccup on the island, she'd been at a total loss as to what to do. She'd visited the forge almost every day of his absence, at first merely out of habit, forgetting momentarily that he was no longer there. But after a week of this, it became more of a catharsis. She _had _to go to the forge, had to see the place Hiccup had frequented, where he'd designed some of his greatest achievements: Toothless' tailfin, the Mangler that had shot the Night Fury down that night so long ago. She somehow felt as if being there brought her closer to him, even if just for a moment. But it never lasted, and she always departed feeling somehow emptier than she had before.

She'd been more than willing to let Heather borrow Stormfly when she'd asked, especially when the raven-haired girl had explained that she hoped to talk some sense into Hiccup, to convince him to return. She'd almost offered to go with her, and by the look on Heather's face she figured she knew how badly she wanted to tag along. But in the end she had decided it was best if she stayed behind. Hiccup had made it quite clear that he wanted some distance from her, at least for now, and she would give him anything he wanted if it would help heal the rift that had been driven between them.

But then there was the interesting bit of news Gobber and Fishlegs had brought back with them yesterday, following their trip to Dragon Island:

"He asked about you, lass," the blacksmith had told her. "He seemed really concerned for your wellbeing."

He had asked about her? He cared? Did that mean that he actually still loved her, as Heather had suggested? It was almost too much to hope for, and yet…

She sat up straighter as the sound of a Nadder's screech reached her ears. Her eyes zeroed in on a black shape that was rapidly winging its way toward the island. She felt her heart leap into her throat. It was Stormfly, with Heather riding atop her back. She looked to the left and to the right of the dragon, but there was no sign of a Night Fury around. Her heart sank like a stone.

But still, maybe Heather would have news, good news. Maybe she'd say that Hiccup was seriously considering coming back, that it was only a matter of time before he returned to Berk and tried putting this whole mess in the past.

She stood and ran back to the village, reaching the town square just as Stormfly came in for a landing. Heather slid down from the Nadder's back, and Astrid felt a thrill of horror: the girl's face was drawn and pale. Something had gone wrong.

Stoick seemed to realize it too. He was the first to step forward and demand, "What is it, lass? What's happened?"

"H-Hiccup," Heather panted. "Hiccup's been captured! Madguts the Murderous! They found him on Dragon Island! They captured him and Toothless!"

Stoick's face drained of color, his white skin contrasting starkly with his red hair and beard. "No," he breathed, and then he shouted, "No!"

"Chief," Heather went on hurriedly, "on my way back, I met a ship heading this way. It was Chief Mogadon the Meathead and some of his men. I told them what had happened, and they're on their way to Dragon Island. If we go now, then maybe we can all stop Madguts before they take Hiccup back to the Murderous Mountains. But we have to go _now!_"

Stoick had been shaken down to his core, but he was still a chief: he'd been trained and brought up all his life to know how to act in situations such as these. He nodded curtly. "All dragon riders saddle up!" he barked. "Gobber and I will double up with Snotlout and the twins. Heather, please stay here where it's safe—"

"No!" Heather interrupted. "I'm coming with you!"

Stoick looked as if he wanted to argue with her, but time was of the essence. "Very well," he said brusquely. "Then you ride with Astrid. Let's go!"

The teens wasted no time in obeying their chief. In mere minutes, the dragons were ready to go. Gobber mounted himself atop the twins' Zippleback, situating himself at the point where the two necks joined the main body. Stoick accompanied Snotlout on Hookfang, and Heather climbed back onto Stormfly, allowing Astrid to take the lead control.

Then they were airborne, flying at top possible speed to Dragon Island.

"Do you think we'll get there in time?" Fishlegs asked worriedly.

"Hiccup is smart," Astrid replied, fighting to keep her voice steady. "He'll think of some way to stall long enough for help to arrive."

No one countered her, but she could sense that her words did nothing to reassure them. In fact, if truth be told, she couldn't even convince herself.

Heather put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Astrid hardly noticed. _Hang in there, Hiccup_, she thought as she urged Stormfly faster still. _We're coming. Just hang on for a little while longer…please…please… _

**A/N: Thank you again so much for your patience with me on this! It's almost done now, just two more chapters left! With any luck I'll have **_**Hiccup the Useless **_**complete in just a couple of weeks. I hope you're enjoying it, and thank you again for all the support! **


	14. Chapter 14: United

**A/N: Here it is! The epic climax! I really hope you enjoy it! **

Chapter Fourteen

United

Hiccup was tiring rapidly, but it seemed that his plan – if he could really call his spur-of-the-moment action such – was actually working so far.

Step One: confront angry Monstrous Nightmare and pretend he had no idea how to calm him. Check. In fact, make that double check. Not only was the Nightmare incredibly angry, but Hiccup knew that, even if he hadn't been pretending, there would have been no calming the dragon while he was in this state.

Step Two: slowly but steadily make his way back to the beach where Toothless was being held captive. Check. Through all his running and dodging and general trying to stay alive, he'd returned to the spot where he'd been captured, the furious Nightmare following his every step with the clear intent of roasting him alive.

Step Three: get clear of the Nightmare long enough to free Toothless and get off Dragon Island, hopefully without the Murderous chief or his soldiers catching on to what he was up to until it was too late for them to stop him.

Right.

He wiped sweat from his brow and tried to ignore the stinging of a minor burn he'd received on his right arm. The Nightmare was charging again, his jaws open wide. At least his scales weren't ablaze anymore: he seemed to be saving his fire for a more opportune time…

…such as an attack on the pesky little Viking who was really starting to get on his nerves.

Hiccup threw himself out of harm's way as a jet of red-hot flame shot from the dragon's mouth, setting a nearby tree alight. _I've got to speed this up_, he thought. _I'm running out of time. That was a little too close for comfort. _

Luckily, Toothless was a mere ten feet away. So when the Nightmare attacked again, Hiccup lunged for his dragon, whipping out his dagger and hurriedly cutting the bola holding the Night Fury's mouth shut.

He hadn't even gotten Toothless' snout free when there was a sword thrust under his nose.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Gumboil sneered.

Hiccup glanced over at the Murderous chief and his assistant, both of whom were looking at him with identical expressions of calm bemusement. He swallowed a lump in his throat. _Play it cool_, he told himself. _You've got this. A few more seconds and you're home free. _

"Well, clearly I can't conquer this dragon," he said, gesturing toward the Monstrous Nightmare. The fiery dragon was currently distracted by some Murderous guards and, for the moment, was paying him no mind. "So I'm assuming that, as we agreed, you're going to let me go. Obviously I'm not the Dragon Conqueror you were hoping for, so I should be going and leaving you all to your business."

He held his breath.

Madguts grunted, and Gumboil said, "Very well. You may go."

Hiccup's heart leapt. He'd done it! He'd worked his way out of a very dangerous situation with only one minor burn. All in all, he was pretty lucky. He'd have to remind his father of this the next time he doubted his son's ability to defend himself…

He nodded once to the Murderous chief and turned, intent on continuing cutting the ropes binding Toothless. But, to his confusion, he once again found the Murderous guard's sword in his face, forcing him back.

"Uh…" He looked over his shoulder at Madguts. "You wanna call off your guys so I can free my dragon?"

Madguts raised his eyebrows, and Gumboil said, "_Your _dragon? He is not your dragon any longer, boy."

Hiccup blinked. Then his brow furrowed in anger. "Are you going back on our deal, Madguts?"

"Not at all," Gumboil replied, grinning wickedly. "The deal was that you would be free to leave if you were unable to conquer a dragon, and Chief Murderous is letting you go free as promised, parting on amicable terms, as you put it. But you said nothing about the Night Fury going with you. He wasn't a part of the bargain."

Hiccup forgot how to breathe for a moment.

"I…" He thought quickly. "I have no means to leave without a dragon."

"We'll lend you a ship," Gumboil said. "We have some to spare. Now be off with you. You're starting to overstay your welcome."

Hiccup didn't move. He looked from Gumboil, who was grinning toothily at him, to Madguts, who stood as silent as ever, and then to Toothless, who snarled and growled in rage. His mind was racing, but he couldn't think of a single thing to do or say.

Madguts grunted, and Gumboil translated, "Did you really think your little charade deceived us for a moment, boy? Do you think us fools? Chief Murderous knew from the start that you were trying to wriggle your way out of coming with us, knew that you'd attempt some stupid little plan like this. He knew that your attempts to 'conquer' the Nightmare were only a ploy, a trick to convince us to release you. But it didn't work, boy. Now…" He chuckled darkly. "Either you leave this island now, without your dragon, or show us your true skills." He gestured back at the Monstrous Nightmare, who chose that moment to spout a jet of flame into the sky. "Make your choice and make it fast. Chief Murderous does not like to be kept waiting."

Hiccup stared blankly at him for several seconds, his feet rooted to the ground. _Dad was right_, he thought dismally. _I wasn't prepared for this. This man is like nothing I've ever faced before. What in Thor's name am I going to do?! _

"Well?" Gumboil barked impatiently.

Hiccup took a deep breath. Whatever happened, he couldn't just leave Toothless to the Murderous chief. "All right," he said quietly. "I will try to tame this dragon."

_And pray that I can come up with a better plan while I'm doing it_, he added silently.

Madguts smiled coldly, and Gumboil said, "A wise answer. But just to make sure…" He snapped his fingers, and at once Hiccup was shoved to the ground. Before he could articulate a single word, a soldier ripped his prosthetic away from his leg. His heart missed a beat.

"Hey!" he yelped as the soldier pulled him roughly back to his feet…or foot. "How am I supposed to train a dragon with only one leg?! I can't run away if I need to!"

"That's the point," Gumboil explained with a laugh. "You can't escape should you get it in your head to try another harebrained scheme."

"But he'll kill me!" Hiccup protested, eyeing the angry Nightmare worriedly.

Gumboil shrugged. "You should have thought of that before you tried to cheat Chief Murderous," he said. "Now enough talk! Get to work!"

Hiccup turned to face the Nightmare and took a deep, shuddering breath. What was he going to do? What _could _he do? This dragon was far beyond being consoled. He was angry, angry that he'd failed to catch the little runt who'd been running from him, angry that he was surrounded on all sides by noisy, smelly humans, angry that they weren't retreating away from him as all inferior beings should. He wasn't going to listen or heed any kind of training tactics, gentle or forceful.

Hiccup sent a silent prayer up to the gods and said, "I can't. There's no way to train this dragon, not while he's in this state."

Madguts narrowed his eyes, and Gumboil growled, "You're just trying to escape again."

"No, I'm not!" Hiccup snapped. "Look at that dragon! He's too aggressive, too enraged and confused about what's going on around him! He's bewildered and confused and he's channeling that into a fury that I can't counter! There is no calming him, no soothing him, no conquering him while he's in this state. It probably doesn't help that you all are seething with cruelty and I'm scared out of my mind. He's picking up on that, and it's only making the whole thing worse!"

Gumboil made no reply to this. He merely snapped his fingers again. Hiccup looked sharply around in time to see the nearest soldier raise his sword, pressing the tip of the blade under Toothless' throat.

"No!" Hiccup cried.

"Tame the Nightmare," Gumboil called. "Or the Night Fury dies."

Hiccup was breathing rapidly and couldn't stop himself. He looked over at Toothless, whose eyes were narrowed into furious slits, but bound as he was he had no hope of escaping should the guard decide to run him through with the sword. He then turned again toward the Nightmare, who snapped at a nearby soldier with a warning shriek.

There was nothing to be done.

He hopped forward, and the Nightmare's eyes snapped over to him, narrowing in a wordless threat. The meaning was clear: _take one more step and I'll fry you alive. _

Hiccup looked into the dragon's eyes, silently begging him to calm down, trying to assure him that he meant no harm. But it wasn't helping. The Nightmare opened his mouth, and Hiccup could see the fire forming in the back of his throat. He sucked in a breath, preparing himself for his fate…

There was a concussive explosion, and Hiccup flinched, scrunching his eyes closed as he prepared to be engulfed in a cocoon of flame. But nothing happened, and after a second he opened his eyes again. He blinked, nonplussed. The Nightmare was staggering backward, his head weaving in pain as he recoiled from the blast that had struck him in the chest. He roared in anger and fear and took off, flying away without a backward glance. Confused, Hiccup turned his gaze skyward.

"Yeah! Great shot, Hookfang!"

Hiccup's jaw dropped as four dragons descended from above, each carrying one or two riders. He recognized them at once: Stormfly, Meatlug, Hookfang, Barf and Belch, and on their backs Astrid, Heather, Fishlegs, Snotlout, Stoick, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Gobber. He'd never been happier to see them in his whole life.

At almost the same instant, a great cry went up from the forest, and from the trees emerged a horde of Vikings all brandishing weapons, their faces set in identical expressions of enraged determination. And at the front of the charge was Mogadon, chief of the Meatheads.

The Murderous soldiers all stood dumbfounded, unable to piece together what was happening around them. Even Madguts and Gumboil looked as though they'd entered a bizarre and horrible dream. Before they had a chance to react, Stoick and Gobber jumped down from their perches. Gobber ran toward the nearest Murderous soldier while Stoick darted straight for his son.

"Hiccup!" he cried. "Thank Thor!" He punched the guard holding the fake leg and snatched it away, hurriedly handing it over to Hiccup. "Quick, free Toothless and get in the air!" he barked. "Lead the assault from there. Gobber, the Meatheads, and I will head the ground attack."

A thousand things to say went through Hiccup's mind in those few seconds in which his and Stoick's eyes met, but not one of them made it to his lips. All he managed was a weak nod as he fastened his prosthetic in place. Then he rushed over to Toothless and started cutting the cords that bound him. Moments later, the Night Fury spread his wings and roared in rage, pausing only so that his human could climb into the saddle and latch his metal foot into the stirrup. Then they were airborne.

_All right_, he thought grimly. _Time to turn the tables. _

"Dragon riders!" Hiccup barked as he joined the other teens in the air. "V formation!"

As practiced, the other riders all arranged in a V shape with Hiccup and Toothless in the lead. "Attack!" Hiccup yelled, and as one the group swooped overhead, bombarding the Murderous soldiers with all the firepower their dragons could muster.

They could only do this maneuver once, however, for as soon as they were finished the Meatheads engaged the Murderous in battle, and it became impossible to determine friend from foe from their positions in the sky. So Hiccup ordered, "Diamond formation!" and the riders arranged their dragons in a diamond shape, with Fishlegs and Meatlug taking the bottommost point. From this somewhat lower vantage point, he was able to determine who was a Meathead and who was a Murderous, and he ordered his Gronckle to fire lava blasts at any enemies that presented themselves. When they reached the edge of the beach, they turned and came back for another attack. Fishlegs directed Meatlug to the top of the diamond, allowing the dragon previously above him – Barf and Belch – to take their place. Now Ruffnut and Tuffnut took the bottom corner of the diamond and had their turn at the Murderous soldiers. "Yeah!" they crowed as Barf released his cloud of green mist and Belch ignited it, sending a series of fireballs at the men below.

_Oh my gods_, Hiccup thought as he glanced down at the battle unfolding below them. _I can't believe this is happening! We're working as a team again! How long has it been since we've been like this? _

Too long, he realized. He couldn't even remember the last time they'd been able to fly like this, perfectly in sync with each other with a common goal in mind. There was no squabbling, no bickering, no showing off, just six friends united against their enemy. In that one moment, it was as if nothing had ever happened to drive Hiccup away from the other dragon riders, as if the last four months were nothing more than a very bad dream.

Down on the ground, Stoick and Gobber were going up against Madguts and Gumboil.

"You fool, Stoick," Gumboil hissed as he raised his sword at Gobber. "You are a fool, coming here to fight us."

Stoick remained calm and faced Madguts, ignoring his mouthpiece entirely. "I know I'm a fool, Madguts. In more ways than you can imagine. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stand back and let you kidnap my son." He swung his hammer, and Madguts raised his sword to block it.

"You will…ow!…regret this!" Gumboil called, recoiling as Gobber's hammer attachment struck him on the arm.

"I doubt it," Stoick replied. "I regret a lot of things, Madguts. But I cannot regret coming to my son's aid when he needs it."

Hiccup, who was passing over them as they spoke, heard his father's words, and for a moment he felt a strange sensation in his chest. He couldn't recognize it at first, but…

It was Astrid's turn to be on the bottom of the diamond. "All right, Stormfly," she said, leaning forward. Behind her, Heather tightened her grip on her friend's waist in preparation. "Let's cook some Murderous goons!"

Stormfly squawked and shot a white-hot stream of fire from her open mouth. Below, men yelled and screamed and leapt out of the way as the Nadder's flame consumed all that stood in its way, igniting trees and scorching sand. But by now, the Murderous soldiers had figured out the diamond formation's patterns, and one of them wound his arm back and hurled a well-aimed bola.

Astrid gasped and Heather let out a strangled scream as Stormfly was suddenly ensnared in the trap, plummeting to the ground like a stone. "Astrid!" Hiccup cried. "Heather!"

Stormfly hit the ground hard. Astrid, who by some miracle hadn't been caught in the bola's ropes, leapt to her feet almost at once, pulling her axe from its holster on her back and brandishing it at the approaching Murderous soldiers. Heather wasn't so lucky. She struggled and writhed against the bola, but she could not get free.

"I'm going to help them!" Hiccup yelled to the others. "You all stay in the air and cause as much damage as you can!"

"Really?" Tuffnut's eyes gleamed. "Awesome!"

"Yeah!" his twin cried. "Let's get started!"

"Wait," Tuff said, frowning. "Hiccup never lets us be destructive." He looked over at their leader and asked, "Who are you and what have you done with Hiccup?"

Hiccup couldn't help but smile faintly. "That's an excellent question, Tuff." Then he urged Toothless to the ground.

"If it was so excellent, then why didn't he answer it?" Tuffnut wondered aloud. The only answer he got was a shrug from Ruffnut.

Toothless landed and Hiccup leapt from the saddle, pulling his dagger free and setting to work on the ropes binding Stormfly and Heather. "Don't worry," he said to the black-haired girl as he sawed away at the cords. "I'm gonna get you out of here."

Heather didn't reply, but she smiled at him gratefully as he cut one rope, then two. As he began to work on a third, however, her eyes widened and she cried, "Hiccup, look out!"

Hiccup turned and sucked in a breath. There was a Murderous soldier standing a few yards away, aiming a crossbow directly at him.

There was no time to duck, no time to step aside, no time to raise any kind of defense. He had no shield, no armor, no means of defending himself. He could do no more than simply stand there in dumb silence as the soldier pressed the trigger. Time seemed to slow down as the arrow launched from the weapon, shooting straight through the air that separated the warrior and the teenage dragon trainer, closing the gap between them in no more than a single second, the time it took to draw a breath, the span of a heartbeat…

"No!"

And then Hiccup's view of the arrow was blocked by something that came between them, a slight, lean figure that dove in front of the projectile's path.

Astrid took the arrow, which embedded itself into her chest, just below the right shoulder.

She jerked backward with the impact and collapsed at Hiccup's feet, her eyes closed, her face contorted in pain, blood seeping from the wound…

Hiccup gaped down at her for a moment in utter shock. For that single second that seemed to stretch on into eternity, his mind refused to register what he'd just seen. No, it wasn't possible. Astrid couldn't have possibly been wounded. She was Astrid Hofferson, the fiercest warrior in the whole Archipelago. She didn't get wounded. She was the one who did all the wounding. The very idea that she'd been hurt was totally alien to him.

And then it hit him.

"Astrid!"

He knelt down beside her, totally forgetting that a battle was being waged around them, and gathered her gently into his arms. "Astrid, oh gods, Astrid…!" He shook his head in denial, not noticing the Murderous soldier reloading his crossbow for another attack. "Look at me! Astrid, look at me!"

Astrid opened her eyes and turned them up toward him. She smiled weakly. "Hi, Hiccup," she said. "That…went a lot better in my head."

Hiccup groaned. "Why would you do that?" he demanded. "What in Thor's name possessed you to do something so stupid?"

Astrid shrugged and promptly winced as the motion sent a bolt of pain through her injured shoulder. Hiccup eyed the arrow but didn't dare remove it. "He would have killed you," she mumbled. "I…I couldn't let him do that."

Hiccup didn't know how to reply, so he merely held her closer, forgetting that he was angry at her, forgetting that she had hurt him, forgetting that he didn't know what his feelings toward her were…

…forgetting there was a soldier about to fire another arrow at him.

"Heads up!"

Hiccup looked around and promptly ducked as Hookfang shot over his head, his mouth open to reveal rows of lethally sharp teeth. The dragon flew straight toward the soldier with the crossbow, who backpedaled quickly, stumbled, and fell. His crossbow fired, but the arrow went astray and hit nothing.

"No one tries to shoot _my _cousin!" Snotlout shouted. "Hookfang, fire!"

The Nightmare (for once) did as his rider commanded, spurting red flames at the offending soldier. The guard shrieked and scrambled out of harm's way.

"Hiccup," Astrid said softly, and he looked quickly back at her. "Free Heather and Stormfly. Then go do your thing. You and Toothless are an unstoppable team. We need you fighting. Go on."

Hiccup hesitated for a second. Then he nodded and lowered her onto the ground, rising and turning back to the captive Nadder and girl. He soon cut the cords holding them, and Stormfly ruffled her wings in relief. "Heather," Hiccup said, "please take care of Astrid. Do what you can for her."

Heather nodded. "I will."

Hiccup returned to Toothless and practically leapt into the saddle. The moment his metal foot latched into the stirrup, he urged the dragon skyward, scanning the battle below for one man, the one who had threatened him and his best friend, the one who even now was leading the forces that sought to enslave him and kill those he loved.

Madguts the Murderous was still in combat with Stoick, and it was hard to tell which man had the upper hand. They both fought fiercely and sported several cuts and slashes that bleed freely. Both were still going strong, but it was impossible to tell how much longer this would go on.

"Dad!" Hiccup yelled. "Duck!"

Stoick didn't question the command. Without even looking around at his son, he bent his head down so that Toothless' plasma blast missed him and struck the Murderous chief squarely in the chest. He was thrown backward and landed heavily in the brush, grimacing. It had been a small blast, though, nothing that would keep him down for long.

Toothless landed, and Hiccup glanced over at his father. Their eyes met, and a great deal was communicated between them completely without words. In that never-ending second that their gazes locked, Stoick saw what the boy intended to do, and even though every fatherly instinct in him was screaming to stop the lad from going through with it, he nodded and took a step back.

Then Hiccup faced Madguts, who rose to his feet, glaring hatefully at the boy he'd once hoped to capture.

"That was a mistake," Gumboil called. He was sitting on a nearby rock, his hands and feet bound tight by Gobber, whose hook attachment was poised perilously close to his throat. "Chief Murderous is very angry."

"Good," Hiccup retorted coldly. "Because so am I."

Toothless shot another plasma blast. Madguts ducked, but not quick enough to avoid having his hair singed. He scowled and raised his sword, advancing, but Toothless fired again. This blast of blue fire knocked the weapon from his hand. The sword clattered to the ground, and Madguts blinked. For the first time, he actually looked a little uncertain and…was it possible?…even afraid.

Toothless stepped toward the Murderous chief and roared at the top of his lungs. Madguts flinched, eliciting a gasp from Gumboil, who had never seen his boss show fear before. Hiccup slid down from the saddle and picked up the fallen sword, raising it to shoulder height. "Stand down," he ordered.

Madguts' eyes narrowed and he snarled. Hiccup didn't need a translation from Gumboil to understand what that meant. But rather than back away in fear, he took another step toward the furious chief, the point of the sword directed at his throat. "I said, stand down," he repeated.

Madguts raised his hands, but Hiccup never found out what he planned to do, for Toothless, tensed for the slightest sign of an attack against his human friend, fired yet another shot, which sent Madguts sprawling again.

Before he could rise, Hiccup had the sharp point of the sword pressed to his throat. If Madguts raised his head so much as an inch, it would impale him. Hiccup watched as his face paled and took a little savage satisfaction from it. But his face was still composed into a calm, cold mask when he hissed, "I'll only say it one more time. Stand. Down."

There was a beat. The entire island seemed to go quiet as it waited to see what would happen next.

Madguts looked over at Gumboil, being careful not to move too much, and grunted once.

Gumboil's eyes widened, but he called out, "Retreat!"

A moment of absolute silence followed the order, a silence filled with shock and disbelief. And then as one the Murderous soldiers turned and fled the scene, running off into the forest toward the spot where their ships were docked.

Hiccup stepped back, allowing Madguts to rise to his feet. Was he imagining it, or was the Murderous chief actually trembling a little?

"Never return to Berk," Hiccup said, and even Stoick was impressed with the decisive, authoritative note in his voice. It was the voice of a chief. "Do you understand me? Never. Step one foot on Berk and you will pay with your life. That goes for you and all of your men. Are we clear?"

Madguts looked Hiccup up and down, apparently trying to decide whether or not to take this threat seriously. Then he grunted, and Gumboil translated, "You have impressed Chief Murderous. We agree to your conditions."

Hiccup nodded. "Good. Glad we understand each other."

Madguts nodded too. And then, to everyone's surprise, he inclined his head in what was probably intended as a bow. A collective gasp went up among the Meatheads and dragon riders, for no one had ever seen Madguts submit to anyone before. There weren't even stories.

Then Madguts turned and walked away. Gumboil, freed from his bindings, followed close behind. They vanished into the woods and disappeared from sight, leaving only their rotten stench behind.

**A/N: So…I actually don't like writing battle scenes. I'm not totally convinced that this chapter is great. But I know I'm often too hard on myself, so I'll leave that for you to decide. **

**One chapter left, and then the making-of bonus! I'm almost done! Hooray! I hope you're still enjoying the story and will like the way it all wraps up. Thanks again for all your support, reviews, and patience. :)**


	15. Chapter 15: Reconciled

**A/N: Some quick replies to reviews: **

**sophhascoconuts and MMM: the making-of bonus I mentioned last chapter is kind of a behind-the-scenes look at what went into the writing of this story. I mentioned it a few chapters ago and asked if anyone wanted me to explain what was going through my head when I started and wrote **_**Hiccup the Useless**_**, kind of like a behind-the-scenes feature on a DVD. It's not a sequel, nor will there be a sequel. This story has been fun to write, but it's also been a huge challenge and, truth be told, I'm kind of glad to be finished. So I won't be writing a sequel. However, I am currently planning another writing project with similar themes within the HTTYD universe called **_**A Life Behind the Veil**_**. I have started writing it, but it's going pretty slowly at the moment, and since I have about fifty other projects I'm also working on, I can't say how soon it will be before it makes an appearance. Thank you for your encouragement and support. :) **

**Also, thank you to everyone who told me the battle scene wasn't as bad as I'd first thought. I reread it after I posted it and I'm not really sure why I wasn't happy with it before. Maybe I was just in a bad mood when I was editing it? No idea. But thank you for the kind words and encouragements! :) **

**Well, here it is. The final chapter. As always, a bittersweet moment. It's exciting to complete a project, but it's also kind of sad to see it come to an end. But I suppose all things must end sooner or later, and this is one journey I have enjoyed immensely. Okay, I'm shutting up now. One last time, on with the show! **

Chapter Fifteen

Reconciled

Hiccup slowly turned away from the forest to look at the Vikings who had come to his aid. His gaze first landed on Mogadon, who was approaching with a triumphant grin on his rugged face. "Well," he chuckled, crossing his arms. "I doubt we'll be seeing any more of the Murderous Tribe for a while."

"I hope you're right, Mogadon," Stoick said with a sigh. "If I never saw them again, it would be too soon."

"Agreed," said Gobber vehemently. Then he turned to Hiccup and added, "But how in Odin's name did he know you were here?"

"You don't suppose he followed us, do you?" asked Fishlegs worriedly, landing Meatlug nearby. "When we came by to visit yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" Mogadon repeated, and then he shook his head. "No, I doubt it. When we docked our ship, we noticed their armada along the shoreline, and it looked as though they'd been there a while. They'd set up camp and everything. I guess they'd been there two or three days at least, coming up with a strategy."

"Yes…" Stoick mused. "My best guess is that he came here straight from Berk." He looked at Hiccup and went on, "He probably deduced that you were here when he found you weren't at home. I don't think he believed me when I said you were touring the world."

Hiccup nodded. "He's smart, Madguts. I can't deny that. Far smarter than I gave him credit for."

There was a pause as Hiccup and Stoick gazed at each other. _Go on_, said a voice in Hiccup's head. _Just say it. You know you want to…have to…_ Yet he found he couldn't make his mouth form the words. How in the world was he supposed to…?

There was a faint moan, and Hiccup suddenly remembered…

"Astrid!" he cried, whirling around and hurrying to his fallen…friend? Girlfriend? Ally? Whatever, it made no difference now, any of it. What mattered was that she was hurt. How badly, he did not know.

He knelt down beside her and took her hand gently into his own. "Hang in there, Astrid. We're gonna get you back to Berk, and Gothi can take a look at you. You're going to be all right."

Astrid didn't reply. She merely smiled tightly and nodded.

Stoick turned to Mogadon and welcomed him to come back to Berk, and the Meathead chief agreed before leading his men back into the forest, starting the trek to the spot where their ship was docked. Hiccup paid no attention to any of this: he was too busy helping Astrid onto Toothless' back, being careful not to disturb the arrow still protruding from her shoulder. She winced a couple of times but made no sound, and Hiccup couldn't help but admire her for her stubborn determination to show no sign of pain.

He climbed into the saddle behind her, cradling her against his chest, and then they began the long trip back to Berk.

For the first few minutes of the flight, Stoick explained how Heather had informed them of his situation, telling him that she'd met the Meatheads in the ocean on her way to the island. Hiccup called a thank-you over to her, but apart from that he didn't speak for the duration of the journey. Stoick, Gobber, and the other teens shot curious, questioning glances at him, but the young Viking neither noticed nor cared. He was far too busy trying to sort out his own confused thoughts.

_What happened back there? _

Well, the answer to that seemed rather simple: these people, the people he had all but turned his back on, had come to his aid. The very same people that had once belittled him had done a complete turnaround and had not only protected him from a greater enemy, but fought alongside him. It was such a novel concept, and yet…and yet…he found he couldn't quite wrap his mind around it.

_It's true then_, he thought. _They've finally figured it out. They came to the rescue, but instead of telling me to stay out of the way and get where I was safe, they fought with me, let me join them in the battle, even depended on me to call the shots. They trust me enough to give me that responsibility. _

_But do I trust them in return? _

Well, why shouldn't he? Stoick had lied to Madguts in order to keep him safe, and then when that failed he rushed to his son's defense, swore to protect him at all cost, put his own life on the line for him. And not just him, but Gobber and his friends as well. Surely that ought to count for something, right?

An hour or so later, they reached the shores of Berk, and a great cheer went up among the villagers when they saw Hiccup and Toothless. However, the celebrations abruptly quieted when he helped Astrid out of the saddle. Her face was pale, but her face was set in determination. Still, Hiccup wasted no time in handing her off to Gothi, who silently ordered a pair of strong young men to help her to the girl's house, where she could do her work in peace. Hiccup watched them go, wishing he could have said something to the brave young warrior who had saved his life and not really knowing what he would have said at all.

Then he turned to face Stoick.

The chief and his son just stared at each other for several silent seconds. For a moment Hiccup wondered if he was about to be scolded. There was an odd light in Stoick's eyes that he couldn't quite place. It didn't look like anger – and he'd been on the receiving end of that particular expression enough times to be able to recognize it at once – but rather something else, a mixture of emotions, a whirlwind of activity raging behind his father's stoic face.

At length, Stoick sighed and began, "Hiccup, I…I'm sorry. Once again I have misjudged you. I believed that you wouldn't be able to handle Madguts should you ever face him, and you have proven to have a greater strength than I imagined. I…" He swallowed thickly and continued, "I hope that someday I will begin to understand how much you have grown and changed over the past year and a half. And…and I hope that you can somehow find it in yourself to forgive—"

"Stop," Hiccup interrupted.

He said the word quietly, softly, gently, but Stoick fell silent at once as if struck dumb. The Vikings around them all drew in their breath as one, their eyes wide with shock and, yes, even fear. What was he going to do now? Was he about to berate his father again for underestimating him, for not understanding his own son? Was Hiccup about to leave the tribe for good for their failure to accept him as he really was…?

Hiccup looked incredibly uncomfortable for a second or two, and it was no surprise, really. He had to let go of a great deal of pride in order to say what he was preparing to tell Stoick. "Dad," he finally began, haltingly, hesitantly, "it's…it's I who should be apologizing."

Stoick blinked, looking baffled. He was by no means the only one, either. But no one said a word, waiting for him to go on.

"I…to be honest, I…I _couldn't _handle Madguts, not on my own," Hiccup finally confessed. "Dad, you were right. You were right about him, and I was so blinded by my anger and…and my arrogance that I didn't realize it until it was too late. Dad, he had me captured. If you hadn't shown up when you did, I…I don't know what would have happened. I probably wouldn't even be alive right now. I…" He took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry for storming away from Berk without giving you a real chance to show me that you were really changing, for not letting go of the past and clinging to my pain. I…" He paused. "I'll never pretend that your plan, your original plan to make me appear useless, was a good one. It caused a lot of harm and drove me to a point I never want to return to again. But…when I should have tried to forgive you and move on, I dwelled on what you'd done and refused to even make an attempt to put it behind me. I chose not to forgive you all, and it was causing more harm than I even realized. Yes, what you did was bad, but I think we all know that. What I'm just now realizing is that…well…I'm not much better."

He glanced over at Heather, who smiled reassuringly at him and nodded so slightly that no one noticed except him. Feeling a little emboldened by this, he continued, "Instead of sitting back and watching you struggle, I should have told you what was wrong. I should have told you that what you were doing to regain my trust wasn't working and given tips to help you figure it out sooner. If I had…well…none of this mess with Madguts would have happened. So…" He stood a little straighter as he declared, "I accept full responsibility for what happened today, Dad. It is my fault that I was trapped by Madguts. If I hadn't been so proud I wouldn't have walked right into his hands. I'd have been here with people who care about me, who could have protected me and…and let me fight alongside them against him and his army. Instead I acted like a stubborn child and almost got everyone killed and…Dad, I'm so sorry." He bowed his head respectfully and added, "Can you forgive me?"

There was a beat. Then two. Then three.

And then Stoick rushed forward and pulled Hiccup into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh my son," the chief moaned. "My little Hiccup…of course I forgive you, son. I…I have never been prouder of you than I am today. Today you have displayed strength of character that I didn't even know you possessed. Perhaps what you did was foolish, I'll admit that. But what I did was wrong too. So…perhaps it is best that we both accept our own failures and forgive those of each other." He drew back slightly so that he could look Hiccup in the eye and asked, "How does that sound?"

Hiccup positively beamed up at him. "That's a plan I can get behind one hundred percent."

This time it was Hiccup who initiated the hug, falling back into his father's embrace. Stoick held him close, smiling with more joy than he'd felt in months. "I love you, Hiccup," he murmured. "I love you more than I can ever say. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. I…I hope we can start over, be a family as we once were. I know it won't always be easy but…"

"It won't be easy," Hiccup said. "But it's possible. I promise to do my best to put it all behind me. I won't forget it – I _can't _forget it – but I will try as hard as I can to move on and leave the pain behind." Then, after an almost nonexistent pause, he added, "And I love you too, Dad. Thank you. Thank you so much…for everything…"

Stoick's relief and joy were too strong for words, so he settled for merely holding Hiccup tighter. Tears slid from his eyes and into his great beard as the people around them started to cheer once again. For the first time in over four months, it looked as though peace would be returning to their tribe at last.

Hiccup eventually drew back, and the moment he extricated himself from his father's arms he was swept up into the crowd. Left and right he faced people promising to do better, to treat him like a person and not an ice sculpture, to give him the respect and honor he deserved. Gobber sobbed openly over him, declaring that he'd missed the lad like a long-lost nephew. Fishlegs gave him a hug that nearly cracked a couple of ribs. Even Snotlout shook his hand, admitting that the island had been pretty boring since he'd left and that he was glad his cousin had returned at last.

And then, in the midst of all this…

"Hiccup!"

He looked around just in time to be tackle-hugged by a young woman with beautiful blond hair. The force of her impact nearly knocked him off his feet, but he managed to regain his balance and gasped, "Astrid! Are…are you all right?"

Astrid drew back, and now Hiccup could see that her right arm was bound in a sling. "Yeah," she said. "I'm fine. Turns out the arrow didn't hit anything vital."

Something nudged Hiccup's elbow, and he looked down to see Gothi standing beside him, staff in hand. She started drawing shapes in the dirt with the end of her stick, and Gobber leaned over to translate. "Hmm…" he said. "She says that Astrid got lucky. The arrow hit a clone…a clone? I don't…ow!" Gothi smacked him in the head with the top of her staff, and Gobber quickly rechecked. "Oh, _bone_!" he corrected himself. "The arrow hit a bone. That makes more sense. And it missed all the major blood vessels and organs nearby. She just needs to take it easy for a few days so that she can deliver…_ouch! _For Thor's sake, woman! _Recover! _So she can recover!"

Relief flooded every particle of Hiccup's being. He reached out and pulled Astrid back into his embrace. "Thank all the gods," he moaned. "I thought…I was so sure that you were…I…" He floundered for a bit, unable to find the right words to properly explain his feelings. He found he couldn't quite utter his fears aloud.

And as it turned out, he didn't need to.

"I know," Astrid murmured into his shoulder. "I…I thought the same thing when I saw that man about to shoot you. I…I thought I'd lose you forever…and I…I couldn't…I had to…I was…"

She suddenly stiffened and pulled away, her eyes filling with fear. Hiccup had a feeling he knew why, too. She was afraid she was being too forward, that she was violating her promise to keep her distance from him.

To reassure her, he kept his arms firmly wrapped around her body. He smiled weakly and said, "Astrid, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that you had to do that, that you got hurt because of me and my stupidity."

Astrid blinked, looking totally floored. Then she grinned awkwardly and mumbled, "What are friends for?"

Hiccup gave her one of his goofy little smiles, and Astrid's heart missed a beat or two. "Is that all we are? Friends?"

Astrid frowned, apparently wondering if she'd hit her head during the battle or something. This wasn't the same Hiccup that had left Berk two weeks ago. "Well…" she said slowly. "I don't know…what do you think we are?"

Hiccup shrugged. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "But…" He hesitated, looking a little nervous. "But I am sure of one thing." He reached up with fingers that were trembling faintly and brushed her bangs out of her face. She inhaled sharply at his touch and unconsciously leaned a little closer to him as he whispered, "I love you."

Astrid's eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. She wasn't alone in her surprise: all around them people gasped and started whispering to each other. It was the first time either of them had actually ever said that phrase aloud to the other. Sure, they had held hands and kissed and gone on flights together, but those three little words had never been uttered between them. And somehow, in a strange way that none of them fully understood, it made it more…official, final, set in stone. With those words spoken, there was no going back.

And judging from the joyous expression slowly making its way across Astrid's face, she never wanted to go back.

She beamed and opened her mouth to speak, but her sentence got lost between her brain and her lips. She struggled for a moment before Hiccup, deciding to take matters into his own hands, pulled her into a sweet, tender kiss. Astrid responded eagerly to the gesture, kissing him back with all the fervor and passion she could put into it. Hiccup held her close, so close that Tuffnut called out, "Hey, get a room, guys!" But they ignored him. Astrid ran her one good hand through his hair, feeling her heart bound against her ribs as she let the realization wash over her. He loved her! He really loved her! Heather had been right! He still loved her!

Hiccup finally broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, though he didn't release her from his grip – not that Astrid was complaining. He grinned and opened his mouth to say something, but then his eyes fixed on a point somewhere over her shoulder, and his expression fell. Confused, Astrid looked around and understood at once. He was looking at…

"Heather," Hiccup said, and he suddenly sounded uneasy. "Heather…I…I'm sorry, but…well, I…"

But Heather was smiling gently, and she held up her hand. "It's okay, Hiccup," she said. "I understand. No explanation is necessary. Just…be happy, all right?"

Hiccup blinked a couple of times. Then he smiled in relief and said, "I will. Thank you, Heather. Thank you so much."

Astrid didn't say anything, but she too thanked Heather with her eyes. Heather nodded her head. "You're welcome," she said, and by the quick little glance she sent Astrid's way, she knew her silent message had been received.

After that, the island erupted in celebration, for the chief's son had returned home at last, and it seemed as though everything was going to be all right again. The Meatheads reached Berk, and Hiccup got the chance to properly thank Mogadon for coming to his aid. The Meathead chief merely laughed and said that he hadn't had so much fun in a long time. Everyone crowded together in the Great Hall for a feast that rivaled the annual Snoggletog celebrations. There was a good deal of talk and laughter and jokes, and for the first time in longer than he could remember Hiccup was able to smile and be completely at ease.

There was a moment, just one moment, in which his tunic's sleeve slipped, revealing the thin white scar on his wrist. His smile faltered for a second or two as he gazed at it, the memories of what had led up to that wound's appearance threatening to overwhelm him once again.

But then his smile returned and he forced the sleeve down, concealing the scar from view. He wasn't going to dwell on it, he decided. What was done was done, and it was time to focus on the now.

As the sun began to set over the horizon, he had an idea and approached Astrid. "It's pretty packed in here, isn't it?"

Astrid nodded. "Yeah. Kinda hard to breathe, huh?"

Hiccup grinned and said, "Well, why don't we step outside for a little fresh air?"

If Astrid was in any doubt as to his intentions, those clouds vanished the moment he took her hand. Her heart leaping, she agreed and allowed him to lead her out of the hall and into the cool evening air, Toothless trotting along behind them.

Once outside, Hiccup turned to her and said, "You know…we never really did go on that date we talked about all those months ago."

Astrid remembered how awkward their last sunset flight had been, what with Hiccup saying that he wasn't ready to be romantically involved with her after what she'd done. She felt a heat of shame creep into her face at the memory, but her voice was steady when she replied, "No, I guess we didn't."

Hiccup gestured toward Toothless, who could tell what his human was about to suggest and started wagging his tail like an overexcited dog. "Well, would you like to rectify that?"

Astrid positively beamed. "I would love to."

Hiccup helped her into the saddle before taking a seat in front of her. She tentatively wrapped her good arm around his waist, remembering how he had tensed the last time she'd done so and half-expecting him to tense up again. But he merely asked, "Ready?" and when she nodded he added to Toothless, "All right, bud. Let's go!"

Toothless didn't need to be told twice. He spread his wings and took to the sky with a roar of delight. Hiccup couldn't help but whoop joyfully, and even Astrid laughed with the thrill of flight. What with Astrid's injury, Toothless decided to forgo his usual aerial stunts, but that was fine by his human passengers. They were far more interested in their togetherness than in the rush of dangerous tricks. Astrid leaned into Hiccup, resting her head on his shoulder. Hiccup felt his heart swell with love and contentment, but he said nothing. He didn't have to. Their silence was peaceful, tranquil, and didn't need to be broken by words.

It was Astrid who eventually spoke first. She lifted her head and observed with a faint chuckle, "Your hair's grown longer."

Hiccup grinned and shrugged. "Yeah. I never got around to cutting it when I was on Dragon Island." Astrid didn't reply to this, but after a moment he felt a soft tugging at his auburn locks, just behind his right ear. He frowned and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Braiding your hair," Astrid said nonchalantly. Then she paused and added worriedly, "Is that all right?"

Hiccup smiled. "Certainly, milady," he said. "But are you sure you should be using that arm? Gothi said to give yourself time to recover…"

Astrid scoffed. "I'm fine, Hiccup. It doesn't even hurt." This was a lie, but she was too proud to admit it. Besides, compared to the heartache she'd suffered through, the twinge in her shoulder was nothing.

Hiccup decided to let it drop, and silence fell between them for a few more minutes.

Then he said, "I meant what I said earlier, you know."

Astrid frowned in confusion. "What?"

"When I said that I loved you," Hiccup clarified, and she felt her heart stutter. "I meant it. I…I love you, Astrid. I don't think I ever stopped loving you, not even after…all that. I was just…hurt and confused and didn't know what to make of anything. I…I just wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know that I've always loved you, and only you. There is no other girl in the entire Archipelago I would rather be with."

Astrid felt tears building in her eyes and blinked them away. Fighting to keep her voice level, she murmured, "Thank you, Hiccup. It…it means so much, to hear you say that." She paused, and then she threw caution to the winds and added, "And Hiccup…I love you too."

Hiccup smiled as Toothless, sensing that his human was happy, really happy for the first time in months, crooned and winged them a little higher into the evening sky.

**A/N: The End! **

**The making-of chapter will be up in a few days, just as soon as I give it a quick once-over. In the meantime, feel free to check out my other work. I won't go into a whole lot of detail here (we'd be here all night if I did that… XD) but you can look at my profile for some sneak peeks of my future writing projects, including a continuation of the Sea Trilogy (**_**Out of the Sea**_**, **_**Return to the Sea**_**, and **_**Bound to the Sea**_**, as well as the one-shot collection **_**Tales from the Sea**_**), a HTTYD retelling of Disney's **_**The Lion King**_**, a HTTYD fairy tale, and **_**A Life Behind the Veil**_**, as well as additions to the one-shot collection. I am curious to see what you'd like to see more, so feel free to leave a comment on what story (or stories) interests you. **

**Once again, thank you all so much for your continued support and patience! I know it's taken a lot of time, but I'm so glad I got the chance to share this story with you, and I'm truly blessed to have such kind and devoted readers. Thank you all for each and every follow, favorite, and review. It all means so much to me, and I can't thank you enough. I hope to continue hearing from you in the future! **

**And just in case I haven't said it enough…thank you again! **


	16. The Making of Hiccup the Useless

**A/N: Thank you all so much for sticking with me this long! It's been a real pleasure to present this story to you and I'm so glad you've enjoyed it! As promised, here's the making-of chapter, which will hopefully shed some light on some of the choices I made in the process of writing this story. (If it sounds a little boastful, I apologize: it's not my intent to brag. I am very proud of my work and see no reason not to be, but I don't mean to be rude about it. So if it comes across that way, I'm sorry.) As for what project I tackle next, well…right now I'm kind of taking a break, and I'm not sure which story to begin in this one's place. At the moment I'll just continue updating my current works, and when I decide on what story to start I'll get to work on it. Once again, thank you all so much for all your support! This story wouldn't exist without it! **

The Making of _Hiccup the Useless_

I guess I should start at the very beginning: when and why I got into the _How to Train Your Dragon _fandom. Oddly enough, it wasn't following the first film or even the TV show. (In fact, I didn't even know it was a TV show until quite recently.) Sure, I saw the first film when it was first released and I did enjoy it, but I didn't become obsessed with the franchise until after I saw _How to Train Your Dragon 2_, which totally floored me in how well-made it was. It was only after this that I started reading fan fictions and, not long following that, writing my own.

I wish I could claim that _Hiccup the Useless _was totally my idea, but that would be a lie. For one, and most obviously, the characters are all based on creations by Cressida Cowell, who wrote the _How to Train Your Dragon _book series, and DreamWorks SKG, which adapted those books into a film and TV franchise. But even beyond that, the inspiration for _Useless _came from someone else. In my fan fiction reading, I stumbled on SnowFlower Frost's "The Real Hero," a story with a premise I would borrow for _Useless_: Hiccup is put down as part of a plan by Stoick to keep him safe. I lapped up every word of the story. It was chock-full of angst and emotion and gut-wrenching pain, and I loved it from beginning to end.

There was just one thing I didn't care for about it: the ending. I thought it was just a little too tidy. In that story (spoiler warning!), Hiccup runs away from Berk with Toothless but doesn't make it too far before Stoick catches up and explains everything to him. Once he is aware of the plan, Hiccup decides to forgive Berk for causing him so much pain. I didn't really know what to make of this ending. On the one hand, I was glad Hiccup was able to move on and recover, but on the other, I thought it was too easy. After such pain, surely Hiccup would have some trouble forgiving them, right? (end of spoilers)

Well, a thought like that is usually all it takes to get my creative juices flowing. I'd already written two HTTYD fan fictions, so I figured, why not give my own take on "The Real Hero" a try? So I set to work on a story simply entitled "Hero," which I figured would be ten pages long, fifteen at the most. (Fun fact: the scene where Hiccup berates Stoick for his plan was actually the first part I wrote. The scene was so vivid in my mind that I had to get it on paper immediately before I forgot. I then went back to the beginning and worked my way up to that point.) There were a couple of other stories that inspired me, namely TheOneWithTheScar's _Time to Go_ and muggleborn . dragon . ryder's "Low Blow," but "The Real Hero" was the basis of everything, and it was what I kept looking back to as I worked. But as I continued writing, something happened. The story, which I had meant to be nothing more than a simple reworking of "The Real Hero," started taking on a life of its own, and before I knew it I had a thirty-page story on my hands. And I loved the end result. It was loaded with feels and angst and I was thoroughly enjoying myself while writing it. I changed the title to the more fitting "Hiccup the Useless" and ended up with a thirty-five page story. Instead of the easy forgiveness of the source material, I added a suicide attempt, a blowup on Hiccup's part, and the promise of plenty of tension in the future. But the end result was the same: Hiccup promised to forgive Berk and try to move on. I opted for a happy-ish ending, but the addition of the suicide attempt ensured that it was a darker story overall. And I couldn't have been prouder of it. I asked SnowFlower Frost for her permission to post the story, telling her that it was based on her work, and when she granted it I added it to my collection of _How to Train Your Dragon _one-shots in three parts. I was very satisfied with what I'd done and it was fairly well-received, and I moved on to other things. I thought that was the end of it.

Ha.

It wasn't too long after I posted the story that a Guest reviewer suggested I continue the story arc. He/she recommended that I follow up by showing Astrid's attempts to win him back, as she had promised at the end of the story, or perhaps even having Hiccup date someone else because he simply couldn't forgive Astrid for hurting him. If any of you reading this liked this story at all (and if you didn't, then I can't imagine why you're reading this…) then you have this Guest to thank, because I would probably have never continued the story without his/her suggestions. (And I thank you too. I have enjoyed breathing new life into my tale and hope you like the end result as much as I do.)

But I didn't start writing the continuation immediately. I was busy with other stories – I had two crossovers in the works at the time and didn't feel up to adding another story to the mix – and I really had no idea what to do with the next part of "Hiccup the Useless." So I took the suggestions and filed them away for later use while I focused on other things. But the possibilities continued to niggle in the back of my mind for a long time, and before I knew it I had planned out a sequel.

Now in the midst of all this, I had two other ideas for HTTYD fan fictions. Neither of them was ever fully fleshed out in stories of their own, but both made it into the final version of _Hiccup the Useless_. The first was going to be a romantic story in which Heather visits Berk and Hiccup starts showing her more attention than he should. Astrid was going to get upset but Heather would come to the rescue, comforting Astrid and setting them up on a date, which would have reminded Hiccup who he really loved. The second idea I had wasn't even a plot: it was just a scene with absolutely no context. I had a mental image of Hiccup arguing with Stoick, eventually throwing an object at his father and accusing him of not learning from his mistakes (in this case, not listening to him and rushing into the Battle of the Red Death, in which Hiccup lost his leg). But I had no story to go with the scene so I abandoned the idea…until I decided to continue the arc of "Hiccup the Useless," where it and the love triangle concept both found a home.

I had a plot in mind, so I finally sat down in front of the computer and started writing the sequel, a story I had titled "Winning Him Back." It was much more romance-driven than its predecessor and had a lot less angst. The story wasn't going to feature anything in the way of a fight or battle, and the tension between Hiccup and the rest of Berk would have been played down. (The scene in which Hiccup throws something at Stoick didn't enter the plans until later.) But I wasn't satisfied with where the story was going. It just didn't feel like it belonged in the same universe as "Hiccup the Useless." It was too…well, fluffy. The focus was almost entirely on Hiccup and Astrid's relationship, whereas the rest of the village was by and large ignored. So I stopped working on it, figuring I needed to rethink my outline and come up with a better story.

Some time passed and I kind of neglected "Winning Him Back" for a while. I just didn't know what to do with it. I knew I had to pick up the story from where "Hiccup the Useless" ended, but where to take it from there? I had to show how Hiccup would deal with his peers after such a total betrayal, and I realized that the road to forgiveness wasn't going to be as easy as I'd first figured. So I came up with another idea.

I was going to write a full-length story.

I figured it was perfect: I would start by posting "Hiccup the Useless" and then just keep going from there. Instead of treating it as a story with a sequel, I would instead write it as one single tale. How better to show the results of Stoick's ill-conceived plan than to combine "Winning Him Back" with the preexisting story? So that's exactly what I did. I started posting chapters of the first story as a separate entity from the one-shot collection, and in between editing these chapters I started outlining and plotting the continuation. Soon I had a rough outline in place and I thought I was ready to go.

Then the strangest thing happened: it was a success.

You have to understand, prior to _Hiccup the Useless_, none of my stories had received much of a response. I had some minor successes and I was satisfied with that, but really only one of my stories – my HTTYD retelling of _Titanic _– had received anything close to a big reaction from the fan fiction community. So I was totally floored when reviews started coming in. And they kept coming. It was a total shock to me. Sure, I thought the story was great, but I wrote it so I'm kind of biased. To hear so many people praise my work and ask for me to continue was immensely gratifying and bewildering. With such a great response I was more than happy to keep posting chapters with some regularity, usually spacing updates apart by no more than two or three days.

There was only one small point of contention: Hiccup's suicide attempt. It had gone relatively unnoticed in my one-shot collection, so when the wrist-cutting scene showed up in the full-length version, it did get a response. There were concerns that this was totally out of Hiccup's character, that he would never attempt to take his own life. I heard the arguments and I do agree that Hiccup is a truly strong individual. But part of what I'd tried to do with the adaptation of "The Real Hero" was show that every person has their limits. What happens to Hiccup is actually a common cliché, especially in romantic films: the main character is hurt by his peers and "friends" in an attempt to save him from something, whether it be heartbreak or even death. I loathe and despise this plot thread. I mean for goodness' sake, _Twilight _did it, and I thought it was stupid. I still do. (Sorry, I really hate the _Twilight _franchise, but that's another discussion.) So part of what I'd wanted to do with "Hiccup the Useless" was show that the hurt-him-to-save-him plan NEVER works. I did so by having Hiccup be pushed past his limits and then (initially, at least) resist forgiveness. So the suicide was a pretty necessary addition to the plot. I had to take the plan "too far" and then show the consequences of it. So I do feel justified in my decision. You may not agree, and that's your right, I won't argue. But I do hope you can understand why I made that choice.

Another choice that raised a few concerns was the plan itself. A couple of reviewers mentioned that they didn't think Stoick would ever consider going through with a plan like this, that he wouldn't pull this kind of mass-conspiracy just to protect Hiccup from someone who may or may not present a threat. Again, I see their point, but I would argue that Stoick is prone to such a deception. There's the episode of _Dragons: Riders of Berk _in which all of Berk tries to hide their alliance with the dragons from Dagur. Whether the plan was ill-conceived or not is up for debate, but I thought that was enough to make my tale believable. And at any rate, I always got the impression that Stoick never quite knew what to do with Hiccup, as they were so different, so I figured he'd be more than capable of misjudging his capabilities and limitations. (Also, it does need to be pointed out that this is based on a preexisting source, and I did borrow pretty heavily from it. It's not an excuse, but I think it's important to bear that in mind.)

Anyway, I posted the first seven chapters in relatively quick succession, and they were pretty well-received, even despite the small disturbance caused by the suicide attempt. I was feeling really good about my story, far better than I had before. I mean, I'd been proud of it all along, but it wasn't until it started getting the response it did that I realized that there were other people out there who really wanted to read what I was writing. And as a writer, it made me feel awesome!

And then I ran out of chapters to post. I hadn't gotten any farther in continuing the story. I'd hoped that revising, editing, and posting the chapters would have kick-started my yearning to tell the story, but unfortunately by the time Chapter Seven (the last of the original three-shot) was online, I hadn't written another word. There were a variety of reasons for the delay: I'd been away from the story too long and just couldn't get back into the right mindset for it. I'd lost interest, not only in my story, but in _How to Train Your Dragon _entirely, which isn't all that unusual for me. My interests shift and change from time to time, and I'd had enough of HTTYD for a while. I'd moved on to other projects. Sure, my other full-length stories were complete, but there was still the one-shot collection, not to mention my other writings. I have a novel that I'm trying to get published, as well as an anthology of stories that I'm hoping to finish soon. So _Hiccup the Useless _took a backseat to everything else, and I was in no particular hurry to continue it, despite the wonderful reception it was getting.

But there was another reason for the delay, and this one was a bit more worrisome than all those other, comparatively minor issues. I suddenly didn't know if my outline was going to work. Oh sure, it was better than it had been: it promised a lot of angst and tension. But you see, I'd done my job a little too well with the first half of the story. I'd written myself into a corner and didn't know how to get myself out of it. I'd done so well at establishing Hiccup's pain and suffering that it made it much harder to have him forgive Berk for what they'd put him through. I knew I wanted a happy (or at least happy-ish) ending, but how on earth was I supposed to achieve that after putting Hiccup through such hell? I didn't know.

My readers had a lot of ideas, though. I got plenty of suggestions in reviews, suggestions that I appreciated greatly but didn't always know what to do with. Some wanted Hiccup to leave Berk completely and go off on his own with Toothless to sort through his muddled thoughts. Others wanted him to never forgive his family and friends for what they did. These people's suggestions ranged anywhere from Hiccup leaving Berk and starting a new life elsewhere to having him take his revenge on Berk by killing those responsible for his pain. Some wanted a happy ending, some wanted less closure, the list went on. And while I appreciated each and every review and suggestion, I have to admit that it got a little overwhelming for a while. There were so many suggestions and they were all so different that I just didn't know how to react. I had a vague idea of where I wanted the story to go and how I wanted it to end, but this was when I first realized that I wasn't going to be able to please all my readers. Those who wanted revenge were going to be disappointed by the forgiveness and redemption I had in mind, and I'll admit that it bothered me. It took a long time for me to realize that I was just going to have to suck it up and write the story I wanted to write, and only after I managed that was I able to actually continue writing.

But I still wanted to please as many people as possible, so I made a couple of compromises. The first was a one-shot I added to my collection entitled "Fiery Vengeance." It was an alternate ending to the original film and had no relation to _Hiccup the Useless_, but it featured a lot of bloodshed and violence so I hoped it would appease those who wanted my story to go that route. I also added a scene to _Useless _in which Hiccup dreams of killing everyone on Berk, so I hoped that the people asking for revenge would be happy with that.

Now moving on to the rest of the story: of course the earliest of outlines for the continuation had featured another female character coming in and offering Hiccup the comfort he needed. But it may surprise you to know that it actually wasn't going to be Heather at first. Originally I'd intended Camicazi, a character from the book series that doesn't make an appearance in the films or TV show, to be Hiccup's love interest. I thought it would have been a great opportunity to mix the film universe with that of the books, but I soon discovered that it just wasn't going to work. Not that Camicazi is a hard character to write (I think I captured her pretty well in _Out of the Sea_, even though I made her a mermaid and Hiccup's sister in that story), but I just couldn't see her and Hiccup getting romantically involved. Reading the books, I'd always seen the two of them as best friends or even "adopted" siblings, not a couple. So I scratched her from the outline, at least at that point, and searched through the HTTYD canon for another suitable female character.

I remembered Heather, and immediately I realized that the match was perfect. The TV show had already established that Hiccup – and indeed all the boys on Berk – thought she was attractive, which made a relationship plausible, but it was more than that. Recall that in the show, she deceives the teens in order to save her parents. I thought this was a perfect parallel to what Hiccup had gone through: the tribe had deceived him in an attempt to protect him. He'd forgiven her for her deceit, so who better to show Hiccup – and even the rest of Berk – what it's like to be on the other side of that forgiveness than Heather? She wasn't just an outside observer who could provide an unbiased view of the situation: she could be a voice of reason and experience that was what Hiccup and the village – especially Astrid, who could then pass on her knowledge to Stoick – needed to gain new insights on what had to be done in order for everyone to move on.

Heather's presence in the story became so strong that I eventually reworked my outline yet again. You see, after eliminating Camicazi from the love interest role, I still wanted to keep her in the story. So I had it planned that she would find Hiccup on Dragon Island and then run for help. But as Heather's role in the plot became more important, I decided to eliminate Cami from the story entirely. She simply wasn't necessary for the story to move forward. Besides, I'd have been introducing her literally on the brink of the story's climax, which would have been pointless. So Heather took her place once and for all, and I have no regrets about it.

Heather's presence in the story got a surprising reaction from my readers, though, and I can't pretend I wasn't a little amused by it. I once again found myself getting a wide variety of suggestions and ideas in the reviews: some fully supported a Hiccup-Heather pairing, while others wanted me to stick to Hiccstrid. Some hoped Heather was playing Hiccup false whereas others pleaded with me to let her be truthful. I remember clearly at one point I actually laughed. Just a few chapters before, Hiccup had attempted suicide. I thought for sure that this would be the most controversial plot choice I made, but it made barely a ripple in comparison to Hiccup and Heather sharing a kiss. Looking back, I think I understand why it got such a reaction (some of the reviewers helped explain it to me – thanks!): there was no warning whatsoever that Hiccup was going to get romantically involved with anyone besides Astrid, so of course the kiss came as a complete surprise. So I felt obligated to explain a bit further in the next chapter: I had never intended the Hiccup-Heather pairing to be taken so seriously. Heather was merely in the right place at the right time: she was an outside observer who had taken no part in the plot to "protect" Hiccup, so he latched on to her. Using Heather's conversation with Astrid, I hoped to reestablish that Hiccup's heart belonged to Astrid alone. I am a firm supporter of Hiccstrid, so I would never actually pair him with another girl. Heather and her role as Hiccup's new girlfriend was necessary to move the plot along, but I knew from the beginning that it wouldn't be a permanent match.

Speaking of moving the plot along, I had come once again to the most problematic part of my outline: how on earth was Hiccup going to learn to forgive Berk, especially when they've been treating him like he was fragile for two months and driving him insane? And how should I tackle the issue while regarding the wishes and requests from my reviewers?

Well, it was question-answer time. Question: what did I want to accomplish? Answer: I wanted Hiccup to come to terms with what had happened to him and at least begin to forgive Berk. Okay. Question: what has to happen in order for Hiccup to start forgiving Berk? Answer: …um…

Well first of all, the village has to stop treating Hiccup like he's made of glass. Once they start treating him like a human being and not an ice sculpture, then he'll feel more like a person and will start acting like one. Great. Question: what needs to happen for the villagers to start treating Hiccup like he's human? Answer: Hiccup needs to prove that he's human. Question: what does that mean? Answer: it means he's capable of making mistakes.

So I brought in Madguts the Murderous and his plot to take the "Dragon Conqueror" for himself. I had Stoick go back into super-protective mode so that Hiccup would finally lose his temper. I added the bit about Heather's imminent departure from Berk to make Hiccup's emotions unstable so that his blowup wouldn't be quite so out of the blue and unwarranted. I liked how a couple of reviewers mentioned they thought Hiccup's reaction was a bit much, and I agree: it was. I knew that going into the scene. It had to be because I had to show that Hiccup was also capable of bad judgment. Yes, what the village did to him was awful, but his reaction wasn't great either. This of course would culminate in Madguts capturing Hiccup, proving that his father was actually right to be concerned for his safety and that Hiccup pretty much walked into a trap because he was unwilling to see Stoick's point. Then would follow a fight scene in which the Berkians would both try to protect Hiccup and let him fight alongside them, showing that they have figured out how to treat him and that Hiccup can hold his own. This way both parties learn the error of their ways, making forgiveness possible. Once Hiccup acknowledges that he has flaws, he's more able and willing to accept the flaws of his peers. And once he's accepted their faults, he can start trying to forgive them.

Phew.

So that's what I did. I held my breath and hoped my readers would like my resolution, but at the end of the day it didn't really matter to me one way or the other. I was satisfied with the ending. I felt I had done what I'd set out to do: tell a story about forgiveness by examining the strengths and weaknesses of the characters and prove that acceptance was the first and most crucial step to letting go of hurt. Quite a tall order for a story that started out as a simple retelling of someone else's fan fiction, huh?

I decided to end the story in the same way I'd ended the original three-shot. Hiccup and Astrid go for a sunset flight around the island. Only this time, instead of Hiccup telling Astrid that he wasn't ready for a return to their romantic relationship, I did the complete opposite: I had them reunite. I decided having Astrid get hurt in the battle would be enough for Hiccup to realize that he still cares for her despite what she did in the past, and combined with her being the first to give Hiccup the space he needed, this was enough to break down that barrier that Hiccup had subconsciously placed between them. Oh sure, things will still be a little tentative between them, not to mention between him and Berk. But hopefully by the end of the story, everyone's able to realize their mistakes and have learned from them, and the forgiveness process can begin.

And I can sit back and relax and call it a day.

So that's _Hiccup the Useless_, a story with humble beginnings that turned into one of the most ambitious projects I've ever tackled.

Special thanks have to go to my mom: she read the original three-shot and helped me shape the outline into the final version that you've read here. It's because of her advice that Camicazi doesn't make an awkward appearance so late in the story, and it was she who suggested having Mogadon the Meathead return to battle alongside Berk against Madguts, further cementing the fact that Hiccup is capable of making wise choices. (She also kept begging me to update the story, so it's thanks to her the chapters appeared with any kind of regularity.) So if you like _Hiccup the Useless_, you should thank her. It's probably because of her that it turned out the way it did. If you didn't, well, blame me, because it's probably my fault.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating: to the Guest who first suggested the continuation, thank you so much! I had no idea when I agreed to your idea that I would go on such a journey as I have with this story, and I seriously cannot thank you enough. And I'm so glad you've enjoyed it as well.

And of course, thank you to each and every person who followed, favorited, and reviewed _Hiccup the Useless_. I can't tell you how much your support has meant to me. I know I didn't reply to all of you who left reviews, but believe me when I say I appreciate each and every one of them, even the ones that were a bit more critical of my choices. Your input is highly valued and I can't thank you enough. I'm so glad you enjoyed my story, and I hope you continue to enjoy my future work.

Not sure what else to say but…I really enjoyed writing _Hiccup the Useless_, and I'm glad I got the chance to share it with people who enjoyed reading it. Thank you all for your support, God bless, and I hope to hear from you again soon!


	17. Useless Reptile

**A/N: Just when we all thought I was done with this story… **

**While writing **_**Hiccup the Useless**_**, I got a request from razor95 for some Toothless-POV stuff, and while I liked the idea, it never really happened. Toothless was always present and made his feelings known in no uncertain terms, but I never got around to doing scenes from his perspective. I also got a request from The Whisperer of Death to retell **_**Hiccup the Useless **_**from Toothless' POV, and at first I didn't take to the idea, pretty much for the reason stated above. Toothless was present for most of the story, and his actions pretty much told the reader how he felt about the whole thing. I didn't feel I could really do anything new with it. **

**Then I watched the first movie again, and I got to the Romantic Flight scene. I heard Hiccup call Toothless a "useless reptile." And then this one-shot happened. So…enjoy! **

Useless Reptile

My human once called me a useless reptile.

I suppose he had good reason to do so. After all, I was doing my very best to unseat the girl who was riding me behind him, the one who had hurt my friend and who would have killed me if given half the chance. Sure, I felt justified in my actions, but for some reason Hiccup really wanted me to calm down so that this girl – Astrid, he called her – would like us. Of course I ignored him and promptly went into a violent roll. "And now the spinning," I heard Hiccup say, sounding resigned, and then he'd added, "Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile."

It was such a simple phrase, made up of two equally simple words, and hearing him say them did not bother me in the slightest. I knew he didn't really see me as useless, that the words were born out of frustration and had no genuine backing to them. Besides, I'd finally calmed down after I'd heard the girl apologize, and I could tell Hiccup was pleased with me once I did. And after the whirlwind of events that followed – the discovery of the Dragon Queen's liar, the fight in the Kill Ring, the battle on Dragon Island that ended with the Queen's demise, and the integration of dragons on Berk – I could tell Hiccup didn't mean those words. I knew he cared about me, that I was his best friend, and he was mine. There was no need to forgive him over what some might consider hurtful words because I was not hurt by them. Our bond went much deeper than that. I knew he didn't see me as a useless reptile.

And for a while, I didn't either. As the months went on, he and I went on to do countless incredible feats: we worked together to ward off Outcast invasions, tamed and trained wild dragons that threatened the people of Berk, confronted the lunatic Dagur, even saved Hiccup's father Stoick from the Berserker chief's deranged clutches. I was by Hiccup's side through it all, his loyal friend and companion, partner in battle and playmate in times of peace. I would help him to his feet if he fell (he was still incredibly clumsy, I must say) and even let him ride on my back rather than walk up the hill to his house, a trip that always tired him (though the stubborn boy often refused my help in this regard…_humans_…). I was needed, wanted, and loved, certainly not a useless reptile.

But then everything changed, and even now I'm not sure what happened to bring about such a drastic shift. One day, about a year after the Dragon Queen's death, the people of Berk, people who had hailed my Hiccup as a hero among Vikings, people who seemed to have loved him as friends and family ought to love one another, suddenly turned on him for no apparent reason. And it wasn't just one or two of them. No, the whole village suddenly treated him like he was worthless. Each and every person on that island suddenly acted as though they hated him, and I had no idea why.

Neither did Hiccup, and I could tell that he was hurt by this sudden betrayal. I could hardly blame him: he'd gone from hero to screw-up overnight. It was enough to spin anyone's head, even mine. But instead of getting angry, he merely shrank into himself and tried to make himself as small as possible, meekly obeying every barked order and doing his best to make his suddenly-impossible-to-please father happy. I wanted to rage and scream at him, tell him to fight back, demand answers. Why had these people suddenly become so cold toward him? Why had Astrid, the girl I thought would someday be his mate, suddenly stopped spending time with him, intentionally avoiding him in the streets? Why had the big man with the hook hand who had always seemed to like Hiccup suddenly started saying that someone else – and Hiccup's idiot cousin of all people – had defeated the Dragon Queen? Why did the entire village look down at my human like he was a pile of dragon dung? It made no sense, and I wanted answers!

But apart from a few outbursts, Hiccup never got angry. He never snapped or yelled or raged or demanded explanations. He just…went along with it. And it broke my heart to see him so dispirited. I'd never seen him like this before, and I had absolutely no idea what I could do to help.

There was a word I kept hearing during that awful time. It kept popping up whenever people would talk to my human, and I could see that this single word caused him a great deal of pain:

"Out of the way, Useless!"

"Go somewhere you're wanted, Useless."

"What a show, Useless! It takes real talent to trip like that!"

"Did Useless make this?! Great Thor Almighty, it's terrible!"

Useless. Over and over I heard it hurled at him like pebbles thrown by a spoiled child at an innocent animal. Hiccup would flinch every time he heard it, an almost imperceptible wince that only my keen dragon eyesight could pick up. Hiccup the Useless. It was his new name, his burden, his shame, the weight that dragged him down and threatened to crush him.

I did whatever I could to cheer him up, but I was at a total loss. I just didn't know what to do! More than anything I wanted to hurt the ones responsible for putting my human through such pain, but I managed to refrain. I knew this would only upset him further. I could tell that, despite everything, Hiccup still cared about his friends and family, and he'd be pretty upset if I blasted them to the other side of the Archipelago. Of course this didn't stop me from growling and snapping at people who made comments or even looked at him the wrong way. I think he appreciated my support, little though it actually helped.

And then even this small bit of help was snatched away from him. After quitting his job in the forge (which is what he called that hot little shack where he made things in the fire – a fascinating skill, if a dragon may have an opinion), Hiccup was forced to work in the forests each and every day from dawn till dusk. And I was not allowed to accompany him. "You have to stay, bud," he said to me, looking as though he wanted nothing more than to just drop dead on the spot. "I'll see you later." And then he left the house, closing the door between us. I let out a roar of despair, but it didn't change anything. How could I possibly help my poor rider if I couldn't be by his side?

I heard movement and looked around to face Hiccup's father, Stoick, as he stood from his chair and approached me warily. My eyes narrowed and I let loose a snarl that would have sent any intelligent being running for its life. Apparently this brute of a man was not of standard intelligence, for though he winced he did not retreat. "I know, Toothless," he murmured in a much softer voice than the one he'd been using toward Hiccup over the past several weeks. "I know he's hurting. But believe me, it's for the best. I know you don't understand, but I need you to trust me."

My eyes widened in disbelief. Trust him? _Trust _him? Trust _him_? Was he serious? Did he really expect me to trust him, the man who had done nothing but hurt his own son for a full month? He must have been delusional! I told him so with a loud roar, making sure he got a good look at my teeth so there was no possibility of a misunderstanding between us. I didn't trust him, couldn't trust him. How did he expect this treatment to work out for the best?

To my surprise, Stoick seemed saddened by my response, as though he'd figured I'd be difficult to persuade.

Then he reached into his pocket and withdrew a clump of green grass. I caught a whiff of it and understood at once: dragon nip.

Before I could do anything, before I could even begin to get away from him, he shoved the handful of grass into my face, forcing me to inhale the sweet, intoxicating aroma that always put dragons into a stupor. _No! _I silently cried, fighting against the fog that was already starting to cloud my brain. _I can't succumb! I must rescue…must save…my… _

And that was it. I remember nothing after that, nothing until much later that day, when Hiccup returned home from his day in the woods. And oh, he was so miserable! It was practically rolling off him in waves. I could all but see it, as if his sadness was a physical presence in the room with us.

I couldn't help myself: I jumped up and nearly tackled him to the ground with my exuberance. _I'm sorry_, I tried to tell him. _I'm so sorry! I wanted to come with you! I tried to stay by your side! I didn't mean to abandon you! Please forgive me! _

I don't think he understood me, but he smiled weakly and said, "I'm glad to see you too, bud."

I wanted to take him flying. I knew that a night flight around the island would cheer him up. Soaring through the skies always brought a smile to his face, and I saw no reason why now would be any different. But to my surprise, Hiccup refused, saying he was too tired. I could tell it wasn't a lie: he looked like he might just topple over at any second. So I stayed beside him as he headed upstairs to his room, not leaving his side for a moment even after he fell asleep.

The next day I didn't even bother trying to follow him. I knew Stoick would be ready with his handful of dragon nip if I tried anything. I considered firing a plasma blast at him and running for it, but I didn't. He was still Hiccup's father, and for reasons I couldn't begin to fathom, I knew my boy still loved the man, wanted to make him happy, would be furious and hurt and betrayed if I so much as nipped him with a tooth. So I merely stayed by the door, patiently waiting for my poor human to return and hating myself more with every passing moment.

Yes, I hated myself, perhaps just as much as I was growing to hate the Vikings on this godsforsaken island. I just wanted to make Hiccup feel better, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't eliminate the problem without upsetting him, and I couldn't be there to offer him comfort when he needed it.

Hiccup wasn't the useless one. I was.

"Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile," he'd said that day so long ago. I remembered it vividly, replayed it in my head over and over again as the hours, days, and weeks dragged on. Only now his voice didn't sound so sarcastic anymore. No, in my imagination the words were harsh, cold, and filled with disgust. I could only imagine what Hiccup must have been feeling. Where was I? I was the only one who cared about him, the only one who loved him unconditionally, and yet I was doing nothing to help him. There was nothing I _could _do.

There was a moment, one glorious moment, where I thought all would get better. Hiccup came home early one night and decided to go for a flight. I was gentle with him, knowing he was too tired to handle my usual stunts, but I could tell from his posture atop my back that he was feeling better. Not happy, per se: he'd been through too much to feel any kind of happiness, even while flying. But there was a relief, a sense that he could let go of the worst of his pain, at least for the moment.

And then that moment was done, and everything came crashing down. I was taken away from him, forced out of his life entirely.

I was drugged with dragon nip and taken to the home of Hiccup's cousin, Snotlout. It was midday by the time I came around, and I was so enraged and crushed by what had happened that I let out the loudest roar I could force from my throat. It was so loud that it hurt my own ears, to say nothing of those of the humans standing guard over me. "Take it easy, Toothless!" Snotlout barked. "It's not permanent, for Thor's sake! There's no need to get all huffy!"

I growled and snarled at him in response, but I had been bound while in my dragon nip-induced slumber, so I couldn't attack him like I so desperately wanted to. I slumped in defeat as I realized I'd failed my Hiccup once again. He needed me, and I couldn't go to him. Why hadn't I taken him away from this place last night when I had the chance? He'd even been talking about leaving Berk. I should never have landed to allow him to pack, I should have just flown away with him on my back and never thought twice about it. And now…now it was too late. I was trapped, and there was nothing I could do about it. When I struggled against the straps and ropes that held me, Snotlout forced more dragon nip under my nose – I swore I would never take any pleasure from this stuff ever again after this – and I once again dropped off into a daze.

The effects of the dragon nip didn't wear off until later that night, when I heard Gobber the blacksmith running through the village yelling, "Gothi! Gothi, come quick! Hiccup's hurt and needs you right away! Hurry!"

_Hiccup's hurt?! _

I stood up and roared loudly, shaking my head in a vain attempt to rid myself of the straps holding me in place. My Hiccup was hurt! He needed me! Screw all these people who clearly didn't care about him! I needed to get to him! I screeched and snarled and raged, but whoever had bound me did their job well: I couldn't move more than a few inches in any direction. And all around me I could hear the sounds of the village descending into chaos. People were shouting and crying and swapping questions back and forth:

"Hiccup? Did someone say Hiccup?"

"What's wrong with him?"

"He tried to kill himself!"

"Oh no, the poor lad!"

"This is our fault. We pushed him too far."

"I knew that plan was going to fail!"

"Will he be okay?"

"Gothi's tending to him now. If anyone can help him, it's her."

Amid all this, no one heard my calls, or if they did, no one came to free me.

No one…except her.

I had just given up and flopped back onto the floor, lamenting the fact I couldn't be there for my poor boy, when the front door of the house opened. I looked up and immediately growled threateningly. It was _her_, the one who had once pretended to love Hiccup, who I'd thought would become his mate before she'd betrayed him like everyone else.

"Toothless," Astrid whispered, hurrying over to me, apparently unaware that I was quivering with rage. "Come on, boy. Hiccup needs you."

And to my utter surprise, she untied the ropes holding me down.

For a moment I simply stared at her, uncomprehending. What was going on? This girl, this human who had caused Hiccup so much pain, had broken his heart, was trying to help him? My understanding of Norse wasn't all that great, but the words "Hiccup needs you" meant something to me. Why did this girl care what Hiccup needed? She'd turned her back on him.

She seemed to understand what was going through my head, for she added quietly, "I'm so sorry. For everything."

I observed her in silence for a second or two longer before deciding she could wait. I had much more pressing matters to attend to than figuring out where this girl's heart really lay. I bounded past her and ran as fast as I could up to Hiccup's house, where I was surprised to see most of the villagers congregated. They filled almost every available space in the house, crowding around in the den and the staircase. I let out a short bark to get their attention, and they wisely got out of my way, granting me access to my boy's bedroom.

I froze on the threshold. Hiccup was lying on his bed, not moving a muscle. There was a thick cloth wrapped around his right wrist, and I could smell his blood in the air.

I had only seen Hiccup look like this once before: in the days following the battle with the Dragon Queen. He was pale and sickly looking, his eyes closed and his body motionless. He didn't even seem to be breathing. It was like looking at a corpse, and for one awful, terrible moment I thought he was really dead, that I'd lost the best friend I'd ever had. Oh how this village would pay for sucking the life out of this boy…!

But then I took a closer look and saw that he was indeed breathing. I lunged toward the bed, just barely stopping myself from jumping onto Hiccup's prone form. I wanted to nuzzle him and lick his face and tell him without words that I was sorry and would never leave his side again, but I refrained. He looked too fragile at the moment to handle such a greeting. So I settled down next to his bed and just watched him, waiting for him to wake.

"Toothless…"

I looked around and saw Stoick sitting opposite me. I blinked, momentarily surprised. I'd been so focused on Hiccup that I hadn't even noticed him. I narrowed my eyes at him and bared my teeth, hurling silent accusations at him. But he didn't react to my obvious rage. In fact, he actually looked happy to see me there.

I turned away from him and returned my gaze to my human. I would deal with the others later. Right now it was Hiccup that needed my attention.

Gobber and Stoick started to speak in low, hushed tones, saying how Hiccup was going to be all right, how he was strong and would pull through, how they were to blame for causing him so much pain. I didn't really pay attention to this: I was staring at Hiccup intently, waiting for some signal that I could use to determine whether he would be okay or not.

Then I got one: movement. It was very slight, so slight that I doubt human eyes could have picked up on it. But my keen dragon sight noticed it at once. His eyelids contracted slightly, and the faintest of frowns flitted across his face. I crooned softly in excitement and relief.

And then Hiccup opened his eyes.

"T-Toothless?" he said weakly.

I warbled as joy flooded every pore of my being. I couldn't contain myself any longer: I licked his face. _You're alive! You're alive! _I wanted to scream. _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for me when you needed me! I wanted to stay with you, I swear I did! Please forgive me, Hiccup! You're my best friend in the whole world and I never meant to abandon you! _

I'm not sure if he understood any of this. But he smiled up at me – gods how I'd missed seeing that smile! – and said, "Happy to see you too, bud."

But he didn't stay happy for long. Soon he remembered why he was injured, and he was sobbing uncontrollably. I looked down at him and rumbled. What could I do? How could I convince him that his life mattered, to me if not to anyone else? How did I let him know that I couldn't lose him, that if he died I would die with him? I silently cursed our language barrier, wishing more than anything that I could speak Norse, or that Hiccup could speak Dragonese.

Soon the whole story came out. Stoick told Hiccup that all the pain he'd been put through was all a ruse meant to protect him. I missed some of the details – like I said, my knowledge of Norse wasn't perfect – but that was the general gist of it. Everything he'd been through, every pain he'd suffered, every bit of heartbreak he'd endured, all of it was part of some harebrained scheme to keep him safe. It didn't make any sense to me, and it clearly didn't make any sense to Hiccup either, for soon he was yelling at his father, berating him for his stupidity and callousness. "Get out of my room!" he screamed, and even I was startled by the intensity of his voice. I'd never heard him so angry before. Not that I blamed him, of course. "Get out of here! Get out! I hate you! I hate all of you! Get out, godsdamn it! Get out, _get out_, GET OUT!"

That was the only cue I needed. I went into full defense mode, arching my back, baring my teeth, spreading my wings, snarling and ready to pounce on the first human who made a move in my direction.

Surprise, surprise: no one did. They all fled the room.

The moment the door was closed, I relaxed and turned back to Hiccup, who was crying once again as the full weight of what had happened came down upon him. I cringed inwardly. I hated seeing him so upset. I bent down so that he could wrap his arms around my neck, but I didn't feel like it was enough. Wasn't there anything I could do…?

Wait…yes…yes there was…

I stood on my hind feet and carried Hiccup out of his bed and onto the floor, catching him before he could fall. He curled up against my side, and I made sure he was comfortable by spreading my tail over him. I would keep him warm tonight, tonight and every night if I had to.

"I love you, Toothless," he murmured.

I felt my heart swell up. _I love you too, Hiccup_, I crooned back. I wasn't sure he heard me, though, for he was fast asleep in mere moments.

Of course, we weren't done with the battle yet. Indeed, as I was soon to discover, it was only just beginning. Hiccup would eventually forgive his friends and family, though the process took just as long as it had taken to bring him to this point in the first place. He would be plagued by nightmares that I would be powerless to save him from, try as I might to comfort him after he awoke. He would receive help from an outside source and learn what it really meant to forgive. He would do battle with a force he and I were totally unprepared to face and even come out the victor. And he would eventually come to terms with the past and put it behind him. And I would be by his side through it all, offering support where I could, providing ears to listen when he needed someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on when he was overwhelmed. I was his friend, his best friend, and I would never ever leave him.

But all that could wait for right now. At this moment, he was sleeping soundly, as soundly as he'd slept in months, and I was here, protecting him, caring for him, loving him as only the best of friends could.

Maybe I wasn't such a useless reptile after all.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this! :) Thanks again for all the love and support you gave **_**Hiccup the Useless**_**, it really means so much to me! **


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